focus.
i've been feeling entirely retrospective lately. i know its early, it not being even thanksgiving yet, but there's the end of the year combined with the end of my being 19, and the possibility of msu coming up, and i guess disregarding all of that, i feel like i've made a leap lately and just simply.. changed.
i refuse to believe that anything in my life shouldn't have happened. part of me is, i'm sure, afraid of taking accountability for the less intelligent decisions or proud moments, but for the most part i'm just obsessed with the idea of process, and growth. i've been realizing more and more that i've been plagued by guilt, and in the last year or 2 i've also considered myself to have one of the more severe cases of commitment phobia. now that i'm thinking clearly, i think those are more accurately described as low self confidence and simple disinterest.
i'm still afraid that my thoughts will be misconstrued, but i'm working on owning up to myself. there are worse things than to ask for what you want.
i refuse to believe that anything in my life shouldn't have happened. part of me is, i'm sure, afraid of taking accountability for the less intelligent decisions or proud moments, but for the most part i'm just obsessed with the idea of process, and growth. i've been realizing more and more that i've been plagued by guilt, and in the last year or 2 i've also considered myself to have one of the more severe cases of commitment phobia. now that i'm thinking clearly, i think those are more accurately described as low self confidence and simple disinterest.
i'm still afraid that my thoughts will be misconstrued, but i'm working on owning up to myself. there are worse things than to ask for what you want.