Insomnostalgia
Man, I am tired. Probably a result of not sleeping when I ought to. It's intentionally done, though. I think I stopped updating because I forgot what the posterity element of the journal felt like, if that makes any sense. I'm updating now mostly reflexively. I found myself looking through my old entries the other day and so here I am again, but with nothing much to say.
I sort of feel as though the summer is a fever dream that's going to dissolve into a rough case of the chills at some point down the road. I'm not certain whether I prefer the Chicago weather or not. Living here, though, makes me want to visit a desert at some point. Of course, I haven't been back to NC since I arrived here, so that would be nice as well; after all, I do miss my friends.
My old boss actually offered me a substantial raise to go back and take up my former job and though it's enticing and would have been the culmination of the dream job at one point... I still hesitate. I just don't feel like going back with nothing would be a proper end to my phase of wandering West; if a phase is what it really is, in fact.
I find I'm reminding myself more often of late that I've known people through livejournal and other corners of the internet for longer than any of my offline friends have lasted me. It's interesting. At the very least I can say that here, people don't outgrow the readiness for proximity to one another. It's something. I think it's deceptively simple to decide to never speak to someone again out there.
Believe it or not, though I've always used my journal as a rambling post, I think it served to assist my focus a lot more than I've given it credit for so doing. It's not a needful thing in my life, though, which is probably why I'm always shrugging it off. Still, like anything, I find I miss people I know through this channel. So, if you're out there, it's good to have been nearer to you for another moment in time.
I sort of feel as though the summer is a fever dream that's going to dissolve into a rough case of the chills at some point down the road. I'm not certain whether I prefer the Chicago weather or not. Living here, though, makes me want to visit a desert at some point. Of course, I haven't been back to NC since I arrived here, so that would be nice as well; after all, I do miss my friends.
My old boss actually offered me a substantial raise to go back and take up my former job and though it's enticing and would have been the culmination of the dream job at one point... I still hesitate. I just don't feel like going back with nothing would be a proper end to my phase of wandering West; if a phase is what it really is, in fact.
I find I'm reminding myself more often of late that I've known people through livejournal and other corners of the internet for longer than any of my offline friends have lasted me. It's interesting. At the very least I can say that here, people don't outgrow the readiness for proximity to one another. It's something. I think it's deceptively simple to decide to never speak to someone again out there.
Believe it or not, though I've always used my journal as a rambling post, I think it served to assist my focus a lot more than I've given it credit for so doing. It's not a needful thing in my life, though, which is probably why I'm always shrugging it off. Still, like anything, I find I miss people I know through this channel. So, if you're out there, it's good to have been nearer to you for another moment in time.