Manhood Redefined.
Shed the silly John Wayne facade, man. This is 2010. Women are now (supposed to be) our equals and can be expected to pull their weight in society. They no longer need us to be their heroes. They need us to be their partners, teammates, and coworkers - their allies. Gone are the days of the Marlboro Man (dead of cancer), the caveman (extinct about 20,000 years ago), Mr. Cleaver (obsolete), and the Mad Men (also obsolete - not to mention most of them are dead). We are at a crossroads, boys. We are responsible - first and foremost as individuals, and eventually as a generation - for defining what it means to be a man in the twenty-first century. We have collectively neglected this responsibility for far too long. We have allowed the hipsters, the porn hounds, the "make me a sammich" set, the retrosexuals and metrosexuals, the frat boys, the meatheads, the losers who buy wives from Cambodia and lock them in the basement, and the "Mad Men" dominate the landscape long enough. That stops now.
Note that everything it means to be a man is also what it means to be a woman. Note that our actions shall, from here on out, be judged by their usefulness rather than how they fit into the old masculine/feminine dichotomy. Note that everything we were ever taught about gender roles is probably wrong, lacking in details, or otherwise deficient. It's time to take the responsibility for carving out our meaning in this life out of the hands of society, religion, tradition, and our friends' opinions. This is where we, as men and women, start to determine your own meaning and carve out our own niche - and finally think for ourselves. We do not identify with any of the common definitions of manhood. We refuse to put women "in their place," because their "place" is not for us to determine. They are not objects put here for our pleasure. They have bigger fish to fry (no pun intended) than our opinion of them. They owe us nothing.
Now that we have that out of the way, time for some rules I've come up with:
1. Real men are not intimidated by a self-determined woman. He in fact considers her an ally and an asset to society, even if her opinion differs from his. Real men have no fear of losing their manhood if women are equal to them. Besides, where is the threat? Really?
2. Real men have no quarrel with homosexuality. In fact, some of real men are homosexual, bisexual, and otherwise.
3. Real men don't need a metaphorical "card" to prove their manhood. Any individual man does not owe any other man any explanation about their decisions. We mind our own business. Oh, and we will never ask for your "man card." Ever.
4. Real men don't give a flying fuck who you slept with last. In fact, sleep with whomever you wish. We won't judge you or impose our standard of beauty on you. Again, we mind our own business.
5. It doesn't matter what kind of car you drive. You can drive whatever the fuck you want given you do so in accordance with #6.
6. Most of you will agree with this: Real men act with justice, judgment, responsibility, equanimity, courtesy, compassion, enthusiasm, determination, generosity, loyalty, moderation, self-control, patience, integrity, courage, bearing, and utility in mind - rather than what another person's opinion will be of their actions. Furthermore, not one of these traits is exclusive to our gender.
7. Real men can make mean sandwiches. We can cook like a mofo, too.
8. Call me partial, but real men are existentialist. In fact, real thinkers are existentialist.
9. Real men treat everyone equally - with dignity and respect - even if they don't "deserve" it.
10. Real men don't blame nature for their inadequacies. We know evolutionary psychology is bullshit pseudoscience that is overused to put women in their "place" and justify the most dishonest of male behavior.
11. Real men either choose monogamy or they don't. In other words, if they're prone to sleeping around, they don't get into life-long monogamous relationships only to fuck them up. They are up front about who they are.
12. Real men are there for their children, and I don't mean just bringing how a paycheck. They talk to them, smile at them, and hug them once in a while.
13. Real men don't need to engage in self-destructive behavior to prove their manhood, because they know it is counter-intuitive to do so.
14. Real men know they're not perfect and will admit when they are wrong.
15. Real men know that rules are made to be broken, traditions to be abandoned, and norms to be violated; especially if they're unjust, ineffective, obsolete, or otherwise useless.
I am a real man. If you disagree, you can call the law offices of Tuff and Schitt (to quote D.C.), because I don't have to prove anything to you. Keep in mind, fellas, that these "rules" I have here are just a few examples. Manhood shall be fluid and dynamic. Manhood shall be whatever it needs to be in any given scenario. Manhood shall be personhood with a 'Y' chromosome. It shall be held as no more sacred than any other state of human existence.
