- For 921227!
Title: Why are you like this?
Recipient: 921227
Group(s)/Pairing(s): T-ara; Jiyeon/Hwayoung
Rating: Pg
Warning(s): n/a
Summary: Jiyeon has known what she wanted all of her life, until Hwayoung bursts into it with a smile brighter than the sun. She’s never been so annoyed in her life.
Notes: I really hope you like this and that it wasn't too cheesy, my dear recipient!
Jiyeon had been on uneven ground since she moved into the dorm room the day before classes and found that her roommate’s stuff was already all over half of the room, but she herself was gone. Her roommate had a loft, a chair with stuffed animals. She had pictures of her and her twin lining the wall underneath it and next to her desk. Jiyeon took one look at all of the nice stuff and very suddenly felt a surge of dislike whirl in her chest. For some reason, this sudden invasion of privacy caused her to balk, to take a step back and stumble and nearly drop the box she was holding.
She slid her box on the empty bed in the corner and picked up the packet of information about the dorm and the time of the mandatory meeting. She dropped it into the trash on her way out. When she returned with another one, the door to her room was wide open and when she entered, there was a girl with short cropped hair, shorts and a tshirt with an outdated summer camp logo on the front sitting underneath the loft.
“Hey!” The girl beamed when Jiyeon entered, leaning against the door. She jumped up from her seat, wiped her hands on the seat of her shorts and offered to take the box from her. Jiyeon pushed by her and tipped it onto the empty desk.
“Hi,” she said, turning and pushing hair out of her face. “I’m Park Jiyeon,” she held out her hand and ignored the whirling in her stomach. “Nice to meet you.”
“Ryu Hwayoung.” She took Jiyeon’s hand in both of hers and beamed so brightly that Jiyeon was blinking stars out of her eyes for the next three days. “Let me help you carry stuff up!” She continued, and Jiyeon didn’t have the heart to deny her.
-
Hwayoung was taking classes scattered all over the board, from drawing to Japanese, from Business to Physics. When Jiyeon asked her about it - because why on earth would you subject yourself to such a whiplash of subjects for a whole semester with no clear goal - she just smiled.
“I want to do everything, so I figured I’d take everything and find out which one I really, really like.”
Jiyeon had known what she wanted to do when she was thirteen and saw a movie with horrendous acting and all she could think at the time was, “I can do better than her.” She glared at the lead actress trying to cry prettily. At thirteen, she already knew there was no such thing as crying prettily. You either wail like a baby or you cover your mouth with your hands and your hair, but it’s never pretty. If it was pretty then it wouldn’t be so emotional.
She was thirteen and she decided that she was going to become an actress and show the entire world how to really do it.
So when Hwayoung dallied through life, bought stuffed animals with her loan money and ate sundaes with chocolate fish in them at midnight, Jiyeon blamed the burning rage in her stomach as irritation, and dug her nails into her flat stomach until they hurt as though it would pierce the rush of feelings rolling around in there.
-
Hwayoung usually called her sister Hyoyoung on Sunday. Jiyeon hadn’t yet met her yet, but had heard everything in the world about her already. Hyoyoung wanted to go into zoology and work with animals but had trouble with teachers all the time. “They don’t understand because you’re too kind hearted, Hyoyoungie,” Hwayoung said, curled up on her little round chair in the corner by the window and staring at the tv, which they had on mute. Some cartoon show was playing on the screen with a stupid flying bison that Jiyeon once had a dream about. “You’re not suited for working with people.”
Jiyeon snorted and turned around to face her desk, staring at the lines that she had to memorize by class on Monday but was getting nowhere with. She had staunchly refused to go to the study room after the first and last time she’d tried, when she’d walked in on a couple making out against the wall with the blinds closed. She’d closed the door with a slam, her face coloring, and quickly ran away.
Finally, Hwayoung turned off the phone with a sigh. Hwayoung herself wasn’t that talkative most of the time, but she liked to be surrounded by noises and activity. It took her a maximum of ten seconds to turn the tv back on. The sound of irritating battle noises and screaming set her on edge. She clenched her jaw in frustration and slightly wrinkled the paper under her accidentally. Hwayoung hadn’t done homework all weekend and she probably wasn’t going to do it until one in the morning, because she was a slacker. Jiyeon turned around and levelled a glare in her direction. She was wearing sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt and her hair hadn’t been brushed yet and she giggling so openly at the show that Jiyeon’s irritation faded before she knew what she was doing with it.
