(no subject)
4th of JulyThe last fireworks at the marina are banging and booming outside our window-- we'd have a perfect view if it weren't for one tree. How often is one tree in the way of a perfect view?Tony and I took Emma to a nearby elementary school on a hill to watch the fireworks ("fie nacks" or "stars" as she called them). I kept her snuggled in her Ergo carrier. She wasn't thrilled at being trapped against me as other kids got to swing and frolic on the playground before the show started, but I'm glad we did it the way we did. I taught Emma to say "ooh" and "aah". Her "ooh"s were adorable, with her pouty little lips jutting out. She was the perfect mix of excited and fearful. Her eyes were wide with curiosity, but she wanted reassuring snuggles. There was a moment when, as we stood together, my babies in and on my belly and Tony hovering behind us, I felt so lucky that the biggest parts of my world could all fit so nicely into a few square feet. Perspective. ---Hillary is in the hospital. We visited her today and it gave me a whole new respect for her. She is so brave (and I told her so and she cried and I was glad I said it because I think she really needed to hear it). The whole time we were there, doctors and nurses were streaming in and out with questions and explanations and medications and tests. I just don't know how she does it. She just takes it all in, calm when necessary, angry when necessary, asking the right questions, keeping track of so much. I imagine it's exhausting, but she stays in good spirits. It was hard to leave. Hillary was upset, mostly because I think she'd wanted more time with Emma. I hated leaving her to all of that chaos by herself without the buffer of someone to talk to. I hate that, despite the fact that all of the family is there for her, she doesn't have "a person"-- that one person that will stay and sit, no matter what. I wish I could be that person. Ruth, Ray, Emma and I went to dinner at Black Angus. We were originally going to go to so many other places but either they were closed, or Emma was asleep when we got there, so we kept driving so she could nap. We were in the car a lot and I'm grateful that Ray and Ruth didn't mind all the driving around. They really do love us. We decided, at the dimly-lit restaurant, that it didn't really feel like the forth. But it was a surprisingly good, revealing, bonding day.