(no subject)
Today was fun... I woke up had some breakfast... then got a phone call from Stewart to go to the beach today... took a lot to convince my mother... so I finished breakfast, showered and shaved. Once we got to the beach it was fun, we played around and complained about the god-forsaken rocks that were all over the place. He took me on the boogie board to the sand bar and we pulled eachother around... personally it was easier to grab his hand and pull him along than to use the boogie board. it was fun, eventually we got out of the water and laid out on the sun and spoke to eachother with our arms parting our faces *my ass is burned* Thanks Stewart!.... he told me I needed to tan my ass so I was on my back for a while... then w/e we went walking to the peir of rocks where people fish. we ran and compared shadows... my still looks better than his... I have curves! lol. so w/e we played some more on the beach... some guys looked our way (I perseonnaly think they were staring at Stew MORE than at me,lol )w/e we started walking back, great exercise running a little and walking then trying to go against the waves.. it was fun. So w/e got back and got some sun on the front side. He didn't believe the fact that Rob hasn't seen me in my underwear... so Stewart is an entire step ahead of him XD. umm... whatelse... oh yeah... got along with his parents and went out to eat some fishy *yummy*. It was nice.... Felt like Stewart was my bestfriend since forever... but he's just a really nice guy.
So we started talking online after they dropped me off at home and had a conversation about life and death.
Stewart(10:08:30 PM): call me evil, when a person doesnt think that theyre good
Stewart (10:08:44 PM): usually, they judge themselves. its like getting into heaven or hell
Stewart (10:08:48 PM): god doesnt judge you.
Stewart(10:08:49 PM): you do.
ElvenFairy29 (10:09:03 PM): *shrug*
Stewart(10:09:11 PM): if u didnt get into heaven, its cuz u thought u were bad enough to get into hell.
ElvenFairy29 (10:09:30 PM): lol once I die I'm not going anywhere
Stewart(10:09:31 PM): really, what have i done thats so bad to send me to hell
Stewart (10:09:37 PM): nothing yet..yet
ElvenFairy29 (10:09:58 PM): I'm going to drift amidst the clouds
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:12 PM): not heaven
Stewart (10:10:12 PM): must be pretty boring to be you whenu die
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:14 PM): not hell
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:22 PM): no...
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:26 PM): you're born alon.
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:30 PM): -alone.
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:34 PM): you die alone
Stewart(10:10:40 PM): lol.
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:43 PM): I roam alone.
Stewart (10:10:45 PM): your not born alone
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:50 PM): I like it that way,
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:56 PM): *.
ElvenFairy29 (10:11:12 PM): unless you have a twin, you're born a lone
Stewart (10:11:19 PM): the way your born basically reflects the rest of your life
Stewart (10:12:16 PM): and most people are born with their moms giving birth, a group of people you dont know welcoming your arrival, someone fainting, etc.
Stewart (10:12:43 PM): and thats basically symbolism..for..no matter where you are.
Stewart(10:12:47 PM): your never alone
ElvenFairy29 (10:13:20 PM): lol
ElvenFairy29 (10:13:22 PM): I was.
ElvenFairy29 (10:13:33 PM): No one was in the room whenmy mom gave birth
Stewart (10:13:35 PM): "your not alone, ive always been there, and through the hard times that you saw only one set of foot prints, they were mine, when i carried you through."
ElvenFairy29 (10:13:47 PM): my dad was panicking.
ElvenFairy29 (10:14:02 PM): my sister was outside and anxious...
ElvenFairy29 (10:14:12 PM): pesturing the nurse....
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:14 PM): only person that cared for me from day one was my sister... she rushed into the room before the nurse could wipe me clean....... and held me... all naked and bloody... she was the only one... and kissed me
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:18 PM): :-(
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:21 PM): I miss my sister
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:34 PM): I'm going to cry when I see her this christmas
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:39 PM): FUck I miss her
Stewart(10:16:12 PM): im sorry.
then a few minutes later I wrote an e-mail to my sister :
I was talking to a friend of mine... he took me out to the beach today and we had a good time.... it's 10:17 om and I'm finishing up some homework I had forgotten. he and I were talking about being good or bad.... and I stated neither. that when I die, I'll float in the clouds, alone like when I was born... and he stated that we're never alone... that when were born people stand to welcome us and once we leave people attend to give their goodbyes. I told him about how when I was born, you held me before anyone... and how even though I hadn't been cleaned off yet you didn't care and kissed me... then I started to cry. I'm still crying, First thing I do when I see you will probably be that... I miss having you around so much its overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like I've just lost everything in life, and it really sucks. I don't have much of a mother... and it's not like there's a father figure anywhere around me... closest things to a father figure are my guy friends... cause male family members are just people I know and care for... nothing parental about them. My brother... I love him but... not like he helps... he's busy trying to support himself anyway... so everything I need feels like it's gone. Only real thing I have left is you and tata... Tata cares and you and my friends... that's it...Just thought I'd let you know I love you...