“What are you watching?” She asked, dropping her pencil on her desk as hard as she could to get frustration out.
“Avatar: The Last Airbender,” Hwayoung said. “Want to watch? Its all on Netflix!”
Jiyeon only heard of it once or twice from her brother, when he was in high school and a nerd. “Sure,” she moved over to sit in the other chair next to Hwayoung. She cuddled up with a giant stuffed bunny and stuck her toes underneath Hwayoung’s thigh and laughed at her shriek.
The first episode was interesting, the characters were suddenly more inspiring, and by the third episode, she was hooked. By one in the morning they had watched the first season and Jiyeon couldn’t stop raving about the character growth. “I can’t believe I’ve never watched this before!” she breathed, cheeks flushed and arms wrapped around the stuffed animal. “We have to watch more!”
Hwayoung giggled, but turned the tv off anyway. Jiyeon pouted at her. “We should probably do our homework,” she admonished, linking their fingers together and pulling Jiyeon to her feet. Sticking her foot out, she pulled right back and sent Hwayoung toppling into her. She squealed, fell back against the chair as her long leg crushed hers and her arms flailed around, trying to find purchase. Her face ended up only a few inches from her and she could smell her breath and feel it against her mouth and chin. Her eyes were wider than she’d ever seen them, and so close that she could see the light reflecting the warm colors within.
Then Jiyeon realized that her hands had subconsciously wrapped themselves around her waist, clenching her shirt. Her baggy clothes hid her curves well, and when she flailed around, trying to find a hand-hold in the felt and curved chair she fell on top of her, knocking her chin against Jiyeon’s and breaking the spell with a knee to her thigh.
“Ouch!” Jiyeon pushed against her at the same time that Hwayoung rolled towards the left and the chair collapsed under them, sending them both to the ground with a bang. Hwayoung was ten times heavier when nothing was holding her up, and Jiyeon’s heart spiked in her chest when she felt Hwayoung’s very wet and very sharp mouth against her shoulder. She winced, but felt her cheeks heat up.
“Ugh, you’re heavy,” Jiyeon moaned, getting a mouthful of her hair in response. Hwayoung jerked her head back from her neck, realizing just what happened.
“Oh my God,” she gaped at the drool on her neck, sitting up on her knees. “I’m so sorry,” she flushed, cheeks turning from pink to a really ugly purple in record time. Jiyeon wiped off her sweat with the collar of her shirt and got to her feet.
“It’s okay,” she laughed. “It isn’t your fault.” Together they put the chair back on its metal wire and went to do homework. Jiyeon’s desk was faced away from Hwayoung, but every time she heard Hwayoung shuffle around, she instantly forgot everything she was supposed to be memorizing and she would blush again.
-
One afternoon, Jiyeon was lazing around on the grass in the academic courtyard, watching the clouds slowly cover the sun more and more. It was still warm and a bit humid, and the stickiness made her feel listless, made her never want to move. Maybe the clouds would break soon, and cover them in rain. She glanced to the side and peered at Hyomin, who was busily sketching at her side, on her stomach in the grass. An ant was slowly crawling its way up her sleeve, and Jiyeon lazily reached out a hand and flicked it away.
“Hey,” she rolled onto the side, pillowing her head with her arm. The grass felt nice and cool compared to the sticky humidity. Hyomin looked up, eyebrow slightly raised as she waited for Jiyeon to continue. “Do you ever get so annoyed by someone that you start to like them?”
Hyomin snorted, reaching over to pinch her cheek. “That’s how I felt when you ran into me, you adorable little freshman.” She cackled as Jiyeon shrieked and slapped her hand away, feeling her cheek and screwing up her face in irritation.
“But it’s different than that,” she sighed, rolling to her back again. “She never does her homework, she always stays up super late, she eats whatever she wants, does whatever she wants, takes whatever classes she thinks are interesting - I don’t get it! We’re in college with a reason.”
Hyomin made a noise of contemplation and poked Jiyeon in the side with her pencil. “You’re only a freshman, Jiyeonnie, you don’t have to have direction in life right away. I didn’t know what I wanted to do until I was twenty-two.”
“But you travelled all over the world,” Jiyeon whispered. “And besides, I have always known what I wanted to do.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she scowled at the sky. “She doesn’t have a ton of money - she shouldn’t stay in school for more than she needs to.”
