fear is the heart of love
what am i sposed to do? last night i was talking to my mom after dance. i had taken my sisters dance class as a make-up and it...was well interesting. i felt really uncomforable with the dance it was just too uh idn sexy for a 16 year old well...me to do. and my mom asked me how i did and i told her or whatever and then she asked how amy did and i sed "fine i guess" and she sed "oh of course" like i just really felt that she didnt give 2 craps of wether or not i even attempted to do it. i just cant seem to find something that i can call my own ya know? my sister has dancing. my sister has music, my sisters has sports, poetry, writing, drawing, freaking everything. i dont want to follow her footsteps though its so hard becuase ive been dancing forever, i do marching band WHICH IS TOO A SPORT YOU DUMB BASTARDS!!!!! i write poetry, write, draw, everything she does i do...but she does it 3 thousand times better. and i just feel like... why should i do it if no ones gonna care...if everyones just going to look past what i tried and say "oh yeh amy did this she was amazing" graeme says i should stop comparing myself to her. but idn maybe i should but im just going to end up making some excuse up for me to keep doing it.
and then like i hate when poeple tell me to do things 10 times...if they do i wont do it. not cause im lazy but cause you pissed me off so now im gonna piss you off. if you tell me once, yeh ill do it. it mite not be right away but it will get gone within that day or hour. its just so annoying!!!!!!
i finally found my camera. and ive finally written another poem. but this poem didnt count becuase it was just an assignment for english it had no meaning behind it. and i didnt put any real feelings into it. it came out good. but it was just empty.
anyway...heather and vinny are going job hunging tomorrow, then hopefully me and graeme will hang out again. yes...again lol him and i hung out on monday. we actually hung out. no moovies and no distractions lol it was fun. ive found i laugh just as much with him in person as i do on the fone lol
saturday was roxys 17th birthday, me amy and mike took her to see franz ferdinan and death cab for cutie. twas awsomeness as assumed lol. we got back at like 130. and that day i had white castle for the first time....greasy....wierd....but yeh sunday was peters 16th birthday. today roxy got her lisence. kim and i got a few people together ( rinni, richi, rique, alex and kevin) to go to the boardwalk for peter. kim drove me pete rinni and richi and we blind folded him so he didnt know where we were taking him. it was so fun lol then when i got home i went to the gym with mommy then came home, moll and tara picked me up and we went to the mall, then came back here...and now im bored
ugh....easter.....ugh...i have to spend it with....the grandparents and joe ( code word for biological father) yeh...but irene amy and miek are going to be there yay!!! so more crappy stupid talk of how he misses me or whatever YAY!!!!!! YAY FOR IRENE!!!! lol ::yawn::
me and kev. had a little like talk or whatever today. we both were upset for the same reason...nothing. it was those moments in time where you just get really upset but you dont know what about. yeh...idn sometimes its just good to be serious.
yeh well. i think ill like idn go do something yeh...ok...
FAVORITE SONG!!!!! YAY
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
and then like i hate when poeple tell me to do things 10 times...if they do i wont do it. not cause im lazy but cause you pissed me off so now im gonna piss you off. if you tell me once, yeh ill do it. it mite not be right away but it will get gone within that day or hour. its just so annoying!!!!!!
i finally found my camera. and ive finally written another poem. but this poem didnt count becuase it was just an assignment for english it had no meaning behind it. and i didnt put any real feelings into it. it came out good. but it was just empty.
anyway...heather and vinny are going job hunging tomorrow, then hopefully me and graeme will hang out again. yes...again lol him and i hung out on monday. we actually hung out. no moovies and no distractions lol it was fun. ive found i laugh just as much with him in person as i do on the fone lol
saturday was roxys 17th birthday, me amy and mike took her to see franz ferdinan and death cab for cutie. twas awsomeness as assumed lol. we got back at like 130. and that day i had white castle for the first time....greasy....wierd....but yeh sunday was peters 16th birthday. today roxy got her lisence. kim and i got a few people together ( rinni, richi, rique, alex and kevin) to go to the boardwalk for peter. kim drove me pete rinni and richi and we blind folded him so he didnt know where we were taking him. it was so fun lol then when i got home i went to the gym with mommy then came home, moll and tara picked me up and we went to the mall, then came back here...and now im bored
ugh....easter.....ugh...i have to spend it with....the grandparents and joe ( code word for biological father) yeh...but irene amy and miek are going to be there yay!!! so more crappy stupid talk of how he misses me or whatever YAY!!!!!! YAY FOR IRENE!!!! lol ::yawn::
me and kev. had a little like talk or whatever today. we both were upset for the same reason...nothing. it was those moments in time where you just get really upset but you dont know what about. yeh...idn sometimes its just good to be serious.
yeh well. i think ill like idn go do something yeh...ok...
FAVORITE SONG!!!!! YAY
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark