ugh...teenagers
Dear Journal,
I don’t know what’s wrong. I tend to sit here and think about what is all wrong with me and what never is right. I know I have a lot to live for, I just don’t know what it is. I think I’ve loved and I think I’ve felt the pain of heart break but I’m not to sure. Right about now im not to sure of anything. Keeter hates me, the only one I could really be myself with or laugh with or even cry and he’d make sure everything’s ok. I seem to always loose the ones that mean that much to me. Such as Cameron, I don’t even know what to say about Cameron, I just get to many mixed feelings, and I always can’t help but wonder is the only reason he’s holding on is because I’m there when he has no one? All I know is I will always have feelings for him. I try so damn hard to talk to him every single damn day and he couldn’t give a shit. Keeter on the other hand wont even say a word to me! Am I really that horrible of a person!?!? All I know is that almost everyday now I don’t know why I’m even here. During P.E. today I almost broke down and cried. Am I just a big baby? Is this normal. I wish I knew what was normal. But I’m to wrapped up in what’s normal then to be myself, I look around and I see people and their grades and their lifestyle and all I know is that I want to be normal, but part of me just wants to be myself. I have no idea what to do anymore. I feel so useless, and I feel mixed up and in the dark depths of a whole, and I cant get up. I wish I had someone to talk too but my best friends aren’t here to understand how I feel or know what I’m going through. I don’t think anyone knows. I think what’s wrong is I’m just a plain old teenage girl and I have to get over it.
Love,
The Lost
I don’t know what’s wrong. I tend to sit here and think about what is all wrong with me and what never is right. I know I have a lot to live for, I just don’t know what it is. I think I’ve loved and I think I’ve felt the pain of heart break but I’m not to sure. Right about now im not to sure of anything. Keeter hates me, the only one I could really be myself with or laugh with or even cry and he’d make sure everything’s ok. I seem to always loose the ones that mean that much to me. Such as Cameron, I don’t even know what to say about Cameron, I just get to many mixed feelings, and I always can’t help but wonder is the only reason he’s holding on is because I’m there when he has no one? All I know is I will always have feelings for him. I try so damn hard to talk to him every single damn day and he couldn’t give a shit. Keeter on the other hand wont even say a word to me! Am I really that horrible of a person!?!? All I know is that almost everyday now I don’t know why I’m even here. During P.E. today I almost broke down and cried. Am I just a big baby? Is this normal. I wish I knew what was normal. But I’m to wrapped up in what’s normal then to be myself, I look around and I see people and their grades and their lifestyle and all I know is that I want to be normal, but part of me just wants to be myself. I have no idea what to do anymore. I feel so useless, and I feel mixed up and in the dark depths of a whole, and I cant get up. I wish I had someone to talk too but my best friends aren’t here to understand how I feel or know what I’m going through. I don’t think anyone knows. I think what’s wrong is I’m just a plain old teenage girl and I have to get over it.
Love,
The Lost