Hyomin laughed, “Maybe you should concern yourself with not showing the world that you’re right all the time. Sometimes you have to let the world surprise you.”
Jiyeon scoffed, pouting her lips at her. When Hyomin had a sketchbook open in front of her and a pencil between her fingers, there was a light in her eyes and a soft smile on her lips that could rival the universe. “I don’t believe you, even a little.”
“Then why do you care so much?” Hyomin asked, but just then thunder clapped loudly in the sky, followed closely by a thick sheen of rain that sent them scurrying for cover.
-
When Jiyeon arrived back at the dorm room, soaking wet and shoes squelching, Hwayoung was laying on the floor with a book, humming along to her ipod. The sight filled her with such a sudden, quick rage that the force behind her kick to close the door shocked even her. She turned to glare at the door as Hwayoung looked up, stunned.
“You okay?” Jiyeon shucked her shoes off and let them hit the wall. She couldn’t look at her with the warm fury burning around in the pit of her stomach.
“You got caught in the rain, huh?” Hwayoung’s light voice only added fuel to the irritating and confusing rage. Jiyeon turned to her with a flat look, pulling her wet t-shirt over her head and throwing it at her. Hwayoung squealed, and Jiyeon’s stomach clamped as tight as a clamshell. Hwayoung peeled the shirt off her face and gave it a look of disgust as she dropped it on the floor. Jiyeon peeled off her pants and turned to the dresser, facing away from her roommate. As she pulled on a dry t-shirt, Hwayoung continued talking.
“You know, Jiyeon, you’re one of the best roommates I’ve ever had.” Jiyeon shut the drawer, staring at the snowglobes and pictures on the top that were crowded around the base of the tv. “A really, really good friend.” She imagined her twiddling her ipod around in her fingers, sitting up against the base of the bed with her legs stretched out. She bent down and opened her drawer with all her shorts. “Actually, I know you’re in a bad mood, and this might not be the best time, but...” Jiyeon turned around towards her finally, analyzing her face. Hwayoung met her eyes with a small smile. “You know, sometimes you’re really hard to read?”
Jiyeon shrugged. The more Hwayoung talked, the more Jiyeon’s anger slowly started to ebb into a feeling of indifference.
Hwayoung set her ipod aside, wringing her fingers together nervously. “I think I might have a crush on you,” she admitted finally, her big brown eyes wide as they stared at Jiyeon. Her cheeks colored and she looked away finally. “I mean, I don’t - it’s okay if you don’t. I just wanted to say it.”
Jiyeon blinked at her, not sure what to do. Hwayoung’s short hair had been towel dried in the morning; it fluffed around her head and fell over her forehead with a charming sort of whisp. She hadn’t brushed it yet, something that ought to bother Jiyeon. But then she remembered that she’d been angry.
“Oh.” She returned flatly, falling against the dresser.
Hwayoung shifted nervously from her spot and finally got to her feet, opening and closing her fists. Jiyeon had never seen her look more awkward, or seen her shoulders so tight. Her face was twisted up into a knot. “I can go request a room transfer if you want, if you’re grossed out, or anything. Or I can just...I should just go, right?”
As she tried to step over Jiyeon, the rim of her baggy shorts brushed against her shoulder, jump starting her into action. She grabbed her ankle. “Hey, wait.” She gave her ankle a squeeze before releasing it. Hwayoung looked at her, turning around slowly. She was blushing, and her eyes were starting to go red. She managed a watery smile that caused all of Jiyeon’s anger to crash to the ground.
“This has been eating at me since we moved in,” Jiyeon chewed on her bottom lip for a minute, staring at the corner of her eye, at her red nose. She looked like she was going to cry, but she didn’t look ugly. Jiyeon remembered being a kid again, and that stupid actress who couldn’t act. Hwayoung crouched down next to her, hands on her knees, staring at her expectantly.
“Honestly, you’re so weird. You don’t even know what you want to do yet. How can you go around saying things like “I like you” and stuff?” Once she started, the words all came tumbling out. “How can you be so free and waste away your parents money on school? How can go around having fun? I don’t even know what that’s like.” She stopped like she’d hit a brick wall, and suddenly the entire issue came to light. Hwayoung brushed tears out of her eyes discreetly, staring at her knees.
