Believe me, Part 1
Anthony Padilla was walking quickly along the unusually quiet street, coughing a little at the cold air filling his lungs and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He walked with determination, knowing exactly where he was headed. The dark haired boy was looking for a certain best friend, who had gone out earlier that evening and hadn’t come back. That was now exactly two hours and twenty-one minutes ago, Anthony noticed after a quick glance at his cellphone. He zipped his hooded jacket up all the way, shoving his hands in his pockets again, speeding up a little. Almost there. Anthony had been worrying about Ian for a while now, due to his friend’s frequent late-night walks as of late. Ian hadn’t been himself for a long while, and Anthony had no idea what was wrong. He could often hear Ian walking around the house in the middle of the night, apparently having trouble sleeping. He didn’t eat very much, and he was a lot quieter than he usual. Where before there had been an over-excited, laughing, funny Ian was now silent and mostly confined to his own room in his spare time. The only times he acted like himself was on camera, and it was almost amazing to witness the transformation. Ian was goofing around, joking, being sarcastic and witty, just like before, as soon as there was a lens around.
Anthony suspected the whole thing had something to do with Melanie breaking up with Ian around the same time his friend had started to act like a shadow of his former self. To everyone else, they had seemed fine, so the break-up had come as a big shock. But Ian seemed to not be able to talk about it or get over it on his own. Anthony understood full well that Ian would be down because his girlfriend left him, but he thought Ian had been depressed for a little too long now. Tonight, he decided, he was going to confront Ian about it.
Finally reaching his destination, Anthony found his best friend standing on the bridge he so often went to, looking down into the river water underneath. He let out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding, relieved that Ian was OK. Anthony stood for a second, watching his friend. Ian was leaning on the railing, shoulders hung and arms crossed over his chest. He stared intently down into the water, as if wishing he was down there and floating along with it. There was something in Ian’s posture that told Anthony his friend was fragile at that moment. But maybe it could have been just the scenery around them; cars passing by in a rush, stars in the sky, the neon lights of the city and Ian standing there alone in the middle of it, or it could have been the way Ian was practically hugging himself, as if he was cold and lonely. Anthony decided on a careful approach, even though he wanted to run over to his friend and shake him -hard- until he understood that he couldn’t just leave and be gone for hours without letting Anthony know where he was.
“Hey,” Anthony said quietly, as he came to stand by Ian’s side. “You’ve been here for quite some time now.” He looked at Ian sideways, but his friend’s expression didn’t change one bit. Ian had probably expected to be found soon.
“Yeah. Sorry about that, I guess.”
Stone. That was the best way to describe Ian right now.
“What are you doing out here, then?” Anthony kept his voice calm and low, wanting Ian to know that he wasn’t angry with him, knowing that his friend could get defensive.
“Just thinking, I guess.”
“About what?”
“You know, just .. stuff,” Ian’s gaze moved up towards the sky. His eyes were somehow watery, as if he’d been staring at the river for too long, and now his eyes started to flood as well.
“Look, I don’t know what’s been bothering you lately, but you’re not yourself. Wanna tell me what’s going on? I’ll help you with whatever,” Anthony turned his body fully, facing Ian, and speaking with concern and kindness.
“I .. I don’t know, Anthony. It’s stupid, and you’ll think I’m a total pussy,” Ian drew his jacket a little tighter around himself, as if contracting into a shell. Anthony frowned. Whatever it was that was bothering Ian, it must have been eating away at his friend’s mind for a very long time.
“Come on man, I’ve known you since I was, like, eleven. I don’t think there’s anything you can tell me that’s gonna make me think you’re a pussy. Besides, you know way too much crap about me, so I can’t really make fun of you, can I.” Anthony put on a slightly cheeky grin, and the corners of Ian’s mouth twitched upwards. “But seriously dude, you know you can tell me anything. So spit it out.”
Ian looked up at Anthony for the first time that night, contemplating if he really should spill his guts and tell the dark haired boy everything. He knew it was a stupid thing to be so upset about, and he was probably just bitching, but the voice in his head just would not shut up. It had been gnawing away at his mind for years now, and more intensely so over the last few months. But Ian figured that the worst thing that could happen if he told the truth was probably just Anthony telling him to quit the bitching and proceed to take him home. So Ian went for it. Sighing, he looked down at his hands.
