Days Like These
The other day a female friend of mine, married, said that she was interested in me and since she and her husband have an open relationship, he encouraged her to try to have a go with me. Le awkward to say the least. One of my friends is pushing me to go for it since he insists "sex with married women is the best sex." He doesn't seem to understand that I just can't. It crosses a morality line I have. I think it was a bit of a shock to her that I would be "a bit of a traditionalist" about this kind of thing, especially considering many of the crowd we know each other via have very "untraditional" marriages/relationships and I've never shown any problem with them.
The whole situation and the possible fallout affecting friendships was stewing in my head and I suddenly wished I could call up my buddy Ray to talk this through. He died five years ago this time of year and the grief hit me like a sledgehammer to the chest. Usually I'm insanely busy during January and February and it serves as an excellent distraction. There's nothing to distract me now. The reminder that I haven't had a chance to visit his grave yet hits me randomly and I can't breathe.
I feel stalled. I'm barely applying for jobs because it feels soul-draining thinking of working for somebody else(with one exception I'm so overqualified for there's no way I'm getting it). I'm not really moving forward on the business ideas I have because every time I sit down to work on it I'm flooded with lethargy. Helping friends remodel their new house and working a bit on mine is taking up most of my days because it's the only thing I feel any sort of energy to do. Steampunk activities are the only thing that really excite me right now but, even though I directly influenced a new Hard Rock Hotel group T-Shirt design series, I can't figure out how to make money off of it.
I'm tired.
The whole situation and the possible fallout affecting friendships was stewing in my head and I suddenly wished I could call up my buddy Ray to talk this through. He died five years ago this time of year and the grief hit me like a sledgehammer to the chest. Usually I'm insanely busy during January and February and it serves as an excellent distraction. There's nothing to distract me now. The reminder that I haven't had a chance to visit his grave yet hits me randomly and I can't breathe.
I feel stalled. I'm barely applying for jobs because it feels soul-draining thinking of working for somebody else(with one exception I'm so overqualified for there's no way I'm getting it). I'm not really moving forward on the business ideas I have because every time I sit down to work on it I'm flooded with lethargy. Helping friends remodel their new house and working a bit on mine is taking up most of my days because it's the only thing I feel any sort of energy to do. Steampunk activities are the only thing that really excite me right now but, even though I directly influenced a new Hard Rock Hotel group T-Shirt design series, I can't figure out how to make money off of it.
I'm tired.