She pulled her knees up to her chest, staring at Hwayoung, who had tears glinting the edges of her eyes. “Oh my god,” she whispered, feeling an awful revelation twist in her chest. She put a hand to her lips. “I’ve been jealous this whole time,” she glanced up at Hwayoung. “I’m so sorry,” she reached out and put a hand on hers for a brief moment before pulling it away. “I’m so stupid.”
There was a long moment of silence, where neither one moved or looked at each other. Hwayoung sniffled quietly for a few moments, but then those faded too. Finally, Hwayoung laughed. “That’s all you were mad about?” She reached out and pulled her forward by her shoulders, wrapping her arms around her. “Don’t worry about it, it happens to us all!”
Jiyeon reluctantly wrapped her arms around her in a lose hug. Hwayoung’s hair tickled her forehead. Her body was warm, and her breath danced across the back of her neck. Jiyeon pushed her back very slowly, trembling a little, her heart suddenly in her throat. “Yeah? Well, if you want.” She frowned at herself, at the pitter-patter of her heart in her ribs. She remembered the night when the chair broke with sudden, inexplicable clarity, and flushed deeply.
Her voice got caught in her throat. She cleared it, staring over Hwayoung’s shoulder at her book on the floor. “If you want, we could go out?” She hadn’t meant it to be such an uncertain sentence, but it betrayed her inner feelings anyway.
Hwayoung tipped her head at her, eyebrows raised. “Really?” She tapped her fingers against Jiyeon’s knees. “Really?” She smiled then, the same smile that crinkled her eyes at the edges and showed her teeth - the same smile that beamed like a sunray right through her cloudy doubts and made her heart leap to her throat.
“Awesome!” She said, jumping to her feet. She twirled, squealed, bounced off the corner of Jiyeon’s bed and ended up hugging one of her stuffed animals on a chair before Jiyeon could even blink. Within seconds she was up again. “I’m hungry, are you hungry? Get some pants on, lets go eat - you can pay and we can get ice cream after, come on, come on.”
Jiyeon followed her instructions and pulled on a pair of shorts. Before they left the dorm room, she remembered the storm and grabbed her umbrella. Hwayoung bounced next to her all the way down the hall, and it was infectious. Jiyeon found herself giggling, and she reached for Hwayoung’s hand and gave it a squeeze of assurance, just to make sure everything was real.
Recipient: 921227
Group(s)/Pairing(s): T-ara; Jiyeon/Hwayoung
Rating: Pg
Warning(s): n/a
Summary: Jiyeon has known what she wanted all of her life, until Hwayoung bursts into it with a smile brighter than the sun. She’s never been so annoyed in her life.
Notes: I really hope you like this and that it wasn't too cheesy, my dear recipient!
Jiyeon had been on uneven ground since she moved into the dorm room the day before classes and found that her roommate’s stuff was already all over half of the room, but she herself was gone. Her roommate had a loft, a chair with stuffed animals. She had pictures of her and her twin lining the wall underneath it and next to her desk. Jiyeon took one look at all of the nice stuff and very suddenly felt a surge of dislike whirl in her chest. For some reason, this sudden invasion of privacy caused her to balk, to take a step back and stumble and nearly drop the box she was holding.
She slid her box on the empty bed in the corner and picked up the packet of information about the dorm and the time of the mandatory meeting. She dropped it into the trash on her way out. When she returned with another one, the door to her room was wide open and when she entered, there was a girl with short cropped hair, shorts and a tshirt with an outdated summer camp logo on the front sitting underneath the loft.
“Hey!” The girl beamed when Jiyeon entered, leaning against the door. She jumped up from her seat, wiped her hands on the seat of her shorts and offered to take the box from her. Jiyeon pushed by her and tipped it onto the empty desk.
“Hi,” she said, turning and pushing hair out of her face. “I’m Park Jiyeon,” she held out her hand and ignored the whirling in her stomach. “Nice to meet you.”
“Ryu Hwayoung.” She took Jiyeon’s hand in both of hers and beamed so brightly that Jiyeon was blinking stars out of her eyes for the next three days. “Let me help you carry stuff up!” She continued, and Jiyeon didn’t have the heart to deny her.
-
Hwayoung was taking classes scattered all over the board, from drawing to Japanese, from Business to Physics. When Jiyeon asked her about it - because why on earth would you subject yourself to such a whiplash of subjects for a whole semester with no clear goal - she just smiled.
“I want to do everything, so I figured I’d take everything and find out which one I really, really like.”
