Bye guys.
I don't know if I can feel any more disconnected from everything and everyone in Marin.
When people do call me to make plans, they turn around and cancel them. People say they'll call me back, they don't. Or no one calls me at all.
I feel exactly like Bridget has been describing; lonely and ugly.
At some point I thought I had friends that would have liked to just be with me rather than have me jump through hoops in order for me to be there with them. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of having to call half of you before Amelia does, because god fucking forbid that we're in the same room as each other. And I'm sick of my other friends making plans with me then calling me last minute (whereas if they called me sooner, I could've made other plans) to tell me that they will in fact be with some people who don't want to cart another person they don't know around. The worst part about it is that none of my friends feel the need to even put a good word in for me, which doesn't just say something about my friends but myself as well.
It's gotten to the point where it's very obvious to see where I fall on a list of priorities.
I could feel sad, but I'm more furious than anything. I hate this, I hate it here.
I only have three more weeks until I move to Santa Barbara. And less than two weeks until my birthday. I don't expect anything to get better by that point. But at least I have something to look forward to.
When people do call me to make plans, they turn around and cancel them. People say they'll call me back, they don't. Or no one calls me at all.
I feel exactly like Bridget has been describing; lonely and ugly.
At some point I thought I had friends that would have liked to just be with me rather than have me jump through hoops in order for me to be there with them. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of having to call half of you before Amelia does, because god fucking forbid that we're in the same room as each other. And I'm sick of my other friends making plans with me then calling me last minute (whereas if they called me sooner, I could've made other plans) to tell me that they will in fact be with some people who don't want to cart another person they don't know around. The worst part about it is that none of my friends feel the need to even put a good word in for me, which doesn't just say something about my friends but myself as well.
It's gotten to the point where it's very obvious to see where I fall on a list of priorities.
I could feel sad, but I'm more furious than anything. I hate this, I hate it here.
I only have three more weeks until I move to Santa Barbara. And less than two weeks until my birthday. I don't expect anything to get better by that point. But at least I have something to look forward to.