Between Two Evils: Chapter 22
OMG a chapter!! Y'all can thank ZWM for this. Bribery works wonders...
Previous Chapters Here
Chapter 22
“May I borrow this, My Dear?”
The lady simpered as Lotor plucked the sparkling comb from her hair. Tiny golden bells shimmered and rang.
“It's time I was leaving,” he announced to the sighing dismay of his adoring retinue. His father's victory celebrations were over, but there was always a gathering or two among his courtiers and the Prince Imperial was a welcome guest even when he arrived late and left early.
“Group hug?” He opened his arms and was engulfed in perfumed embraces.
He made a point of humming a happy tune as he entered his quarters.
The stillness as he entered the space he called home was a contrast to the gossipy, raucous atmosphere of the party. It was a contrast he usually liked, but tonight the silence seemed more reproachful than serene.
Or perhaps that was just his wife.
Allura looked achingly beautiful reclined on one of his divans, but not for his benefit. There were no members of his fan club here. She pointedly turned a page.
The sight of her stirred a volatile mix of emotions, but he let none of them show. He tossed the jewelled comb onto the cushion next to her as he strolled by. The bells sang while in flight and then landed with a discordant note, a token for a neglected wife. The food tester hissed at him from its perch near its mistress, revealing a respectable maw for a tiny creature, complete with its double row of shocking blue teeth. A superstitious person might think the little creature reflected its mistress's feelings, but more likely it just disliked the strange scents.
He resisted the urge to show the creature some real fangs.
His forced cheer disappeared as he entered the shadowy confines of their bedchamber, if it could really be called ‘theirs’ at the moment. He stopped in the center of the room and scowled at the empty bed.
***
Allura stared at the bit of priceless jewelry that lay next to her on the divan.
She’d known from the beginning that it would end this way. She’d known that he would tire of her, guessed that he would become cruel and cold. She’d even predicted the reason. She’d known that he would react badly as soon as she’d shown herself to be a person rather than a trophy, a person with inconvenient thoughts and feelings of her own. She had known. Her only question in those early days had been whether or not she would survive his displeasure. She had survived. But somewhere along the way she had gotten lost.
The golden glitter of the hair ornament seemed to mock her. She snatched it up, rising emotion carrying her to her feet. It was time to get found.
“My Lord.”
Her voice behind him made him start, it was so unexpected.
It seemed as though it had been forever since he had heard her voice. Another lifetime perhaps. Her voice, her words were husky with suppressed emotion. It affected him as if she had stroked him from head to heels-and that made him as angry as if she had slapped him across the face. Lotor set his teeth.
It was the first time she'd willingly been in the same room with him for many days. When he turned to look at her, he saw that she had the comb clutched tight in one hand, and her eyes were bright with tears. He felt a pang when he saw them, but it did not move him as much as it might have done. Her tears were not over him were they?
She had tried a few times after the night of Kogane's little visit to get him to tell her what had actually happened to her ‘favorite’ captain. Was he imprisoned? Was he dead? But he'd refused to repeat himself on the matter. He had told her what had happened. If she wanted to suffer due to her own lack of faith, then let her.
Allura did not make him wait long to find out what was on her mind. “If you've tired of me, My Lord, perhaps... Perhaps you should send me to Arus to live.”
***
Allura watched Lotor’s expression change at her request. The change was not encouraging. She had called him beautiful, and he was, as cold and lovely as some legendary prince of the fey. At the moment, he looked every bit as dangerous. Allura clutched the comb until it bit into her hand. The pain focused her, kept her from bursting into tears like a child-or a woman in the early stages of pregnancy.
You knew that he would tire of you, she told herself. You knew that he would weary of someone who didn’t worship and approve his every move. But something had gone very wrong; her foresight hadn’t prevented the pain.
“That's out of the question,” he said, obviously rejecting the suggestion without thought. “Your place is here.”