-Natascha
I know to most of you this is emo-shit, But if you think that it's shitty and stupid, don't comment. It's personal and I'm posting it cause I care and I need to place it somewhere, why? I don't know.. I guess so people know why I'll act weird in december, and this week. Franco you'll be the first to criticise my "Hot Topic" attitude... and if your going to tell it to Nat or Brandy, cause I don't want your negative comment on here.
off to finish homework. sorry if my writing was unclear and choppy... but what can I say?-I'm tired.
So we started talking online after they dropped me off at home and had a conversation about life and death.
Stewart(10:08:30 PM): call me evil, when a person doesnt think that theyre good
Stewart (10:08:44 PM): usually, they judge themselves. its like getting into heaven or hell
Stewart (10:08:48 PM): god doesnt judge you.
Stewart(10:08:49 PM): you do.
ElvenFairy29 (10:09:03 PM): *shrug*
Stewart(10:09:11 PM): if u didnt get into heaven, its cuz u thought u were bad enough to get into hell.
ElvenFairy29 (10:09:30 PM): lol once I die I'm not going anywhere
Stewart(10:09:31 PM): really, what have i done thats so bad to send me to hell
Stewart (10:09:37 PM): nothing yet..yet
ElvenFairy29 (10:09:58 PM): I'm going to drift amidst the clouds
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:12 PM): not heaven
Stewart (10:10:12 PM): must be pretty boring to be you whenu die
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:14 PM): not hell
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:22 PM): no...
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:26 PM): you're born alon.
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:30 PM): -alone.
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:34 PM): you die alone
Stewart(10:10:40 PM): lol.
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:43 PM): I roam alone.
Stewart (10:10:45 PM): your not born alone
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:50 PM): I like it that way,
ElvenFairy29 (10:10:56 PM): *.
ElvenFairy29 (10:11:12 PM): unless you have a twin, you're born a lone
Stewart (10:11:19 PM): the way your born basically reflects the rest of your life
Stewart (10:12:16 PM): and most people are born with their moms giving birth, a group of people you dont know welcoming your arrival, someone fainting, etc.
Stewart (10:12:43 PM): and thats basically symbolism..for..no matter where you are.
Stewart(10:12:47 PM): your never alone
ElvenFairy29 (10:13:20 PM): lol
ElvenFairy29 (10:13:22 PM): I was.
ElvenFairy29 (10:13:33 PM): No one was in the room whenmy mom gave birth
Stewart (10:13:35 PM): "your not alone, ive always been there, and through the hard times that you saw only one set of foot prints, they were mine, when i carried you through."
ElvenFairy29 (10:13:47 PM): my dad was panicking.
ElvenFairy29 (10:14:02 PM): my sister was outside and anxious...
ElvenFairy29 (10:14:12 PM): pesturing the nurse....
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:14 PM): only person that cared for me from day one was my sister... she rushed into the room before the nurse could wipe me clean....... and held me... all naked and bloody... she was the only one... and kissed me
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:18 PM): :-(
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:21 PM): I miss my sister
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:34 PM): I'm going to cry when I see her this christmas
ElvenFairy29 (10:15:39 PM): FUck I miss her
Stewart(10:16:12 PM): im sorry.
then a few minutes later I wrote an e-mail to my sister :
I was talking to a friend of mine... he took me out to the beach today and we had a good time.... it's 10:17 om and I'm finishing up some homework I had forgotten. he and I were talking about being good or bad.... and I stated neither. that when I die, I'll float in the clouds, alone like when I was born... and he stated that we're never alone... that when were born people stand to welcome us and once we leave people attend to give their goodbyes. I told him about how when I was born, you held me before anyone... and how even though I hadn't been cleaned off yet you didn't care and kissed me... then I started to cry. I'm still crying, First thing I do when I see you will probably be that... I miss having you around so much its overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like I've just lost everything in life, and it really sucks. I don't have much of a mother... and it's not like there's a father figure anywhere around me... closest things to a father figure are my guy friends... cause male family members are just people I know and care for... nothing parental about them. My brother... I love him but... not like he helps... he's busy trying to support himself anyway... so everything I need feels like it's gone. Only real thing I have left is you and tata... Tata cares and you and my friends... that's it...Just thought I'd let you know I love you...
-Natascha
I know to most of you this is emo-shit, But if you think that it's shitty and stupid, don't comment. It's personal and I'm posting it cause I care and I need to place it somewhere, why? I don't know.. I guess so people know why I'll act weird in december, and this week. Franco you'll be the first to criticise my "Hot Topic" attitude... and if your going to tell it to Nat or Brandy, cause I don't want your negative comment on here.
off to finish homework. sorry if my writing was unclear and choppy... but what can I say?-I'm tired.