He Shoots. He Scores.
What I was feeling about Aaron was coming to a head. I was really too wrapped up in it to move forward without something happening. I tried going to the gym after work. I get to the gym and I'm just not in the mood to be there. But I've changed and think I better give it a go. I try but I was fumbling and dropping things. I attempted to ride a bike for a bit and got to 20 min. and just couldn't be there. It just wasn't working out (ha ha.. .bad bad pun. stupid)
I left. Went home and started to get drunk. At 6:00 I was DRUNK. I had three glasses of wine. Chugged them.
Aaron gets home to find me in quite a state. I really don't drink much during the week. Maybe a glass of wine with dinner sometimes. But he called before he got home and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. I was sort of taking that as the exact effort I was looking for from him. Now I'm drunk and tried to change my sour attitude and give him the benefit of the doubt and let dinner be our reconnection.
He comes home and I'm ready to go (aside from being drunk and all). He hugs me and says "What's wrong?" I say "Nothing. Why?" He said he could feel it on me that I was upset. That was pretty powerful. So I told him how I was really missing him and felt really distant from him the past few weeks. He agreed and apologized that he had to work so much. I told him I knew it wasn't any easier on him. So we go out to dinner and had a good time (good sushi can almost fix anything all by itself!). Laughed talked. I wasn't going to bring up all the sub issues of the cleaning and all that. Not while everything was going well.
But then after dinner he wanted to stop and buy ice cream. Mr. "Don't bring any junk food into this house" wanted to get ice cream. At this point I was full on drunk. I don't remember if I made a comment about that or if he made some other comment about me not doing something but it set me off. OFF. A flip was switched. I let all that out. He was like "What?" I told him that he needs to stop telling me what I'm not doing. Or what I need to do. I told him that it's really been bothering me. That I feel like I'm doing SO much around the house all the time and he does nothing anymore. I realize that he's working a lot and doesn't have to do as much as I'm doing but that he has no right to point out to me if I'm not doing something up to his standards. Anyway... we hashed all that out (except I don't really remember what was said). I do remember saying over and over "Are you hearing me? Do you hear what I'm telling you?" Oh man. Drunk conversations seem fun at the time but the next day when you think you needed to really remember what was said. Shit. Did I agree to something?
The night ended very well. Re-connection established. And guess what... the rain finally stopped and the sun did come out today!
I left. Went home and started to get drunk. At 6:00 I was DRUNK. I had three glasses of wine. Chugged them.
Aaron gets home to find me in quite a state. I really don't drink much during the week. Maybe a glass of wine with dinner sometimes. But he called before he got home and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. I was sort of taking that as the exact effort I was looking for from him. Now I'm drunk and tried to change my sour attitude and give him the benefit of the doubt and let dinner be our reconnection.
He comes home and I'm ready to go (aside from being drunk and all). He hugs me and says "What's wrong?" I say "Nothing. Why?" He said he could feel it on me that I was upset. That was pretty powerful. So I told him how I was really missing him and felt really distant from him the past few weeks. He agreed and apologized that he had to work so much. I told him I knew it wasn't any easier on him. So we go out to dinner and had a good time (good sushi can almost fix anything all by itself!). Laughed talked. I wasn't going to bring up all the sub issues of the cleaning and all that. Not while everything was going well.
But then after dinner he wanted to stop and buy ice cream. Mr. "Don't bring any junk food into this house" wanted to get ice cream. At this point I was full on drunk. I don't remember if I made a comment about that or if he made some other comment about me not doing something but it set me off. OFF. A flip was switched. I let all that out. He was like "What?" I told him that he needs to stop telling me what I'm not doing. Or what I need to do. I told him that it's really been bothering me. That I feel like I'm doing SO much around the house all the time and he does nothing anymore. I realize that he's working a lot and doesn't have to do as much as I'm doing but that he has no right to point out to me if I'm not doing something up to his standards. Anyway... we hashed all that out (except I don't really remember what was said). I do remember saying over and over "Are you hearing me? Do you hear what I'm telling you?" Oh man. Drunk conversations seem fun at the time but the next day when you think you needed to really remember what was said. Shit. Did I agree to something?
The night ended very well. Re-connection established. And guess what... the rain finally stopped and the sun did come out today!