“Lotor, think-think of the babe.” She gestured around her. “Even you have to admit this is no place for an infant-no life for a child. Will they be returning to me with poisoned wounds and lazon burns as well?” And smelling like a harem, she might have added.
Lotor looked his most imperious. “I did not say the babe’s place was here.”
***
It had occurred to him recently, that perhaps Allura did not want a child. True, she seemed to like children a great deal in general, but in specific the child of a monster might not be quite so dear.
Perhaps it was from such bitter thoughts that his words came. It hardly mattered, he regretted them as soon as he saw their effect.
Allura stared at him, her breath was coming quick and shallow. She had called him a monster. Now she looked as if she believed it.
Lotor did not do panic. But the feeling that came over him then might have been very like to it.
“Allura. No. I would not separate you from our son. I swear it.”
Lotor held her gaze, willing her to believe him. “I would never separate you from our son.” He hesitated then, not from doubt, but because the words were so foreign to him. If he had ever pleaded for anything before, he could not recall it. His hands curled into fists.
“Please. Tell me you believe me.”
The words came out rather stilted and odd. He cursed himself. It sounded like they were forced out of him at knifepoint, hardly persuasive.
But, they had the desired effect. As he watched, Allura blinked and much of the tension eased from her frame. Not all, but much. She looked wary, but nodded.
The silence was awkward, but Lotor was too relieved to care.
He stared, as hungry for the sight of her as if they had been separated for weeks rather than estranged for days and by his own desire.
And that was when the tone sounded. Someone was at his door.
He hesitated for a moment, then strode past her. It was almost certainly an envoy from his father, and the last thing he needed right now was for Zarkon to tire of ceremony and bellow his summons through the comm system again.
A few words with the messenger confirmed it. His father wanted his presence immediately.
He waited until the man left before exiting himself.
As he set out for the throne room his thoughts stayed behind.
He must do something about the situation, though he knew not what. Something other than his current brilliant strategy which he liked to call 'making things worse'. It would save his wife the trouble of stabbing him while he slept, after all, and him the trouble of deserving it. He winced as he remembered the physic's instruction not to distress his wife.
Whatever he was going to do, he needed to do it quickly. Time was running out. Soon the fleet would depart and him with it.
It would be nice if he could summon some enthusiasm for being separate from her for an extended period, but he could not. Even at his most angry, he had still craved her, and most of his anger had now deserted him. Which led to the most important reason: he was in the right perhaps, but he was beginning to find being in the right to be very tiresome.
Then there was the question of where she was to live while he was away. As he walked, he considered-and discarded-the options. There had been a time when that would have taken longer. Now his requirements were much more strict. Admes could be trusted to keep excellent watch over her on Nephalem, and she would receive the best medical care, but it was difficult to contemplate leaving her where she had come so close to disaster, and Nephalem... Nephalem was a little too much fun.
Then there was Arus. Lotor grimaced. There was no more loyal or effective protection than what she would have there. He thought of Kogane’s determined face as he fought for his princess-a little too loyal.
He had reached no conclusion by the time he walked through the doors of the throne room.
The first thing Lotor noticed was that his king was in a very good mood.
“Ah son, I’m glad to see you are on time for once. The Princess Valis and her delegation should be here any moment.”
Valis. His father had mentioned an offer of marriage from the Arach Empire.
“Get ready to meet your new stepmother! Leading those campaigns myself made me feel like a new man. I am well on my way to closing negotiations on my own behalf.”
Oh, Hundred Hells. And the seven wretched Urdemons that spawned them, and all the molten torments within. Lotor glared at his father, incensed.
Zarkon smiled back, well pleased with himself.
Valis would try to kill him eventually; his father knew this as well as he did.
He should be safe enough until she had an alternative heir and perhaps a spare. And if Zarkon failed to provide her with them in a timely manner, she might come looking for him to do so. She might even try to manipulate him into challenging his father. It was now clear that he might have no choice if he wished to maintain a hold on the throne. So much for sharing power.