Jiyeon had known what she wanted to do when she was thirteen and saw a movie with horrendous acting and all she could think at the time was, “I can do better than her.” She glared at the lead actress trying to cry prettily. At thirteen, she already knew there was no such thing as crying prettily. You either wail like a baby or you cover your mouth with your hands and your hair, but it’s never pretty. If it was pretty then it wouldn’t be so emotional.
She was thirteen and she decided that she was going to become an actress and show the entire world how to really do it.
So when Hwayoung dallied through life, bought stuffed animals with her loan money and ate sundaes with chocolate fish in them at midnight, Jiyeon blamed the burning rage in her stomach as irritation, and dug her nails into her flat stomach until they hurt as though it would pierce the rush of feelings rolling around in there.
-
Hwayoung usually called her sister Hyoyoung on Sunday. Jiyeon hadn’t yet met her yet, but had heard everything in the world about her already. Hyoyoung wanted to go into zoology and work with animals but had trouble with teachers all the time. “They don’t understand because you’re too kind hearted, Hyoyoungie,” Hwayoung said, curled up on her little round chair in the corner by the window and staring at the tv, which they had on mute. Some cartoon show was playing on the screen with a stupid flying bison that Jiyeon once had a dream about. “You’re not suited for working with people.”
Jiyeon snorted and turned around to face her desk, staring at the lines that she had to memorize by class on Monday but was getting nowhere with. She had staunchly refused to go to the study room after the first and last time she’d tried, when she’d walked in on a couple making out against the wall with the blinds closed. She’d closed the door with a slam, her face coloring, and quickly ran away.
Finally, Hwayoung turned off the phone with a sigh. Hwayoung herself wasn’t that talkative most of the time, but she liked to be surrounded by noises and activity. It took her a maximum of ten seconds to turn the tv back on. The sound of irritating battle noises and screaming set her on edge. She clenched her jaw in frustration and slightly wrinkled the paper under her accidentally. Hwayoung hadn’t done homework all weekend and she probably wasn’t going to do it until one in the morning, because she was a slacker. Jiyeon turned around and levelled a glare in her direction. She was wearing sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt and her hair hadn’t been brushed yet and she giggling so openly at the show that Jiyeon’s irritation faded before she knew what she was doing with it.
“What are you watching?” She asked, dropping her pencil on her desk as hard as she could to get frustration out.
“Avatar: The Last Airbender,” Hwayoung said. “Want to watch? Its all on Netflix!”
Jiyeon only heard of it once or twice from her brother, when he was in high school and a nerd. “Sure,” she moved over to sit in the other chair next to Hwayoung. She cuddled up with a giant stuffed bunny and stuck her toes underneath Hwayoung’s thigh and laughed at her shriek.
The first episode was interesting, the characters were suddenly more inspiring, and by the third episode, she was hooked. By one in the morning they had watched the first season and Jiyeon couldn’t stop raving about the character growth. “I can’t believe I’ve never watched this before!” she breathed, cheeks flushed and arms wrapped around the stuffed animal. “We have to watch more!”
Hwayoung giggled, but turned the tv off anyway. Jiyeon pouted at her. “We should probably do our homework,” she admonished, linking their fingers together and pulling Jiyeon to her feet. Sticking her foot out, she pulled right back and sent Hwayoung toppling into her. She squealed, fell back against the chair as her long leg crushed hers and her arms flailed around, trying to find purchase. Her face ended up only a few inches from her and she could smell her breath and feel it against her mouth and chin. Her eyes were wider than she’d ever seen them, and so close that she could see the light reflecting the warm colors within.
Then Jiyeon realized that her hands had subconsciously wrapped themselves around her waist, clenching her shirt. Her baggy clothes hid her curves well, and when she flailed around, trying to find a hand-hold in the felt and curved chair she fell on top of her, knocking her chin against Jiyeon’s and breaking the spell with a knee to her thigh.
“Ouch!” Jiyeon pushed against her at the same time that Hwayoung rolled towards the left and the chair collapsed under them, sending them both to the ground with a bang. Hwayoung was ten times heavier when nothing was holding her up, and Jiyeon’s heart spiked in her chest when she felt Hwayoung’s very wet and very sharp mouth against her shoulder. She winced, but felt her cheeks heat up.
“Ugh, you’re heavy,” Jiyeon moaned, getting a mouthful of her hair in response. Hwayoung jerked her head back from her neck, realizing just what happened.
