Do you feel it?
I see the long shaggy hair and boyish faces, traveling to the beat of some internal drum. The sun shoots rays from one direction, and I can’t deny the fact that the day has begun. Some think of the horses, others let themselves feel numb. The library is warm and quiet from where I sit, with my legs crossed, my hair pinned up with a much too large Guatemalan clip. Shirts of magentas and navy blues keep walking past nonchalantly, yet peeking at the screen of my computer. Their eyes whisper a curiosity of life outside of our own. The subjects on my computer screen are something unknown! I ignore the shadows that come and fade before my feet. My voice is raspy and my lips are curled up into a impulsive smile. I’ve made a conscious effort to be happy, and put all trivial doubts and feelings aside. Last night I sat in the bath, just amazed at the comfort from the warm water that engulfed me. I’ve recognized and made amends. My heart still beats with a startling rapidity, but I am not alarmed. I just want to get past this pallid stage of my life. I’m just so amazed with everything, and there is no reason that sadness should run my life. I want parties with my beautiful friends, where the music will be played loud, and our dancing will leave our hips sore. I want afternoons so cold that I will stay inside and drink tea, and read inspiring books that will fill my mind with thoughts that warm my insides. I want nights where I can curl up in bed with someone that I care about, and we can laugh and poke and joke, spewing fanciful words and drawing pictures underneath the sheets! Oh oh oh, I’m ready. This is my declaration to feel love.