And then it was time for him to turn and face the approaching delegation, to smile as it parted to reveal a composed young woman in palest lavender. Her eyes were also a pale lavender which gave her a dreamy, unfocused look. She smiled back. He held out his hand for hers and accompanied her up the many steps to his father’s throne.
He was still smiling as they reached the top, the Princess’s gloved fingers resting against his gauntleted palm. The polite pressure made a murderous tension prickle between his shoulder blades and crawl up the back of his neck.
He would be safe enough for now. Allura would be on her ‘Must Die’ list under the heading of ‘Soonest’. Another fact he was certain his father was well aware of. After all, there was no advantage to loose ends like the one that was already deepening the curve of Allura’s belly.
***
Allura stood up when she heard Lotor return a few hours later. Her latest attempt to talk to her husband hadn’t exactly gone well, but not so badly that there was no point in trying again. She wasn’t really sure what she was going to say.
She smoothed her skirt as he strode into the room. “My Lord?”
His response shocked her. He strode right up to her and lifted her against him. Her deep gasp of surprise pressed her more closely yet, and then her surprise shattered into confusion as a warm mouth pressed to hers. He kissed her as though he’d been waiting an eternity; he kissed her as though he would never have the chance again. There was passion, but not hurried, not rough.
Allura saw then, in blinding epiphany how she had lost her way. He kissed her as though she were the most precious thing in the universe. He touched her, and she felt the most shocking pleasure; he held her and everything dimmed and fell away except for the host of temptations that was this man. Her fingers clenched, testing the hard sleek muscle beneath his clothes.
For a surprised instant she was plunged back into a time when his embrace was a haven and his regard something more than a spoiled prince’s whim.
Then a different memory, silent and pale, bobbed to the surface. It was a memory of the slave Lotor had executed in front of her, of the fear and defiance on his face just before Lotor’s blade took him through the heart. Only this time the man wore Keith’s face.
Delicious tension lurched into nausea.
She made a distressed sound and began to struggle. Lotor released her, almost too suddenly. She staggered back and clapped a hand over her mouth. Their eyes met for one fraught moment, and then she fled for the bathing room.
***
Allura splashed some cold water on her face, and then carefully blotted it dry with a soft towel. She hadn’t actually thrown up, but she probably would have felt better if she had.
So much for her hopes for a productive chat, she thought, found herself flushing at the memory of what had taken place instead. Well, third time was the charm? She took a deep breath and ventured forth.
Lotor was not in the bedroom. She peered into the main chamber. He was still standing where she had left him, seemingly lost in thought.
He looked up when she entered, regarding her so dispassionately that Allura wondered if she had completely imagined their embrace.
“I have reconsidered your suggestion,” he said. “You will be returning to Arus.”
Allura was speechless. Then, perversely, she felt horribly rejected.
“If,” Lotor continued, “you agree to certain conditions.”
“And what are those conditions?” Allura asked after a moment.
“I'm still considering them.”
What else could she do but agree? “Very well.” Then, “When will I be leaving?”
“Now.”
“Now! I-” Allura hesitated, looking around.
It seemed she was going to depart this place as abruptly as it had once become her home. She spotted a mound of ruby plumes among some gilded cushions; the bells on the golden hair comb chimed faintly as she hurried to scoop up the little creature. Her lion key was already tucked in her bodice; she had taken to carrying it there. For some reason she found it comforting next to her skin. Allura took a deep breath and turned to face her husband. Could he be playing some game with her? Punishing her for asking to leave?
“I am ready,” she said. She saw his cat’s gaze fix on the comb. Then he looked at the food taster, and she remembered; it was not hers to take. Whatever his thoughts on the subject, Lotor made no demur. Instead he held out a hand to her.
“Let us go.”
Lotor was a man with a purpose. A grim purpose. She had not often seen this aspect of him, especially since they were wed. He escorted her directly to his ship with swift strides, bundled her into the cockpit and slid gracefully in beside her. He set his ship in motion and piloted it out of the bay into the darkness.
