Oops. Whoops. At least it's not Poops.
I botched my hair cut. We'll see if I can bring it back from the dead. I might have to just let somebody else touch my hair for once. The last time I really messed up a hair cut, I was at the start of my post-Katrina semester and I knew I didn't care. I remembered laughing and thinking it was wonderful to be so confident that I could do no wrong (especially in something as silly and unimportant as hair care). It sort of feels goofy to be in a situation where I don't feel that free anymore. But balance in all things. I guess it's good to care a little sometimes.
This weekend, I spent a lot of time with some very nice people who unintentionally made it very clear how affected my aesthetics are. I mean, I always know that it's a bit of a pretense to act like you have no pretense. I always hear DNR talking (he's got this lecture where some Greek boys walk into a theater and they're from a town where everybody wears jewelry and does their hair and wears pretty robes... and the famous greek guy in the theater yells "affectation!" and then these boys from another town come in and they're all muddied and sullied and intentionally dirty and uncaring about their appearance and odor, and the famous greek guy yells "MORE AFFECTATION!"). But it really struck home this weekend.
I always kind of just guide myself on comfort level. I feel comfortable looking a certain degree of sloven. It's just my zone. But then I wasn't really comfortable this weekend. And I'm not really comfortable with this botched hair cut. What if I'm changing? I'm cool with waking up in a year and being a guy who cares a little bit more about how he looks, but what if it's some wild spiraling descent into being a douchebag? So here's the thing, livejournal friends: if I look like I'm in a downward spiral to becoming a tool, stop me and say something like "Hey, Ryan, are you really comfortable with the person you're pretending to be?" If I forget that I wrote this post, I will probably be like "Whoa, you are like a voice inside my head that has captured my gentle, critical tone perfectly!"
This weekend, I spent a lot of time with some very nice people who unintentionally made it very clear how affected my aesthetics are. I mean, I always know that it's a bit of a pretense to act like you have no pretense. I always hear DNR talking (he's got this lecture where some Greek boys walk into a theater and they're from a town where everybody wears jewelry and does their hair and wears pretty robes... and the famous greek guy in the theater yells "affectation!" and then these boys from another town come in and they're all muddied and sullied and intentionally dirty and uncaring about their appearance and odor, and the famous greek guy yells "MORE AFFECTATION!"). But it really struck home this weekend.
I always kind of just guide myself on comfort level. I feel comfortable looking a certain degree of sloven. It's just my zone. But then I wasn't really comfortable this weekend. And I'm not really comfortable with this botched hair cut. What if I'm changing? I'm cool with waking up in a year and being a guy who cares a little bit more about how he looks, but what if it's some wild spiraling descent into being a douchebag? So here's the thing, livejournal friends: if I look like I'm in a downward spiral to becoming a tool, stop me and say something like "Hey, Ryan, are you really comfortable with the person you're pretending to be?" If I forget that I wrote this post, I will probably be like "Whoa, you are like a voice inside my head that has captured my gentle, critical tone perfectly!"