(no subject)
So Christmas Eve sucked, had to work and didn't get go out. Christmas was ok, didn't really do anything but my mom made homemade eggnog, it was foamy and amazing, and the dinner she made was great. saw Sherlock Holmes, josh and his sisters were there, and the movie was fuckin awesome. there was preview for clash of the titans, that movies looks epic.
found out that I have to go to NYC to see Heath Ledgers last movie. damnit.
The day after Christmas was amazing. Lauren had a party at her house, saw some people I havent in a while. met some new people.
but the best part about the party was that I actually socialized. I didn't feel that alone. I wish people had more parties like that so i could get the ability to keep a conversation again.
and Jess, I know I hurt you, and i'm sorry, but I don't think you realize how much you hurt me. I think one of the most hurtful things you could do to someone is tell them that it is too stressful and painful to even just be friends with them.
I still think about you a little bit, but most of the time its just, how could she do that.
but im over you. I don't care anymore. I really don't.
I miss having someone special in my life, but i don't want that to be you anymore. I know it sounds asshole-ish, but I don't. now that its over and I havent been around you in a long time, i realize that what we had wasn't as great as I thought it was. Not saying you were an amazing person, just that what we had was love, for most of our relationship anyways.
But thats pretty much all we had towards the end. it is important, but i know now that can't be the only thing in a relationship.
i guess thats why you are with mike. you love him, but you also enjoy doing stuff with him.
i wish you luck with everything, i hope you get to do all the things you want to do.
and don't worry about me.
eventually all this shit will work out for me.
may take a while but it will.
found out that I have to go to NYC to see Heath Ledgers last movie. damnit.
The day after Christmas was amazing. Lauren had a party at her house, saw some people I havent in a while. met some new people.
but the best part about the party was that I actually socialized. I didn't feel that alone. I wish people had more parties like that so i could get the ability to keep a conversation again.
and Jess, I know I hurt you, and i'm sorry, but I don't think you realize how much you hurt me. I think one of the most hurtful things you could do to someone is tell them that it is too stressful and painful to even just be friends with them.
I still think about you a little bit, but most of the time its just, how could she do that.
but im over you. I don't care anymore. I really don't.
I miss having someone special in my life, but i don't want that to be you anymore. I know it sounds asshole-ish, but I don't. now that its over and I havent been around you in a long time, i realize that what we had wasn't as great as I thought it was. Not saying you were an amazing person, just that what we had was love, for most of our relationship anyways.
But thats pretty much all we had towards the end. it is important, but i know now that can't be the only thing in a relationship.
i guess thats why you are with mike. you love him, but you also enjoy doing stuff with him.
i wish you luck with everything, i hope you get to do all the things you want to do.
and don't worry about me.
eventually all this shit will work out for me.
may take a while but it will.