At first she felt awkward in such tight confines with him. Maybe she should feel afraid, a wife who had displeased and was now being shuttled to a destination where she would not need a change of clothes. But even now she could not summon any fear of him, and if he could pretend she was a parcel to be delivered then she could pretend that he was part of the interior.
It wasn’t long before she found herself settling against him as she had done so many times before, soothed by his silence and motions that had the familiarity of ritual as he navigated the turbulent atmosphere, and then prepared to jump. She closed her eyes and let herself pretend that this was just another journey like many others they had taken together. There was no future, no past, only the present moment.
***
She woke to the sound of her name and a gentle touch on her hair. The last thing she remembered clearly was seeing Lotor set a course for Arus. After that, the tension of the last week had taken its toll, pulling her into a deep sleep. Allura stirred and sat up. The first thing she noticed was that she was now curled on Lotor’s lap rather than at his side. She stilled, her hands braced against his broad chest, her face scarcely a hand’s breadth from his own. She found herself remembering the way he had kissed her earlier.
The food taster hissed from where it was hidden under her hair and felt the prick of its tiny claws against her nape. Feeling flushed, Allura tore her gaze from his and sat back.
He had kissed her, yes, and then announced her immediate departure from his side.
Her moment of self-indulgence was over. Certainly there was no trace of the lover she remembered in the Prince Imperial’s guarded amber gaze. Allura took a deep breath; it was time to focus on the future.
She looked away, tilted her head up. Above her Arus turned in space, half of it blazing with every color under the sun, the other gleaming and mysterious in the light of its moons.
Keith.
It seemed she was returning to Arus, perhaps to stay, but for now she could feel nothing but a hollow ache. She couldn’t grieve, she just didn’t know. Was he in some filthy hole of a cell, left behind by the person he had tried to save?
For a horrified moment she entertained the idea that Keith had taken Black Lion, that both of them were lost. Surely Keith wouldn’t have risked it? She was so horrified that she actually turned to ask Lotor about it, before remembering his repeated refusal to discuss the matter.
“I believe I mentioned conditions,” Lotor said, into the silence.
Allura nodded, a stiff bob of her head. A wild part of her stirred, a part that wanted to scream at him, to force the answers she needed. She lowered her lashes, afraid her emotions would show in her eyes. A tantrum could only delay the moment of their parting, and she had no interest in doing that.
“Firstly, you will give your word to return to my side whenever I should ask.” He sounded bored, as though he didn’t expect that to happen anytime soon, perhaps ever. From beneath her lashes she saw him turn his head away to look out into the void, his attention already far from here.
“Yes, I promise,” she said.
Just when she began to wonder if there was going to be a ‘secondly’ he said, “Oh, and there will be none of these lovers you spoke of. You will not be taking any in the time we are apart.”
How dare he? “Will you be promising the same?”
Now she had his full attention. Allura wished her words unsaid as she flushed under his interested regard. “Is that your wish?” His tone was all politeness.
She stared into his cold, beautiful face, no longer caring if he saw every bit of the thwarted fury that churned inside of her. He wasn’t the only one who could refuse to discuss something.
“And what is my word worth to you, Allura?” he said, when she remained silent.
Allura was the first to look away.
“Your promise?”
She turned back to him, almost vibrating with rage. “You have it.”
“And you have mine,” he said smoothly.
“Will there be anything else?” she said.
“That will do for now.” He turned his attention to his ship.
Too soon, and yet not soon enough, Lotor was landing in front of her childhood home. She had seen Black Lion first, massive and watchful, such a relief. And then her friends-it felt as though she had lived a lifetime since she had last seen them-they dashed out into the sunlight as soon as the ship touched down, Lance, Pidge, Kei- Allura stared. She blinked and then stared some more.
“Oh, look,” Lotor drawled just above her ear, “If it isn’t my very favorite lion pilot, Captain Kogane.”
Deliberately misinterpreting her shocked silence, he continued, his silky purr just as false as it was conciliatory, “Forgive me, Allura. I mean, my second favorite lion pilot.”