Manhood is the state with which I most identify, being male and cisgendered and all, but that's all it is. This manifesto of sorts is for the folks out there that understand it and identify with it. If it ain't for you, I don't care to hear what you have to say about it, because you're clinging to a bunch of bullshit for which I no longer have a use. I ain't mad at ya, but agree to disagree and leave it alone.
Note that everything it means to be a man is also what it means to be a woman. Note that our actions shall, from here on out, be judged by their usefulness rather than how they fit into the old masculine/feminine dichotomy. Note that everything we were ever taught about gender roles is probably wrong, lacking in details, or otherwise deficient. It's time to take the responsibility for carving out our meaning in this life out of the hands of society, religion, tradition, and our friends' opinions. This is where we, as men and women, start to determine your own meaning and carve out our own niche - and finally think for ourselves. We do not identify with any of the common definitions of manhood. We refuse to put women "in their place," because their "place" is not for us to determine. They are not objects put here for our pleasure. They have bigger fish to fry (no pun intended) than our opinion of them. They owe us nothing.
Now that we have that out of the way, time for some rules I've come up with:
1. Real men are not intimidated by a self-determined woman. He in fact considers her an ally and an asset to society, even if her opinion differs from his. Real men have no fear of losing their manhood if women are equal to them. Besides, where is the threat? Really?
2. Real men have no quarrel with homosexuality. In fact, some of real men are homosexual, bisexual, and otherwise.
3. Real men don't need a metaphorical "card" to prove their manhood. Any individual man does not owe any other man any explanation about their decisions. We mind our own business. Oh, and we will never ask for your "man card." Ever.
4. Real men don't give a flying fuck who you slept with last. In fact, sleep with whomever you wish. We won't judge you or impose our standard of beauty on you. Again, we mind our own business.
5. It doesn't matter what kind of car you drive. You can drive whatever the fuck you want given you do so in accordance with #6.
6. Most of you will agree with this: Real men act with justice, judgment, responsibility, equanimity, courtesy, compassion, enthusiasm, determination, generosity, loyalty, moderation, self-control, patience, integrity, courage, bearing, and utility in mind - rather than what another person's opinion will be of their actions. Furthermore, not one of these traits is exclusive to our gender.
7. Real men can make mean sandwiches. We can cook like a mofo, too.
8. Call me partial, but real men are existentialist. In fact, real thinkers are existentialist.
9. Real men treat everyone equally - with dignity and respect - even if they don't "deserve" it.
10. Real men don't blame nature for their inadequacies. We know evolutionary psychology is bullshit pseudoscience that is overused to put women in their "place" and justify the most dishonest of male behavior.
11. Real men either choose monogamy or they don't. In other words, if they're prone to sleeping around, they don't get into life-long monogamous relationships only to fuck them up. They are up front about who they are.
12. Real men are there for their children, and I don't mean just bringing how a paycheck. They talk to them, smile at them, and hug them once in a while.
13. Real men don't need to engage in self-destructive behavior to prove their manhood, because they know it is counter-intuitive to do so.
14. Real men know they're not perfect and will admit when they are wrong.
15. Real men know that rules are made to be broken, traditions to be abandoned, and norms to be violated; especially if they're unjust, ineffective, obsolete, or otherwise useless.
I am a real man. If you disagree, you can call the law offices of Tuff and Schitt (to quote D.C.), because I don't have to prove anything to you. Keep in mind, fellas, that these "rules" I have here are just a few examples. Manhood shall be fluid and dynamic. Manhood shall be whatever it needs to be in any given scenario. Manhood shall be personhood with a 'Y' chromosome. It shall be held as no more sacred than any other state of human existence.
Manhood is the state with which I most identify, being male and cisgendered and all, but that's all it is. This manifesto of sorts is for the folks out there that understand it and identify with it. If it ain't for you, I don't care to hear what you have to say about it, because you're clinging to a bunch of bullshit for which I no longer have a use. I ain't mad at ya, but agree to disagree and leave it alone.