“Oh my God,” she gaped at the drool on her neck, sitting up on her knees. “I’m so sorry,” she flushed, cheeks turning from pink to a really ugly purple in record time. Jiyeon wiped off her sweat with the collar of her shirt and got to her feet.
“It’s okay,” she laughed. “It isn’t your fault.” Together they put the chair back on its metal wire and went to do homework. Jiyeon’s desk was faced away from Hwayoung, but every time she heard Hwayoung shuffle around, she instantly forgot everything she was supposed to be memorizing and she would blush again.
-
One afternoon, Jiyeon was lazing around on the grass in the academic courtyard, watching the clouds slowly cover the sun more and more. It was still warm and a bit humid, and the stickiness made her feel listless, made her never want to move. Maybe the clouds would break soon, and cover them in rain. She glanced to the side and peered at Hyomin, who was busily sketching at her side, on her stomach in the grass. An ant was slowly crawling its way up her sleeve, and Jiyeon lazily reached out a hand and flicked it away.
“Hey,” she rolled onto the side, pillowing her head with her arm. The grass felt nice and cool compared to the sticky humidity. Hyomin looked up, eyebrow slightly raised as she waited for Jiyeon to continue. “Do you ever get so annoyed by someone that you start to like them?”
Hyomin snorted, reaching over to pinch her cheek. “That’s how I felt when you ran into me, you adorable little freshman.” She cackled as Jiyeon shrieked and slapped her hand away, feeling her cheek and screwing up her face in irritation.
“But it’s different than that,” she sighed, rolling to her back again. “She never does her homework, she always stays up super late, she eats whatever she wants, does whatever she wants, takes whatever classes she thinks are interesting - I don’t get it! We’re in college with a reason.”
Hyomin made a noise of contemplation and poked Jiyeon in the side with her pencil. “You’re only a freshman, Jiyeonnie, you don’t have to have direction in life right away. I didn’t know what I wanted to do until I was twenty-two.”
“But you travelled all over the world,” Jiyeon whispered. “And besides, I have always known what I wanted to do.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she scowled at the sky. “She doesn’t have a ton of money - she shouldn’t stay in school for more than she needs to.”
Hyomin laughed, “Maybe you should concern yourself with not showing the world that you’re right all the time. Sometimes you have to let the world surprise you.”
Jiyeon scoffed, pouting her lips at her. When Hyomin had a sketchbook open in front of her and a pencil between her fingers, there was a light in her eyes and a soft smile on her lips that could rival the universe. “I don’t believe you, even a little.”
“Then why do you care so much?” Hyomin asked, but just then thunder clapped loudly in the sky, followed closely by a thick sheen of rain that sent them scurrying for cover.
-
When Jiyeon arrived back at the dorm room, soaking wet and shoes squelching, Hwayoung was laying on the floor with a book, humming along to her ipod. The sight filled her with such a sudden, quick rage that the force behind her kick to close the door shocked even her. She turned to glare at the door as Hwayoung looked up, stunned.
“You okay?” Jiyeon shucked her shoes off and let them hit the wall. She couldn’t look at her with the warm fury burning around in the pit of her stomach.
“You got caught in the rain, huh?” Hwayoung’s light voice only added fuel to the irritating and confusing rage. Jiyeon turned to her with a flat look, pulling her wet t-shirt over her head and throwing it at her. Hwayoung squealed, and Jiyeon’s stomach clamped as tight as a clamshell. Hwayoung peeled the shirt off her face and gave it a look of disgust as she dropped it on the floor. Jiyeon peeled off her pants and turned to the dresser, facing away from her roommate. As she pulled on a dry t-shirt, Hwayoung continued talking.
“You know, Jiyeon, you’re one of the best roommates I’ve ever had.” Jiyeon shut the drawer, staring at the snowglobes and pictures on the top that were crowded around the base of the tv. “A really, really good friend.” She imagined her twiddling her ipod around in her fingers, sitting up against the base of the bed with her legs stretched out. She bent down and opened her drawer with all her shorts. “Actually, I know you’re in a bad mood, and this might not be the best time, but...” Jiyeon turned around towards her finally, analyzing her face. Hwayoung met her eyes with a small smile. “You know, sometimes you’re really hard to read?”
Jiyeon shrugged. The more Hwayoung talked, the more Jiyeon’s anger slowly started to ebb into a feeling of indifference.
