my love life
i'm in deeply in love w/ God, but at the same time i think i like/love this guy(of course, not as much as i love God) haha..it sounds weird for me to call him a guy because sometimes i feel like he's my brother. anyways, yes, i have mentioned him before and.....it was hard for me to focus on studying because of him sometimes. i can't even tell him i like him because i don't want to get rejected and make our relationship all awkward, and that would make my college life hard. all i want to say is that i try to forget him, but it's not as easy as it seems. maybe i could do that if i didn't see him often, but no. i think it's time for me to focus on studying to step closer to my goal. well, i need to learn to be responsible. i've been slacking off and faced the consequences, so i really need to do all my hw, meaning every homework assignment. perhaps when i am ready to have a serious relationship w/ him, i will tell him..wait, no..i just want to wait... maybe he might never tell me that he likes me or maybe he doesn't even like me in the first place and i'm just getting the wrong idea from his actions towards me, which he meant nothing while doing it. maybe he does all those sweet things to every girl, and i just interpreted them wrong. if he doesn't like me, then i want this stupid helpless feeling to go away because i don't want to get hurt. i get hurt easily, and that's why i don't like guys who are mean to me or who have nooooo interest in me. maybe i started to like him not only because i felt something strong from him but because he was really nice to me. i tend to fall for the mind of caring....and guess what? he is caring......there! it's not that much of a secret now. i'm just going to see what God wants me to do ...and he really feels about me.. i don't want to be that silly bora anymore.