(no subject)
I'm so frustrated with my family.
Not my mom or my dad this time, but my Aunt Sarah.
We've grown close in the past few months, and it really hurts me that she can't bring herself to accept all of me, even if she doesn't agree with it.
The other day we were on the phone, we were talking normally, and I was talking about all the neat things that are going on in my life. Being done with my CNA class this weekend, getting a new job, possibly getting my license soon, and finally finding someone I really like.
I told her that I had found someone I really like, and the first thing that came out of her mouth was her disappointment in the fact that it was a boy. I let it slide, but it was still a hurtful thing to hear. I called her later today, and in the most calm, non-accusing way, I said to her "When you said that yesterday, it hurt my feelings." I used all the "I statements" and communicated in the most adult way possible. It took her none more thatn 2 seconds for her to turn it around, accusing me of wanting to start fights and that it was my fault for "being too sensitive" and I was shoving my homosexuality in her face. Even though it was her who raised her voice first and her who started yelling, her who did ALL of the name calling, and her who did the accusing. It made me SO mad, but even more hurt.
All I wanted was "I didn't mean to be so harsh, I'm sorry. However, I'm just not ready to hear about that aspect of your life." Could she act that adult about that situation, no.
Perhaps that's the thing that frustrates me most.
I'm seeing how she had to treat me as a child, and I'm seeing that now that I'm the adult, I'm having to talk to her like that. I really expected better. I'm so disappointed in her. It's weird how when you're finally grown, you realize, no one truly is.
I saw how clearly it was her issue, and how quickly she had projected the blame onto me, so that she didn't have to reflect and deal with it. How can they not understand when they do this?
Why does it seem that I'm the only one who sees it?
Not my mom or my dad this time, but my Aunt Sarah.
We've grown close in the past few months, and it really hurts me that she can't bring herself to accept all of me, even if she doesn't agree with it.
The other day we were on the phone, we were talking normally, and I was talking about all the neat things that are going on in my life. Being done with my CNA class this weekend, getting a new job, possibly getting my license soon, and finally finding someone I really like.
I told her that I had found someone I really like, and the first thing that came out of her mouth was her disappointment in the fact that it was a boy. I let it slide, but it was still a hurtful thing to hear. I called her later today, and in the most calm, non-accusing way, I said to her "When you said that yesterday, it hurt my feelings." I used all the "I statements" and communicated in the most adult way possible. It took her none more thatn 2 seconds for her to turn it around, accusing me of wanting to start fights and that it was my fault for "being too sensitive" and I was shoving my homosexuality in her face. Even though it was her who raised her voice first and her who started yelling, her who did ALL of the name calling, and her who did the accusing. It made me SO mad, but even more hurt.
All I wanted was "I didn't mean to be so harsh, I'm sorry. However, I'm just not ready to hear about that aspect of your life." Could she act that adult about that situation, no.
Perhaps that's the thing that frustrates me most.
I'm seeing how she had to treat me as a child, and I'm seeing that now that I'm the adult, I'm having to talk to her like that. I really expected better. I'm so disappointed in her. It's weird how when you're finally grown, you realize, no one truly is.
I saw how clearly it was her issue, and how quickly she had projected the blame onto me, so that she didn't have to reflect and deal with it. How can they not understand when they do this?
Why does it seem that I'm the only one who sees it?