my loneliness
For the first time tonight I felt it for what it is: loneliness--not missing someone, anyone in particular, or homesickness, just loneliness. Even though my flatmates had a friend over, I spent most of the time searching the web, online window shopping, and staying in my room, candles burning, and writing letters to friends back in the US. It's somehow a comfort to me to write to friends far away in the States. I suppose it's a feeling of having them here with me.
I did write to a couple of friends and wrote that I missed them a lot, which is indeed true, but the feeling I felt tonight was distinctly loneliness.
I'm glad I can finally make that distinction, as I feel it is a sign of some new emotional knowledge about myself, as those who are close to me know that at times I have a difficult time recognising my own emotions (and naming them too.) I'm hoping tomorrow goes better for me than today.
all for now, bn.
I did write to a couple of friends and wrote that I missed them a lot, which is indeed true, but the feeling I felt tonight was distinctly loneliness.
I'm glad I can finally make that distinction, as I feel it is a sign of some new emotional knowledge about myself, as those who are close to me know that at times I have a difficult time recognising my own emotions (and naming them too.) I'm hoping tomorrow goes better for me than today.
all for now, bn.