(no subject)

[bound_broken]

as i sank down in my chair and inhaled the first hit of my cigarette, i found myself coming up with so many reasons to be upset. i mean i was upset, i had my reasons ofcourse, but the more i drug my friend into the problem she came up with a reason for me to stop. The diagnosis became clear that i worry to much. These days there are so many things to worry about, but being in newyork in a penthouse modeling didnt seem like the senario for worrying. The truth is i miss you, and the calls have be come more scarse. once again there are reasons for that, and circumstances that must be followed. Sometimes i feel so selfish and unpleasing when it comes to relationships. Correction: i have been in the longest relationship in my life, i have no clue where i go from here. I just feel as if there is a catch. That something has to go wrong because its been so ....not nessacarily perfect, but good. In my past relationships ive been cheated on and no longer interesting. Dealing with the fact that i am what you want and what you love seems to be more difficult month by month. Now im not saying im unhappy, no not at all, i guess im just scarred and expecting the past. In life people always seem to don on past relationships, yes i know you learn from them, and when you compare people to them thats when you create problems. So my theory is that if you just stop comparing and relate to whats now instead of then, you will get further. Even though i have theories, god knows if i am going to use them...most of the time when things get tough, people tend to quite. you didnt quite on me, i wont quite on you.

Remember more than youd like to forget.
so were talking forever and you almost feel better, but betters no excuse for tonight.
You see its never bad enough to just leave or give up, but its never good enough to feel right.