“Well, I guess it’s Melanie. I never expected her to just .. leave me like that. But the thing is, she told me that she’d found someone better. You know, better looking, lives closer and all that. So I started wondering why I always struggle to get a girlfriend, and if I do, it never lasts very long. And I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all because I’m just plain ugly. I look worse than firetrucking Lindsey Lohan before rehab. Girls are just simply repulsed by me. I guess that's why Melanie never really wanted to touch me anyways. And I know what you’re gonna say; that people shouldn’t judge me by the way I look, and true love is all based on personality and all that crap, but the truth is,” Ian took a deep breath, shoulders slightly shuddering. “People do judge you by your looks. They can’t help it, and they shouldn't deny it. Your looks are a huge part of the first impression you make on others, and people are going to judge you by it whether they want to or not. Even if they go around saying that looks don’t matter. So I’ve guess I’m doomed. I’m too damn hideous to ever get any of the girls I want, and to be honest, it’s kinda depressing.” Ian sniffed, almost startled himself by the outpour of emotion that was coming from him. A tinge of desperation had made its way into his voice.
“Wow, I ..” Anthony stood a little wide eyed, utterly surprised by Ian’s words. “I didn’t know you felt this way-”
“I know I sound like a little teenage girl on her period,” Ian said quickly. “I just .. I can’t help that it’s bugging me. I’ve tried to make it go away, and convince myself that I just have to be myself, a.k.a act like a total clown, and then girls will like me for my sense of humor. But I’ve been rejected so many times, and now Melanie left me for some assface guido who won the genetic lottery. It’s really starting to wear down on me, Ant. I just can’t help it.”
Anthony could hear the quiver in Ian’s voice, and knew that his friend was on the verge of breaking. It took him a moment to realize just how serious this was, and then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Some people were their own worst critic and could be incredibly harsh upon themselves. Anthony always knew that Ian constantly strived to do his best, and that he’d for example never give up on shooting a scene until it was perfect, and even then he found small things about his own work to criticize. But Anthony never knew Ian had been judging himself and his appearance so hard and for so long. Anthony understood though, that this went way back before Melanie, if he really thought about it. Ian had often been, well, joked around with in high-school. Not exactly bullied, maybe, at least not when Anthony was watching, but he knew Ian was often referred to “the little ugly, chubby kid” behind his back. And on a few occasions, directly to his face as well. The dark haired boy couldn’t understand why. Because the words used to describe his friend in high-school, was nowhere near what Anthony saw when he looked at his best friend.
“Hey, Ian, look at me ..” Anthony spoke softly. When his friend didn’t move, Anthony reached out to place two fingers on Ian’s jaw, turning his head to him and taking a light hold of his chin. This forced Ian to look into his eyes, and Anthony’s heart broke a little at the defeat and sadness he saw behind those big blues.
“Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?” Anthony took a step closer, willing Ian to focus on him and only him, willing his friend to listen to his words and understand them. Ian swallowed, and blinked the wetness out of his eyes.
“I see someone who’s been here with me for almost as long as I can remember. You’ve stood by me through all sorts of crazy stages of my life, and you’ve never once let me down. You always make me laugh like an idiot every day, and it’s like everyone’s mood brightens up a little as soon as you enter the room. You put up with my grumpy ass every morning, you always know exactly what I’m feeling and I know you’ll always be there for me. You always make others feel good about themselves. You’re hard-working and dedicated, with the most incredible sense of humor ever.” Anthony spoke with conviction, laying as much intensity and meaning behind his words as he possibly could. He felt Ian’s jaw tighten. Anthony gave his friend a small smile, and continued.
