EM Prompt: Guilt
She was running late and couldn’t find her necklace. Again. Last time Bill had returned it to her without anyone noticing. This time? Maybe she wouldn’t be so lucky. With a sigh she stood and brushed off the knees of her slacks. Ran a hand down the length of the bedspread on the freshly made hotel bed. Why she felt the need to make the bed after their midday romp was beyond her. Habit most likely. You have an untidy bed; you make it.
***
Dinner with the whole family. Smiling and passing the potatoes and jello around the table. What did Ben do at school today? Wade? Margie told everyone that Lester said his first words. Nikki complaining that she needs a larger monthly budget. Kids chattering and trying to hide the fact that they aren’t eating their vegetables, not an easy feat when you have three mothers watching you. Afterwards, doing the dishes she said good night to Bill, to Nikki. Watched as they walked across the backyards into Nikki’s house. It was her night with him. What was Margie saying about Oprah? Barb just nodded distractedly.
***
She’s in bed, alone. The house is quiet, perhaps a little bit too much so. Then the phone rang. Without saying anything she picked up the receiver and smiled. It was Bill. Their whispered conversation made her feel naughty and seductive. Riske and bold. Special. He was hers again, all hers and she didn’t have to share him with the other two. Not when they cheated like this. She was getting all the extra time and attention she deserved. She had him first.
***
It had to end. It was wrong, a lie. She wasn’t entitled to the sneaking around, wasn't above the other two women. She had agreed to this, the lifestyle. The Way. This is how things were supposed to be, God’s plan for his people. She told herself these things as she thought about how to tell her husband that they had to end their affair. Told herself that this is what she believed in her heart of hearts to be true.
But it wasn’t. And that’s where the guilt came from. She felt like Margie and Nikki stole her husband from her. Took away her right to be loved, special and sacred in his eyes. It made her feel selfish for wanting these things back. Wanting him all to herself. She was guilty of wanting a monogamous relationship with her husband. The realization was enough to make her soul ache some days.
***
Dinner with the whole family. Smiling and passing the potatoes and jello around the table. What did Ben do at school today? Wade? Margie told everyone that Lester said his first words. Nikki complaining that she needs a larger monthly budget. Kids chattering and trying to hide the fact that they aren’t eating their vegetables, not an easy feat when you have three mothers watching you. Afterwards, doing the dishes she said good night to Bill, to Nikki. Watched as they walked across the backyards into Nikki’s house. It was her night with him. What was Margie saying about Oprah? Barb just nodded distractedly.
***
She’s in bed, alone. The house is quiet, perhaps a little bit too much so. Then the phone rang. Without saying anything she picked up the receiver and smiled. It was Bill. Their whispered conversation made her feel naughty and seductive. Riske and bold. Special. He was hers again, all hers and she didn’t have to share him with the other two. Not when they cheated like this. She was getting all the extra time and attention she deserved. She had him first.
***
It had to end. It was wrong, a lie. She wasn’t entitled to the sneaking around, wasn't above the other two women. She had agreed to this, the lifestyle. The Way. This is how things were supposed to be, God’s plan for his people. She told herself these things as she thought about how to tell her husband that they had to end their affair. Told herself that this is what she believed in her heart of hearts to be true.
But it wasn’t. And that’s where the guilt came from. She felt like Margie and Nikki stole her husband from her. Took away her right to be loved, special and sacred in his eyes. It made her feel selfish for wanting these things back. Wanting him all to herself. She was guilty of wanting a monogamous relationship with her husband. The realization was enough to make her soul ache some days.