(no subject)
100quills prompt: Purity
Also inspired by the following lyrics:
Maybe I won't suffer
If I find a way to love her
I'd be lying to myself
But there is no way out that I can see
-Snow Patrol, Ways and Means
WARNINGS: NC-17, NWS, first time (under 18), non/dub-con. Also includes Draco/Blaise and references to Draco/Pansy.
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"So tight," Blaise grunted, and Draco thought he understood how that could be possible, even though he felt stretched beyond what should have been humanly possible, nearly to the point of bursting. He was trying desperately not to wince, or give any other sign of pain- pain was a weakness- but he bit down on his tongue to keep from crying out, and Blaise laughed.
He laughed. Even as he was inside Draco, he was laughing, and the humiliation of it was so great that Draco began to fight back, managing to scratch Blaise's face viciously before he found his hands pinned.
"Pansy know you're as much of a cat as she is?" Blaise asked breathlessly, and pain exploded all over Draco's body as the horrible pounding increased. He screamed, but it mixed with Blaise's, filling the room with a cacophony of tainted pleasure, and curled brokenly into the hangings after Blaise had finished.
Draco hexed his balls to the size of raisins the next time he tried to get Draco into bed, and though the rumours flew, Draco managed to spin them to hurt Blaise more than they hurt him.
That was the first and last time that Draco let anything get so near his arse.
The amount of trust in Neville's eyes terrified Draco, and he had to fight down the urge to vomit. He knew what he was asking of him, and he also knew that there was no way Neville could expect it.
"I can't," he whispered, trying not to cry, and shook his head to clear it of Blaise's laughter.
Neville didn't answer for a moment, but when he did, his soft voice was filled with so much hurt that Draco almost broke. "Why?"
One word. One single word, without much meaning, and yet it demanded more than Draco was willing to give. Draco wanted to pluck it out of the air between them and hurl it against the wall.
"Because," he said hoarsely, without really intending to say it aloud, "it's going to hurt."
Neville's arms went around his neck, and he barely managed to keep himself from burying his face in that warm, comforting shoulder.
"You won't hurt me," he said softly, and there was that trust again. It prickled at the edges of Draco's pride- he ought to be better at this than Blaise, he was better than Blaise- and refused to let go.
Just for a moment, Draco entertained the idea of asking Neville to find someone else- Harry, maybe, or Ron- to do this for him, and come back when he was more experienced, but Neville wouldn't take that well. And it wasn't what Draco wanted either, really, he realised, looking at the other man's hopeful face.
"I'll try," he said finally, and tried not to flinch as Neville smiled, laying back down on the bed. Draco reached for the lubricant and coated his shaking fingers with it, leaning over Neville to gather courage from a kiss.
Draco was taken utterly aback by Neville's first gasp of pleasure, when he hadn't even touched Neville's cock, and he found himself almost wishing he could experience it himself. Maybe it was something about him, something that prevented Draco and only Draco from enjoying having someone else's prick up his arse. He was flooded with anger, then, angry at his parents for making him this way, angry at whatever deity wrote this fate for him in the stars, and most of all angry at Blaise because he didn't want to be angry at his parents and really, this should all be Blaise's fault.
Too late, Draco realised that Neville's face had contorted with pain, and he had squeezed his lips shut tight.
"Oh, god," he whispered, horrified, "I'll stop, I didn't mean-"
But Neville cut him off and grabbed onto Draco's arms to keep him in place, shaking his head. "Just...slow down a little," he said, voice breathy with reassurance, "It's okay."
Draco took a deep breath and tried to begin again, tried to lose himself in rhythm instead of thought, and it wasn't long before Neville was moaning beneath him. Draco cherished the sound, held it to his heart and kept it there, along with the same promise he had made to Neville.
I'll try.