“As for your physical appearance, I don’t see what’s wrong with you. Odd hair maybe, yes, buit suits you just right. It wouldn’t really be you without that haircut, you know?. Your eyes are amazing, though, I really think so. When I look at you, I don’t see someone who’s ugly and won’t ever have someone love him. I see my best friend, and I like everything about him. And if all this doesn’t make you a beautiful person, then I don’t know what will.” Anthony stared intently into Ian’s eyes, as one single tear finally rolled down his friend’s cheek. It ran all the way down to Ian’s chin, and Anthony wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.
A huge truck sped by on the bridge, and the two boys standing alone under the glowing street lights were startled by the sudden harsh draft. Anthony let go of Ian’s chin, and looked down at the ground almost coyly.
“I don’t know if this means anything to you coming from me, since I’m a guy and all, but I don’t want you going around thinking no one likes you because you’re unattractive or something. Hell, I’ve stuck with you for all these years, and according to your own theory about people subconsciously judging others by their looks, that wouldn’t have happened if I was repulsed by you. And I’m sure the same thing goes for a lot of your female friends too.”
Ian suppressed the urge to break down and cry like the little teenage girl that apparently lived inside him. Indeed he had been thinking about his high-school years, and for some stupid reason, it was coming back to him a little. Things like that were so incredibly hard to erase from your memory. He was amazed at how Anthony could just stand there, calm and collected, and tell him that he thought Ian was a beautiful person, inside and out. Could it really be true? Was it really possible for someone to think of him as handsome? Ian had a hard time believing it. But still, it was incredibly nice of Anthony to speak to him like that. Ian tried to collect himself, and then did something rather uncharacteristic. He stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around his “bestest friend in the whole world”. He pressed their bodies together, trembling slightly, and wishing for Anthony to feel how much he appreciated the comfort of his friend. Ian pressed is face into Anthony’s neck for a second, whispering a sincere “thank you”. At least for trying, he added in his mind.
Anthony smiled and turned his face into Ian’s hair, giving his friend a little squeeze before letting him go. “Now what do you say I take you home now, huh?” Anthony smiled warmly. Ian sniffed once more, and nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Come on, my car is right over there.” Anthony laid an arm across Ian’s shoulders, and led him back to his black Scion. The ride home was silent, and that was perfectly fine with both of them. Anthony still noticed that Ian was looking out of the window, still appearing defeated and unhappy. The darker brunette furrowed his brows together, and while keeping his eyes on the road he wondered if Ian had really believed him. Could it be that the dark thoughts that haunted his friends went so deep, that simply trying to verbally convince him otherwise was not enough? Was there even anything more that Anthony could do? He still pondered this as he pulled up in their driveway, for once not bothering to go and open the garage door to park his car inside. He and Ian got out, and went inside. Anthony noted that it was going to be a beautiful night, clear skies and fresh air, and an almost full moon that should have created a comforting atmosphere. But something was nagging in Anthony’s stomach, the feeling that Ian still wasn’t okay.
“You want anything to eat?” Anthony asked once they were inside.
“No, I’m good,” was the response. “I think you’ve had enough trouble with me for tonight, so I’ll just go to bed. Thanks for bringing me home, though.”
“No problem ..” A slightly awkward silence arose. Anthony shifted uncomfortably.
“Right. I’ll see you in the morning then.” Ian turned, and went to make his way to the bedroom, but Anthony’s voice reached him before he got very far.
“Hey Ian, I .. you still look troubled. Are you sure you’re ok?” Anthony was genuinely worried.
“Yeah, sure. I just need to sleep and I’ll be all right. Sorry for being such an emotional train wreck tonight, I promise I’ll grow up by tomorrow.” Ian’s shoulders were tense despite the forced smile on his face, and all in all he appeared a little stiff and avoided looking directly at his friend. Anthony sighed inwardly. He could tell Ian was lying, both to himself and to Anthony. He walked over to his friend, not able to let him walk away without clearing this up.
“You didn’t really believe me out there on the bridge, did you.” It wasn’t a question, but an observation. Ian looked down.
“I .. I want to believe you, but there are so many things that tell me I can’t. You don’t know what it feels like Ant, you’ve never had any problems with the way you look. You can have any girl you want, while I’m stuck with being the ugly one who constantly makes an ass out of himself so everyone can laugh, only to feel like he’s worth something. This feeling, it .. doesn’t just go away, even if you are the one telling it to.”
