just ranting..
I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF SITTING AT HOME WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING EVER. ITS SUMMERTIME, IM SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HAVING FUN SOMEWHERE. ITS FRIDAY NIGHT.. YOU KNOW.. PEOPLE GO OUT ON FRIDAY NIGHTS. AM I GOING OUT?!!? OF COURSE NOT. I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING, THE MOVIES, WHATEVER. BUT IM NOT.
im so sick and fucking tired of not ever doing anything other than sitting around all day and night in front of the computer or television. the only time i really get away, is when i go over to denniss house, or lisas house or something. im seriously about ready to go insane. i cant stand my mother anymore. me and her were getting along pretty well.. until ive been STUCK in this fucking HOUSE all the fucking TIME. she yells at me for EVERYTHING.. my musics too loud, i leave the gate open to the kitchen and the dogs can get out, i yell at carly when shes bad, i type too loud, i just sit around, i dont do anything around the house, i dont have a job, and i could go on and fucking ON. she keeps telling me how im not gunna be able to have a car, or things that she wont buy me that i want for school when it starts again unless i get a job. but then when im like "mom, i feel like looking for a job today. could you drive me to places?" or "could you help me think of places to call?" its "i dont feel like it right now. im busy." yeh.. busy watching TV. damnit. i mean. GOD. i cant stand this shit. I WANT A JOB SO BAD SO THAT I CAN GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. i just dont know where to work!!! im so pale still.. i started to get tan.. but im losing it b/c i dont get outside b/c she wont take me anywhere. i mean, if she has such a problem with taking me places.. then we should MOVE TO A CIVILIZED AREA. OH, and then the last time that i talked to my dad (you know, the one that ive seen once this whole entire year), he was nagging me b/c my GRADES dropped. i was like you know what, theyre good still and i passed.. so fuck you.
i so need a life.
i thought this summer was gunna be fun. find a job, parties, i have a boyfriend for the summertime for the first time in my entire life, and i was actually happy with the way i look.. like my weight and stuff. now im starting to struggle with THAT issue again. its all fucking crazy.. and its b/c i dont know what to do with myself cause i dont have a LIFE.
today sucked of course, i watched a movie, then got on the computer. i watched carly for about maybe an hour. my mom overly pissed me off today. i wont even look at her now. i wont even look at my dad right now. i was hoping to get ahold of lisa and see if she wanted to come over tonight still, but no one was home at her house. so shes prolly out doing something like a normal teenaged human being would on a friday night. ill just sit on my ass like normal. i think i should like.. join a gym or something so that at least i could go workout to stay in shape. im just a fucking lazy ass kid that doesnt do anything but sit on the computer, sleep, and eat. im such a waste of fucking space. i got so pissed off earlier at my mom that i actually started like bawling my eyes out. im so through with my life. its useless and meaningless.
yeh, thats my conclusion. im just a waste of space. the end.
im so sick and fucking tired of not ever doing anything other than sitting around all day and night in front of the computer or television. the only time i really get away, is when i go over to denniss house, or lisas house or something. im seriously about ready to go insane. i cant stand my mother anymore. me and her were getting along pretty well.. until ive been STUCK in this fucking HOUSE all the fucking TIME. she yells at me for EVERYTHING.. my musics too loud, i leave the gate open to the kitchen and the dogs can get out, i yell at carly when shes bad, i type too loud, i just sit around, i dont do anything around the house, i dont have a job, and i could go on and fucking ON. she keeps telling me how im not gunna be able to have a car, or things that she wont buy me that i want for school when it starts again unless i get a job. but then when im like "mom, i feel like looking for a job today. could you drive me to places?" or "could you help me think of places to call?" its "i dont feel like it right now. im busy." yeh.. busy watching TV. damnit. i mean. GOD. i cant stand this shit. I WANT A JOB SO BAD SO THAT I CAN GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. i just dont know where to work!!! im so pale still.. i started to get tan.. but im losing it b/c i dont get outside b/c she wont take me anywhere. i mean, if she has such a problem with taking me places.. then we should MOVE TO A CIVILIZED AREA. OH, and then the last time that i talked to my dad (you know, the one that ive seen once this whole entire year), he was nagging me b/c my GRADES dropped. i was like you know what, theyre good still and i passed.. so fuck you.
i so need a life.
i thought this summer was gunna be fun. find a job, parties, i have a boyfriend for the summertime for the first time in my entire life, and i was actually happy with the way i look.. like my weight and stuff. now im starting to struggle with THAT issue again. its all fucking crazy.. and its b/c i dont know what to do with myself cause i dont have a LIFE.
today sucked of course, i watched a movie, then got on the computer. i watched carly for about maybe an hour. my mom overly pissed me off today. i wont even look at her now. i wont even look at my dad right now. i was hoping to get ahold of lisa and see if she wanted to come over tonight still, but no one was home at her house. so shes prolly out doing something like a normal teenaged human being would on a friday night. ill just sit on my ass like normal. i think i should like.. join a gym or something so that at least i could go workout to stay in shape. im just a fucking lazy ass kid that doesnt do anything but sit on the computer, sleep, and eat. im such a waste of fucking space. i got so pissed off earlier at my mom that i actually started like bawling my eyes out. im so through with my life. its useless and meaningless.
yeh, thats my conclusion. im just a waste of space. the end.