The Language of People...?
Here's a Terry Lee nightmare:
I read at a message board that, a while back, Jean Pierre-Fux, an IFBB pro was doing 800 or 700 pound squats or something, and then on his second set, he somehow lost control and then he fell really hard and ripped all of his quad muscles completely off, basically ending his pro career. So later that night or maybe a couple of nights later, I had a dream where I ripped my pec completely off and it swelled to really gargantuan sizes and was full of blood and all this crap and was permanently weird shaped. For whatever reason, it was the most terrifying dream I've had in a long time.
I also don't even know how to take care of myself any more, apparently. I'm doing kinda lousy in 2/4 classes this quarter, and the only things that are saving me are that english classes are easy and that physics is also easy and nbio has a generous curve. I haven't shaven or taken a shower in like 3 days and I'm just sitting here like this enormous pile of crap. I did, on the bright side, clean and rearrange my room so now it's nice and sane looking, as opposed to the earlier trainwreck that was. But the room-cleaning wasn't any conscious decision of my own, it was mostly a result of physics midterm studyig avoidance protocols, in which I attempt to avoid studying physics for as long as I can because it's massively uninteresting. It doesn't really help that jeremys playing windwaker out in the living room and I can hear him and it sounds really fun because I think he keeps messing up on this one rope swinging part. Also, the music im listening to is putting me to sleep... it's really nice thought. I don't really feel like doing anything right now, except being a big douche, but then again, when do I not feel like that?
So there's this little red-headed girl that I kinda like, and I have a feeling she might like me, but I'm also weary of the situation, because i realized that I have no idea how to handle girls that I like. Girls that I don't like, that's fine, even easy, because then I don't give a fuck. But when something's really on the line, I basically end up looking like a big idiot. Oh, and also she keeps being really insane, which is not really the best of situations. So, in the end, I hope I'm not clinging to this just because I basically am kind of desperate to enter into a relationship (and yes, I do know all about how the best way to get into a relationship is to not be looking yadda yadda fuck it) but it certainly seems like the case, although this little red-headed girl is reallyyy cute in summer dresses, but that's not the only criterion for basing an attraction is it? God damnit. (Does this place me in a kind of charlie brown role? maybe that's best left unanswered)
On the plus side, I'm trying not to be less of an angry person. Last year, my mantle, my rallying cry was that I was a pissed off motherfucker and I wasn't going to take shit from any body and I was going to prove all you wrong and show you just how goddamn brilliant and successful and great I can be. And, of course, it didn't really work out all that well. I think I increased my XP in terms of resume things, but I don't really feel like a big man now, so I've changed my rallying cry to "lets all be nicer to each other" or something to that effect, which I think is more in line with where I want to go as a person.
Also, there's this actually really dazzlingly cute indian girl that's in my english class, but she's two years younger than me, and just kind of a really ridiculous person, and kind of what I want right now is someone that I can just sit around and be quiet with and maybe listen to soft rock. Yeah actually that sounds really great. Someone who will sit around and be quiet with me and maybe ask weird questions every now and then that are really amusing and have a lot to say about fun things like Africa and Batman and who will scratch my back and play with my hair and sometimes babysit borkinter and will cuddle and will , all around, just be really really sweet. Maybe brownie baking would be in order, also.
OR maybe I could try to find the man most like Freddie Mercury and try to go out with him. I've been listening to Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy almost the entire night, and I almost want to be gay now, or at least some kind of male prostitute.
Also, I'm really really really really scared that I'm dying or something like that. Oh yeah, about that dream earlier? I was trying to get back to old strength levels and I think I almost tore my pec! That was fucking scary... It hurt really bad, and felt funny for about 3 weeks so I had to sit out for awhile and only now have I been able to work up to almost as much strength as before... almost. Even then, I still have to watch out, or there will be that weird pain again. I think it's because my right pec is a lot stronger than my left pec, and so the right side lifts a lot faster and then the left side has to struggle by its own little self to put up the rest of the weight and then it just has to work extra hard for every rep. Also, what I've really come to enjoy doing is shoulders day, and I feel like because of it, I've made way more gains on back and chest day! For whatever reason, I can now dumbbell shoulder press as much as I could dumbbell bench three months ago, so that's definitely good. Almost as strong as the really jacked old guy at the IMA now.
Oh, and also my left quad, if left alone for about 20 minutes without heavy movement, will start to twitch really crazily almost every day now. It's really really concerning. Andy Sloming said that it might be due to potassium deficiency, so I've been timing my bananas better through the day, and that hasn't really done anything. So, as an aside, I've been learning spinal cord anatomy, and it certainly seems like what I'm going through may be slight nerve damage or something, but let's certainly hope not, and all of that could just be due to kind of bad form/no belt when I do barbell rows... maybe I should switch back to the smith machine, shit.
