Private entry.
I just don't know what to say or do. I really don't.
I feel guilty and sad and angry at the same time.
When I first got to know her I really did not like her. Not at all. For one, Ron flirted with her. For two, Theo was in love with her. It wasn't fair. What was so great about this girl? She didn't have the grades I did. She hadn't helped to save the world like I had. But I suppose she had more spirit than I could ever hope to have.
I became friends with Theo and, after the accident, I tried to become friends with her. And I think I managed it. True, it was not the usual friendship, but it was still one. She helped me to come out of my shell, of sorts. I wish I could have helped her in some way too.
And now she's just gone. Forever.
And what Theodore must be going through, I cannot imagine. It must be truly horrific.
And then I feel guilty. Sure, he has other friends he can rely on if he choses to. And, officially, we are no longer friends. Were we ever in the first place? But of course the answer to that is yes. He was there for me at a time when no one else was. Last summer, when Ron was in hospital, it was him alone that made me have something to eat and that showed some concern for me. But I wish I could be there for him in some small way. I acted rashly and was just cross with the world when I last saw him. I cannot stop thinking about that frightful encounter. I was rude and unjust. But he has probably not given it a second thought. Of course, he has other things on his mind. But I just feel so guilty. I wish I could do something to lessen the pain he must be going through somehow. But I can think of nothing.
There is nothing I can do.
I feel guilty and sad and angry at the same time.
When I first got to know her I really did not like her. Not at all. For one, Ron flirted with her. For two, Theo was in love with her. It wasn't fair. What was so great about this girl? She didn't have the grades I did. She hadn't helped to save the world like I had. But I suppose she had more spirit than I could ever hope to have.
I became friends with Theo and, after the accident, I tried to become friends with her. And I think I managed it. True, it was not the usual friendship, but it was still one. She helped me to come out of my shell, of sorts. I wish I could have helped her in some way too.
And now she's just gone. Forever.
And what Theodore must be going through, I cannot imagine. It must be truly horrific.
And then I feel guilty. Sure, he has other friends he can rely on if he choses to. And, officially, we are no longer friends. Were we ever in the first place? But of course the answer to that is yes. He was there for me at a time when no one else was. Last summer, when Ron was in hospital, it was him alone that made me have something to eat and that showed some concern for me. But I wish I could be there for him in some small way. I acted rashly and was just cross with the world when I last saw him. I cannot stop thinking about that frightful encounter. I was rude and unjust. But he has probably not given it a second thought. Of course, he has other things on his mind. But I just feel so guilty. I wish I could do something to lessen the pain he must be going through somehow. But I can think of nothing.
There is nothing I can do.