Viva la Vida!
I do not particularly fancy Nemanja Vidić - largely because it would be like fancying a mako shark, or a man-eating crocodile - but I do like me some blood. It appeals to me on some deeply primitive level, the part of me that thinks "ooh now, I bet you just bagged one helluva mammoth" ("No, Geordies.") It is probably deeply unhealthy but but but! (And before anyone with more time on their hands than is healthy points it out - yes, an old picture, I know. But I can't say no to a bloody-toothed Serb crouching on all fours. He looks like a predatory animal at the kill.)
Watching the highlights today, I decided someone ought to write a Dexter parody starring Mr Vidić, as it is not uneasy to imagine him as a footballer moonlighting as a serial killer - or perhaps a serial killer moonlighting as a footballer, who knows. I suspect he could probably break a man in half with his bare hands. I would offer to do it myself, but I am a) lost in another fandom, fiddling with an idea for another fic at the moment, and I can only do one thing at a time, and b) I haven't watched enough James Bond movies to get the Vida voice down properly. So someone more movie-savvy and, er, funnier than I, should definitely pinch the idea and go nuts with it. Come ooon.
In related news, Smudger's return to his brunet roots (hoho) makes me sad. He's meant to be my blond bombshell! But, I'd still shag him this side of Yorkshire to the next, and leave furrows in between. He has one of those shit-eating grins that gets me into trouble, and that, unlike the hair, remains very much intact.