On to Chapter 23
Previous Chapters Here
Chapter 22
“May I borrow this, My Dear?”
The lady simpered as Lotor plucked the sparkling comb from her hair. Tiny golden bells shimmered and rang.
“It's time I was leaving,” he announced to the sighing dismay of his adoring retinue. His father's victory celebrations were over, but there was always a gathering or two among his courtiers and the Prince Imperial was a welcome guest even when he arrived late and left early.
“Group hug?” He opened his arms and was engulfed in perfumed embraces.
He made a point of humming a happy tune as he entered his quarters.
The stillness as he entered the space he called home was a contrast to the gossipy, raucous atmosphere of the party. It was a contrast he usually liked, but tonight the silence seemed more reproachful than serene.
Or perhaps that was just his wife.
Allura looked achingly beautiful reclined on one of his divans, but not for his benefit. There were no members of his fan club here. She pointedly turned a page.
The sight of her stirred a volatile mix of emotions, but he let none of them show. He tossed the jewelled comb onto the cushion next to her as he strolled by. The bells sang while in flight and then landed with a discordant note, a token for a neglected wife. The food tester hissed at him from its perch near its mistress, revealing a respectable maw for a tiny creature, complete with its double row of shocking blue teeth. A superstitious person might think the little creature reflected its mistress's feelings, but more likely it just disliked the strange scents.
He resisted the urge to show the creature some real fangs.
His forced cheer disappeared as he entered the shadowy confines of their bedchamber, if it could really be called ‘theirs’ at the moment. He stopped in the center of the room and scowled at the empty bed.
***
Allura stared at the bit of priceless jewelry that lay next to her on the divan.
She’d known from the beginning that it would end this way. She’d known that he would tire of her, guessed that he would become cruel and cold. She’d even predicted the reason. She’d known that he would react badly as soon as she’d shown herself to be a person rather than a trophy, a person with inconvenient thoughts and feelings of her own. She had known. Her only question in those early days had been whether or not she would survive his displeasure. She had survived. But somewhere along the way she had gotten lost.
The golden glitter of the hair ornament seemed to mock her. She snatched it up, rising emotion carrying her to her feet. It was time to get found.
“My Lord.”
Her voice behind him made him start, it was so unexpected.
It seemed as though it had been forever since he had heard her voice. Another lifetime perhaps. Her voice, her words were husky with suppressed emotion. It affected him as if she had stroked him from head to heels-and that made him as angry as if she had slapped him across the face. Lotor set his teeth.
It was the first time she'd willingly been in the same room with him for many days. When he turned to look at her, he saw that she had the comb clutched tight in one hand, and her eyes were bright with tears. He felt a pang when he saw them, but it did not move him as much as it might have done. Her tears were not over him were they?
She had tried a few times after the night of Kogane's little visit to get him to tell her what had actually happened to her ‘favorite’ captain. Was he imprisoned? Was he dead? But he'd refused to repeat himself on the matter. He had told her what had happened. If she wanted to suffer due to her own lack of faith, then let her.
Allura did not make him wait long to find out what was on her mind. “If you've tired of me, My Lord, perhaps... Perhaps you should send me to Arus to live.”
***
Allura watched Lotor’s expression change at her request. The change was not encouraging. She had called him beautiful, and he was, as cold and lovely as some legendary prince of the fey. At the moment, he looked every bit as dangerous. Allura clutched the comb until it bit into her hand. The pain focused her, kept her from bursting into tears like a child-or a woman in the early stages of pregnancy.
You knew that he would tire of you, she told herself. You knew that he would weary of someone who didn’t worship and approve his every move. But something had gone very wrong; her foresight hadn’t prevented the pain.
“That's out of the question,” he said, obviously rejecting the suggestion without thought. “Your place is here.”
“Lotor, think-think of the babe.” She gestured around her. “Even you have to admit this is no place for an infant-no life for a child. Will they be returning to me with poisoned wounds and lazon burns as well?” And smelling like a harem, she might have added.
