The Results Are In...
Dear Tuney,
Please don't think I underestimate the extent of my good fortune. You are far and away the best thing to happen to me in a long time. So it may seem callous that I'm about to indulge in unabashed exultation at your expense. Please bear with me.
I do sincerely regret the fact that, no matter how vivid the reality, your perception of the sunset will always be filtered through the stark beauty of an Ansel Adams print. I'm sorry that Christmas decorations appear monochromatic, and that the creepy red-eye effect in vampire movies inevitably falls short of the filmmaker's garish intentions.
I'm sorry, dear--I truly, truly am.
But considering my inescapable tendency toward hair color disasters, I can't help but appreciate the rengade chromosone that rendered you color blind.
Now--if only my landlord shared that tendency!
(In other words--I'm off to bleachinate the bathroom, m'dear!)
Please don't think I underestimate the extent of my good fortune. You are far and away the best thing to happen to me in a long time. So it may seem callous that I'm about to indulge in unabashed exultation at your expense. Please bear with me.
I do sincerely regret the fact that, no matter how vivid the reality, your perception of the sunset will always be filtered through the stark beauty of an Ansel Adams print. I'm sorry that Christmas decorations appear monochromatic, and that the creepy red-eye effect in vampire movies inevitably falls short of the filmmaker's garish intentions.
I'm sorry, dear--I truly, truly am.
But considering my inescapable tendency toward hair color disasters, I can't help but appreciate the rengade chromosone that rendered you color blind.
Now--if only my landlord shared that tendency!
(In other words--I'm off to bleachinate the bathroom, m'dear!)