1st- no arguments here. The frustrating part is that I talked to my mother about it this morning and- it's like she rewrites history or something. She was all 'what he was trying to say was that you need to be more responsible'. Okay. I get that. But unfortunately calling me worthless and disparaging my intelligence and saying he's sick of my face doesn't really convey that message.
The single most honest thing I heard in his entire rant was 'you're unhappy, I'm unhappy, you need to find somewhere else where you can do what you want and be happy'. That, I'm behind. It's the getting there that freaks me out.
2nd- *clings to that belief* I hope it's a case where once I'm out on my own, I'll look back at my insecurities and be amused at how scared I was for no reason. I hope.
3rd- seriously, you being there for me is the most important thing. I wouldn't be coping as well without friends like you helping me to keep things in perspective and telling me to believe in myself.
4th- cool cool. ^_^
5th- *bites lip* It always amazes me when people act like I'm someone worth knowing and that I come off as awesome. *hugs tight* My self-esteem, you guys do so much for it.
1- Your mom is abused as well and she's going to defend your father. He's an ass. No one deserves to be treated the way he treats either of you. The things he said to you, you're right, that is totally the wrong way to convey the message.
When I moved out at 18 to go to college in North GA, I was scared. I was always pretty shy except with my close circle of friends. It was hard but I got used to it. Called my mom a LOT during that time. I made it, so can you.
2 - You might be amazed and you might wonder why it took you so long to do it.
3 - I'm just trying to pay it forward for all the times my mom was there for me. I have no kids (except for my nieces & nephews. You're about the same age as my BoogerBear (oldest niece) and I hope she has someone like me in her life because I'm so far away from her) so I try to help out those younger than me (without hopefully sounding like some of the older folks who used to try and give me advice about life. *rolleyes*) by doing what my mom has always done, listen without judgement and teach tolerance and acceptance.
4 - Don't get too excited yet. I haven't done it yet. ;-b
5 - You ARE WORTHY OF LOVE Always have been, always will be. It's a shame your dad refuses to see how awesome you are.
1. At least she gets to shout back at him, there's a bit of inequality between husband/wife and father/daughter. I feel like it's harder for me because I'm in the subordinate role. And she chooses to stay with him, and while they fight a lot, they also have a lot of times where it's laughter and lovey-dovey and happy. I never have that with him. (nor would I want to, but I'd have settled for indifference)
2. That'd be the best-case scenario!
3. Haha, you're nothing like those annoying older folk who prod and pry and impart their great 'wisdom' that makes others grit their teeth in irritation. I value your ability to listen and support without being critical. (your mom sounds amazing, btw)
5. Well, playing devil's advocate, I guess he doesn't see much to love, what with me failing classes and not having a brilliant career. It just makes me resentful that he apparently can't love me unless I have certain qualifications. Why would I want to impress this man if that's his attitude?
1- regardless, she's just as abused. I'm glad they have happy moments, but seems to me she walks on egg shells around him a lot. That to me is NOT a happy marriage. Neither partner should feel the need to walk on egg shells around the other all the time. Occasionally I can see it but as a general rule, no.
2 - Then I suggest that is your aim. Look at this as a way to amaze yourself with how strong you really are.
3 - I HATED those types when I was your age so I try not to repeat it. Just because someone is younger than me doesn't mean they haven't lived life or had hard times.
5 - Again ,your dad is an ass. He probably didn't have any examples of unconditional love so he's continuing the cycle he knows with you. I don't blame you for not wanting to impress him because it sounds like even if you had the most awesome, highest paying career that you loved, he would still find fault.
6 - well don't get used to it. Hey, what happened to 4? ;-b LOL
I'm sorry, but your father makes me angry. My dad's the same way, exploding over small things. But mine (so far) hasn't threatened to kick me out. Honestly, it makes me want to cry that your father doesn't take the time to understand and talk about what you're going through, and help you. I wish I could help. :-(
I don't know...I just want to share this song (hopefully it'll give you some hope) and hug you. *Hugs*
The single most honest thing I heard in his entire rant was 'you're unhappy, I'm unhappy, you need to find somewhere else where you can do what you want and be happy'. That, I'm behind. It's the getting there that freaks me out.
2nd- *clings to that belief* I hope it's a case where once I'm out on my own, I'll look back at my insecurities and be amused at how scared I was for no reason. I hope.
3rd- seriously, you being there for me is the most important thing. I wouldn't be coping as well without friends like you helping me to keep things in perspective and telling me to believe in myself.
4th- cool cool. ^_^
5th- *bites lip* It always amazes me when people act like I'm someone worth knowing and that I come off as awesome. *hugs tight* My self-esteem, you guys do so much for it.
6th- lol, I like it! Yay for lists!
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When I moved out at 18 to go to college in North GA, I was scared. I was always pretty shy except with my close circle of friends. It was hard but I got used to it. Called my mom a LOT during that time. I made it, so can you.
2 - You might be amazed and you might wonder why it took you so long to do it.
3 - I'm just trying to pay it forward for all the times my mom was there for me. I have no kids (except for my nieces & nephews. You're about the same age as my BoogerBear (oldest niece) and I hope she has someone like me in her life because I'm so far away from her) so I try to help out those younger than me (without hopefully sounding like some of the older folks who used to try and give me advice about life. *rolleyes*) by doing what my mom has always done, listen without judgement and teach tolerance and acceptance.
4 - Don't get too excited yet. I haven't done it yet. ;-b
5 - You ARE WORTHY OF LOVE Always have been, always will be. It's a shame your dad refuses to see how awesome you are.
6 - But lists are so unlike me. LOL
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2. That'd be the best-case scenario!
3. Haha, you're nothing like those annoying older folk who prod and pry and impart their great 'wisdom' that makes others grit their teeth in irritation. I value your ability to listen and support without being critical. (your mom sounds amazing, btw)
5. Well, playing devil's advocate, I guess he doesn't see much to love, what with me failing classes and not having a brilliant career. It just makes me resentful that he apparently can't love me unless I have certain qualifications. Why would I want to impress this man if that's his attitude?
6. I approve of this new habit. :P
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2 - Then I suggest that is your aim. Look at this as a way to amaze yourself with how strong you really are.
3 - I HATED those types when I was your age so I try not to repeat it. Just because someone is younger than me doesn't mean they haven't lived life or had hard times.
5 - Again ,your dad is an ass. He probably didn't have any examples of unconditional love so he's continuing the cycle he knows with you. I don't blame you for not wanting to impress him because it sounds like even if you had the most awesome, highest paying career that you loved, he would still find fault.
6 - well don't get used to it. Hey, what happened to 4? ;-b LOL
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I don't know...I just want to share this song (hopefully it'll give you some hope) and hug you. *Hugs*
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