Lotor looked his most imperious. “I did not say the babe’s place was here.”
***
It had occurred to him recently, that perhaps Allura did not want a child. True, she seemed to like children a great deal in general, but in specific the child of a monster might not be quite so dear.
Perhaps it was from such bitter thoughts that his words came. It hardly mattered, he regretted them as soon as he saw their effect.
Allura stared at him, her breath was coming quick and shallow. She had called him a monster. Now she looked as if she believed it.
Lotor did not do panic. But the feeling that came over him then might have been very like to it.
“Allura. No. I would not separate you from our son. I swear it.”
Lotor held her gaze, willing her to believe him. “I would never separate you from our son.” He hesitated then, not from doubt, but because the words were so foreign to him. If he had ever pleaded for anything before, he could not recall it. His hands curled into fists.
“Please. Tell me you believe me.”
The words came out rather stilted and odd. He cursed himself. It sounded like they were forced out of him at knifepoint, hardly persuasive.
But, they had the desired effect. As he watched, Allura blinked and much of the tension eased from her frame. Not all, but much. She looked wary, but nodded.
The silence was awkward, but Lotor was too relieved to care.
He stared, as hungry for the sight of her as if they had been separated for weeks rather than estranged for days and by his own desire.
And that was when the tone sounded. Someone was at his door.
He hesitated for a moment, then strode past her. It was almost certainly an envoy from his father, and the last thing he needed right now was for Zarkon to tire of ceremony and bellow his summons through the comm system again.
A few words with the messenger confirmed it. His father wanted his presence immediately.
He waited until the man left before exiting himself.
As he set out for the throne room his thoughts stayed behind.
He must do something about the situation, though he knew not what. Something other than his current brilliant strategy which he liked to call 'making things worse'. It would save his wife the trouble of stabbing him while he slept, after all, and him the trouble of deserving it. He winced as he remembered the physic's instruction not to distress his wife.
Whatever he was going to do, he needed to do it quickly. Time was running out. Soon the fleet would depart and him with it.
It would be nice if he could summon some enthusiasm for being separate from her for an extended period, but he could not. Even at his most angry, he had still craved her, and most of his anger had now deserted him. Which led to the most important reason: he was in the right perhaps, but he was beginning to find being in the right to be very tiresome.
Then there was the question of where she was to live while he was away. As he walked, he considered-and discarded-the options. There had been a time when that would have taken longer. Now his requirements were much more strict. Admes could be trusted to keep excellent watch over her on Nephalem, and she would receive the best medical care, but it was difficult to contemplate leaving her where she had come so close to disaster, and Nephalem... Nephalem was a little too much fun.
Then there was Arus. Lotor grimaced. There was no more loyal or effective protection than what she would have there. He thought of Kogane’s determined face as he fought for his princess-a little too loyal.
He had reached no conclusion by the time he walked through the doors of the throne room.
The first thing Lotor noticed was that his king was in a very good mood.
“Ah son, I’m glad to see you are on time for once. The Princess Valis and her delegation should be here any moment.”
Valis. His father had mentioned an offer of marriage from the Arach Empire.
“Get ready to meet your new stepmother! Leading those campaigns myself made me feel like a new man. I am well on my way to closing negotiations on my own behalf.”
Oh, Hundred Hells. And the seven wretched Urdemons that spawned them, and all the molten torments within. Lotor glared at his father, incensed.
Zarkon smiled back, well pleased with himself.
Valis would try to kill him eventually; his father knew this as well as he did.
He should be safe enough until she had an alternative heir and perhaps a spare. And if Zarkon failed to provide her with them in a timely manner, she might come looking for him to do so. She might even try to manipulate him into challenging his father. It was now clear that he might have no choice if he wished to maintain a hold on the throne. So much for sharing power.
And then it was time for him to turn and face the approaching delegation, to smile as it parted to reveal a composed young woman in palest lavender. Her eyes were also a pale lavender which gave her a dreamy, unfocused look. She smiled back. He held out his hand for hers and accompanied her up the many steps to his father’s throne.