Hwayoung set her ipod aside, wringing her fingers together nervously. “I think I might have a crush on you,” she admitted finally, her big brown eyes wide as they stared at Jiyeon. Her cheeks colored and she looked away finally. “I mean, I don’t - it’s okay if you don’t. I just wanted to say it.”
Jiyeon blinked at her, not sure what to do. Hwayoung’s short hair had been towel dried in the morning; it fluffed around her head and fell over her forehead with a charming sort of whisp. She hadn’t brushed it yet, something that ought to bother Jiyeon. But then she remembered that she’d been angry.
“Oh.” She returned flatly, falling against the dresser.
Hwayoung shifted nervously from her spot and finally got to her feet, opening and closing her fists. Jiyeon had never seen her look more awkward, or seen her shoulders so tight. Her face was twisted up into a knot. “I can go request a room transfer if you want, if you’re grossed out, or anything. Or I can just...I should just go, right?”
As she tried to step over Jiyeon, the rim of her baggy shorts brushed against her shoulder, jump starting her into action. She grabbed her ankle. “Hey, wait.” She gave her ankle a squeeze before releasing it. Hwayoung looked at her, turning around slowly. She was blushing, and her eyes were starting to go red. She managed a watery smile that caused all of Jiyeon’s anger to crash to the ground.
“This has been eating at me since we moved in,” Jiyeon chewed on her bottom lip for a minute, staring at the corner of her eye, at her red nose. She looked like she was going to cry, but she didn’t look ugly. Jiyeon remembered being a kid again, and that stupid actress who couldn’t act. Hwayoung crouched down next to her, hands on her knees, staring at her expectantly.
“Honestly, you’re so weird. You don’t even know what you want to do yet. How can you go around saying things like “I like you” and stuff?” Once she started, the words all came tumbling out. “How can you be so free and waste away your parents money on school? How can go around having fun? I don’t even know what that’s like.” She stopped like she’d hit a brick wall, and suddenly the entire issue came to light. Hwayoung brushed tears out of her eyes discreetly, staring at her knees.
She pulled her knees up to her chest, staring at Hwayoung, who had tears glinting the edges of her eyes. “Oh my god,” she whispered, feeling an awful revelation twist in her chest. She put a hand to her lips. “I’ve been jealous this whole time,” she glanced up at Hwayoung. “I’m so sorry,” she reached out and put a hand on hers for a brief moment before pulling it away. “I’m so stupid.”
There was a long moment of silence, where neither one moved or looked at each other. Hwayoung sniffled quietly for a few moments, but then those faded too. Finally, Hwayoung laughed. “That’s all you were mad about?” She reached out and pulled her forward by her shoulders, wrapping her arms around her. “Don’t worry about it, it happens to us all!”
Jiyeon reluctantly wrapped her arms around her in a lose hug. Hwayoung’s hair tickled her forehead. Her body was warm, and her breath danced across the back of her neck. Jiyeon pushed her back very slowly, trembling a little, her heart suddenly in her throat. “Yeah? Well, if you want.” She frowned at herself, at the pitter-patter of her heart in her ribs. She remembered the night when the chair broke with sudden, inexplicable clarity, and flushed deeply.
Her voice got caught in her throat. She cleared it, staring over Hwayoung’s shoulder at her book on the floor. “If you want, we could go out?” She hadn’t meant it to be such an uncertain sentence, but it betrayed her inner feelings anyway.
Hwayoung tipped her head at her, eyebrows raised. “Really?” She tapped her fingers against Jiyeon’s knees. “Really?” She smiled then, the same smile that crinkled her eyes at the edges and showed her teeth - the same smile that beamed like a sunray right through her cloudy doubts and made her heart leap to her throat.
“Awesome!” She said, jumping to her feet. She twirled, squealed, bounced off the corner of Jiyeon’s bed and ended up hugging one of her stuffed animals on a chair before Jiyeon could even blink. Within seconds she was up again. “I’m hungry, are you hungry? Get some pants on, lets go eat - you can pay and we can get ice cream after, come on, come on.”
Jiyeon followed her instructions and pulled on a pair of shorts. Before they left the dorm room, she remembered the storm and grabbed her umbrella. Hwayoung bounced next to her all the way down the hall, and it was infectious. Jiyeon found herself giggling, and she reached for Hwayoung’s hand and gave it a squeeze of assurance, just to make sure everything was real.