Also, it seems like everybody nowadays is 1000000x smarter than I am! Goddamnit! when did that happen!?!? ARggghhh its so frustrating, when I study my ass off for an anatomy midterm, and then get below the mean by 8 points AGAIN... FUCKKK motherfuckers... at least the curve is generous, or so I've been told.
okay, adieu
sorry to be getting emo in every single stupid post I make, but it's because LJing is something that I like doing when I'm emo, especially when it's being emo about girls, which is a lot of the time (hopefully not all, ugh)
I read at a message board that, a while back, Jean Pierre-Fux, an IFBB pro was doing 800 or 700 pound squats or something, and then on his second set, he somehow lost control and then he fell really hard and ripped all of his quad muscles completely off, basically ending his pro career. So later that night or maybe a couple of nights later, I had a dream where I ripped my pec completely off and it swelled to really gargantuan sizes and was full of blood and all this crap and was permanently weird shaped. For whatever reason, it was the most terrifying dream I've had in a long time.
I also don't even know how to take care of myself any more, apparently. I'm doing kinda lousy in 2/4 classes this quarter, and the only things that are saving me are that english classes are easy and that physics is also easy and nbio has a generous curve. I haven't shaven or taken a shower in like 3 days and I'm just sitting here like this enormous pile of crap. I did, on the bright side, clean and rearrange my room so now it's nice and sane looking, as opposed to the earlier trainwreck that was. But the room-cleaning wasn't any conscious decision of my own, it was mostly a result of physics midterm studyig avoidance protocols, in which I attempt to avoid studying physics for as long as I can because it's massively uninteresting. It doesn't really help that jeremys playing windwaker out in the living room and I can hear him and it sounds really fun because I think he keeps messing up on this one rope swinging part. Also, the music im listening to is putting me to sleep... it's really nice thought. I don't really feel like doing anything right now, except being a big douche, but then again, when do I not feel like that?
So there's this little red-headed girl that I kinda like, and I have a feeling she might like me, but I'm also weary of the situation, because i realized that I have no idea how to handle girls that I like. Girls that I don't like, that's fine, even easy, because then I don't give a fuck. But when something's really on the line, I basically end up looking like a big idiot. Oh, and also she keeps being really insane, which is not really the best of situations. So, in the end, I hope I'm not clinging to this just because I basically am kind of desperate to enter into a relationship (and yes, I do know all about how the best way to get into a relationship is to not be looking yadda yadda fuck it) but it certainly seems like the case, although this little red-headed girl is reallyyy cute in summer dresses, but that's not the only criterion for basing an attraction is it? God damnit. (Does this place me in a kind of charlie brown role? maybe that's best left unanswered)
On the plus side, I'm trying not to be less of an angry person. Last year, my mantle, my rallying cry was that I was a pissed off motherfucker and I wasn't going to take shit from any body and I was going to prove all you wrong and show you just how goddamn brilliant and successful and great I can be. And, of course, it didn't really work out all that well. I think I increased my XP in terms of resume things, but I don't really feel like a big man now, so I've changed my rallying cry to "lets all be nicer to each other" or something to that effect, which I think is more in line with where I want to go as a person.
Also, there's this actually really dazzlingly cute indian girl that's in my english class, but she's two years younger than me, and just kind of a really ridiculous person, and kind of what I want right now is someone that I can just sit around and be quiet with and maybe listen to soft rock. Yeah actually that sounds really great. Someone who will sit around and be quiet with me and maybe ask weird questions every now and then that are really amusing and have a lot to say about fun things like Africa and Batman and who will scratch my back and play with my hair and sometimes babysit borkinter and will cuddle and will , all around, just be really really sweet. Maybe brownie baking would be in order, also.
OR maybe I could try to find the man most like Freddie Mercury and try to go out with him. I've been listening to Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy almost the entire night, and I almost want to be gay now, or at least some kind of male prostitute.
Also, I'm really really really really scared that I'm dying or something like that. Oh yeah, about that dream earlier? I was trying to get back to old strength levels and I think I almost tore my pec! That was fucking scary... It hurt really bad, and felt funny for about 3 weeks so I had to sit out for awhile and only now have I been able to work up to almost as much strength as before... almost. Even then, I still have to watch out, or there will be that weird pain again. I think it's because my right pec is a lot stronger than my left pec, and so the right side lifts a lot faster and then the left side has to struggle by its own little self to put up the rest of the weight and then it just has to work extra hard for every rep. Also, what I've really come to enjoy doing is shoulders day, and I feel like because of it, I've made way more gains on back and chest day! For whatever reason, I can now dumbbell shoulder press as much as I could dumbbell bench three months ago, so that's definitely good. Almost as strong as the really jacked old guy at the IMA now.
Oh, and also my left quad, if left alone for about 20 minutes without heavy movement, will start to twitch really crazily almost every day now. It's really really concerning. Andy Sloming said that it might be due to potassium deficiency, so I've been timing my bananas better through the day, and that hasn't really done anything. So, as an aside, I've been learning spinal cord anatomy, and it certainly seems like what I'm going through may be slight nerve damage or something, but let's certainly hope not, and all of that could just be due to kind of bad form/no belt when I do barbell rows... maybe I should switch back to the smith machine, shit.
Also, it seems like everybody nowadays is 1000000x smarter than I am! Goddamnit! when did that happen!?!? ARggghhh its so frustrating, when I study my ass off for an anatomy midterm, and then get below the mean by 8 points AGAIN... FUCKKK motherfuckers... at least the curve is generous, or so I've been told.
okay, adieu
sorry to be getting emo in every single stupid post I make, but it's because LJing is something that I like doing when I'm emo, especially when it's being emo about girls, which is a lot of the time (hopefully not all, ugh)