He was still smiling as they reached the top, the Princess’s gloved fingers resting against his gauntleted palm. The polite pressure made a murderous tension prickle between his shoulder blades and crawl up the back of his neck.
He would be safe enough for now. Allura would be on her ‘Must Die’ list under the heading of ‘Soonest’. Another fact he was certain his father was well aware of. After all, there was no advantage to loose ends like the one that was already deepening the curve of Allura’s belly.
***
Allura stood up when she heard Lotor return a few hours later. Her latest attempt to talk to her husband hadn’t exactly gone well, but not so badly that there was no point in trying again. She wasn’t really sure what she was going to say.
She smoothed her skirt as he strode into the room. “My Lord?”
His response shocked her. He strode right up to her and lifted her against him. Her deep gasp of surprise pressed her more closely yet, and then her surprise shattered into confusion as a warm mouth pressed to hers. He kissed her as though he’d been waiting an eternity; he kissed her as though he would never have the chance again. There was passion, but not hurried, not rough.
Allura saw then, in blinding epiphany how she had lost her way. He kissed her as though she were the most precious thing in the universe. He touched her, and she felt the most shocking pleasure; he held her and everything dimmed and fell away except for the host of temptations that was this man. Her fingers clenched, testing the hard sleek muscle beneath his clothes.
For a surprised instant she was plunged back into a time when his embrace was a haven and his regard something more than a spoiled prince’s whim.
Then a different memory, silent and pale, bobbed to the surface. It was a memory of the slave Lotor had executed in front of her, of the fear and defiance on his face just before Lotor’s blade took him through the heart. Only this time the man wore Keith’s face.
Delicious tension lurched into nausea.
She made a distressed sound and began to struggle. Lotor released her, almost too suddenly. She staggered back and clapped a hand over her mouth. Their eyes met for one fraught moment, and then she fled for the bathing room.
***
Allura splashed some cold water on her face, and then carefully blotted it dry with a soft towel. She hadn’t actually thrown up, but she probably would have felt better if she had.
So much for her hopes for a productive chat, she thought, found herself flushing at the memory of what had taken place instead. Well, third time was the charm? She took a deep breath and ventured forth.
Lotor was not in the bedroom. She peered into the main chamber. He was still standing where she had left him, seemingly lost in thought.
He looked up when she entered, regarding her so dispassionately that Allura wondered if she had completely imagined their embrace.
“I have reconsidered your suggestion,” he said. “You will be returning to Arus.”
Allura was speechless. Then, perversely, she felt horribly rejected.
“If,” Lotor continued, “you agree to certain conditions.”
“And what are those conditions?” Allura asked after a moment.
“I'm still considering them.”
What else could she do but agree? “Very well.” Then, “When will I be leaving?”
“Now.”
“Now! I-” Allura hesitated, looking around.
It seemed she was going to depart this place as abruptly as it had once become her home. She spotted a mound of ruby plumes among some gilded cushions; the bells on the golden hair comb chimed faintly as she hurried to scoop up the little creature. Her lion key was already tucked in her bodice; she had taken to carrying it there. For some reason she found it comforting next to her skin. Allura took a deep breath and turned to face her husband. Could he be playing some game with her? Punishing her for asking to leave?
“I am ready,” she said. She saw his cat’s gaze fix on the comb. Then he looked at the food taster, and she remembered; it was not hers to take. Whatever his thoughts on the subject, Lotor made no demur. Instead he held out a hand to her.
“Let us go.”
Lotor was a man with a purpose. A grim purpose. She had not often seen this aspect of him, especially since they were wed. He escorted her directly to his ship with swift strides, bundled her into the cockpit and slid gracefully in beside her. He set his ship in motion and piloted it out of the bay into the darkness.
At first she felt awkward in such tight confines with him. Maybe she should feel afraid, a wife who had displeased and was now being shuttled to a destination where she would not need a change of clothes. But even now she could not summon any fear of him, and if he could pretend she was a parcel to be delivered then she could pretend that he was part of the interior.
It wasn’t long before she found herself settling against him as she had done so many times before, soothed by his silence and motions that had the familiarity of ritual as he navigated the turbulent atmosphere, and then prepared to jump. She closed her eyes and let herself pretend that this was just another journey like many others they had taken together. There was no future, no past, only the present moment.
***
She woke to the sound of her name and a gentle touch on her hair. The last thing she remembered clearly was seeing Lotor set a course for Arus. After that, the tension of the last week had taken its toll, pulling her into a deep sleep. Allura stirred and sat up. The first thing she noticed was that she was now curled on Lotor’s lap rather than at his side. She stilled, her hands braced against his broad chest, her face scarcely a hand’s breadth from his own. She found herself remembering the way he had kissed her earlier.
The food taster hissed from where it was hidden under her hair and felt the prick of its tiny claws against her nape. Feeling flushed, Allura tore her gaze from his and sat back.
He had kissed her, yes, and then announced her immediate departure from his side.
Her moment of self-indulgence was over. Certainly there was no trace of the lover she remembered in the Prince Imperial’s guarded amber gaze. Allura took a deep breath; it was time to focus on the future.
She looked away, tilted her head up. Above her Arus turned in space, half of it blazing with every color under the sun, the other gleaming and mysterious in the light of its moons.
Keith.
It seemed she was returning to Arus, perhaps to stay, but for now she could feel nothing but a hollow ache. She couldn’t grieve, she just didn’t know. Was he in some filthy hole of a cell, left behind by the person he had tried to save?
For a horrified moment she entertained the idea that Keith had taken Black Lion, that both of them were lost. Surely Keith wouldn’t have risked it? She was so horrified that she actually turned to ask Lotor about it, before remembering his repeated refusal to discuss the matter.
“I believe I mentioned conditions,” Lotor said, into the silence.
Allura nodded, a stiff bob of her head. A wild part of her stirred, a part that wanted to scream at him, to force the answers she needed. She lowered her lashes, afraid her emotions would show in her eyes. A tantrum could only delay the moment of their parting, and she had no interest in doing that.
“Firstly, you will give your word to return to my side whenever I should ask.” He sounded bored, as though he didn’t expect that to happen anytime soon, perhaps ever. From beneath her lashes she saw him turn his head away to look out into the void, his attention already far from here.
“Yes, I promise,” she said.
Just when she began to wonder if there was going to be a ‘secondly’ he said, “Oh, and there will be none of these lovers you spoke of. You will not be taking any in the time we are apart.”
How dare he? “Will you be promising the same?”
Now she had his full attention. Allura wished her words unsaid as she flushed under his interested regard. “Is that your wish?” His tone was all politeness.
She stared into his cold, beautiful face, no longer caring if he saw every bit of the thwarted fury that churned inside of her. He wasn’t the only one who could refuse to discuss something.
“And what is my word worth to you, Allura?” he said, when she remained silent.
Allura was the first to look away.
“Your promise?”
She turned back to him, almost vibrating with rage. “You have it.”
“And you have mine,” he said smoothly.
“Will there be anything else?” she said.
“That will do for now.” He turned his attention to his ship.
Too soon, and yet not soon enough, Lotor was landing in front of her childhood home. She had seen Black Lion first, massive and watchful, such a relief. And then her friends-it felt as though she had lived a lifetime since she had last seen them-they dashed out into the sunlight as soon as the ship touched down, Lance, Pidge, Kei- Allura stared. She blinked and then stared some more.
“Oh, look,” Lotor drawled just above her ear, “If it isn’t my very favorite lion pilot, Captain Kogane.”
Deliberately misinterpreting her shocked silence, he continued, his silky purr just as false as it was conciliatory, “Forgive me, Allura. I mean, my second favorite lion pilot.”
On to Chapter 23