Ian’s voice was hollow, and he wouldn’t stop staring at the ground. For the second time that night, Anthony’s heart broke for his friend. Ian sounded so helpless, so broken and scarred, and all Anthony wanted at that moment was to wipe that frown off his friend’s face. He had to think of something, for the sake of Ian’s sanity. If these thoughts kept eating away at him, it could fully destroy all of Ian’s self confidence. And then Ian wouldn’t be the same ever again. He wouldn’t be the cheerful guy that made everyone laugh, he wouldn’t be genius writer of the Smosh-skits, he wouldn’t be the life in the house and Anthony would lose his best friend. That thought alone was unbearable. Ian Hecox was the bright light in the lives of all of his close friends, and nothing would be the same if Ian’s dark thoughts destroyed him. And Anthony realized something that always should have been obvious; he couldn’t possibly go on with his life without a smiling, happy Ian by his side. He would have to do something. Something drastic.
Anthony tentatively reached out a hand and took hold of his friend’s wrist, tugging at it and taking a few steps backwards towards Ian’s bedroom. A bundle of nerves was tightening in his stomach, wondering if this would really work, but Anthony steeled himself.
“Come” he said simply. Ian followed with a questioning look.
Anthony led them into the room, stopping right beside the bed. His hand went from Ian’s wrist to cup the side of his neck, and he took a shaky breath. This had to work.
“Ian, if you don’t believe me when I say you’re good looking, if it’s so hard for you to think that somebody could want you, you’re wrong. I said it before; I like everything about you. And I’ll prove it to you, if you’ll let me.”
“What do you mean?” Ian asked cautiously, brows furrowed in question.
Anthony didn’t answer. He let his hand go a little higher, fingertips sliding into Ian’s hair as he stepped forward. He looked his friend deeply in the eyes, before leaning in and pressing a small kiss to the corner of Ian’s mouth. The skin was soft, as Ian had shaved that morning, and he felt his friend tense under his touch. When Anthony drew back, Ian had a look of both shock and disbelief on his face.
“I mean that I’ll show you how attractive you are, because I won’t let you walk around thinking you are hideous. And yes, I am willing to go all the way.” Anthony spoke confidently, trying to convince both Ian and himself that he was sure of this. That this was the right thing to do. He saw the confusion on his friends face, and smirked briefly.
“Don’t worry, I’ve .. uhm .. sorta done this before, if you know what I mean. I haven’t really told you, cause I didn’t know how you’d react and I wasn’t completely sure myself,” he said. Anthony had to look down for a second, feeling a little embarrassed by his little confession.
“So, do you mean that you’re .. gay?” Ian asked, dumbfounded. The soft moonlight coming in through the bedroom window fell across his face, making the blue irises glow.
“Not really, I mean, I still prefer girls, but.. with you I don’t think there’s going to be any problem.”
Anthony managed to smile warmly at Ian, something in the back of his mind telling him he wanted this. Honestly, he hadn’t ever really thought of sleeping with his friend before. He assumed that it was just not the right thing to do, as it could possibly ruin their friendship. Ian was kinda just off-limits. But now was different. This time, he’d lose Ian if he didn’t do it. Anthony’s eyes roamed over Ian’s body once, looking at him with different thoughts in mind than usual, and decided. Yes, he could totally do this.
“But Anthony, are you sure you want this? I mean, I don’t even know how .. I don’t even know if I can - ..” Ian was stuttering, the words not wanting to come properly out of his mouth. To be honest, he was feeling a little scared. Anthony grabbed both his shoulders, and looked at him with determination.
“Ian, I won’t let you destroy yourself. If this is what it takes to make you realize that someone could want you, then I’ll do it. And I promise, I’ll make you enjoy it. After that, we’ll go back to normal. You’ll go back to normal. Please Ian, I need my best friend back. Please let me do this for you.” Anthony’s voice turned from determined to begging, and Ian could feel how much concern Anthony held for him. The big brown eyes were pleading, and Ian knew that Anthony only wanted the best for him. Ian found himself wondering if Anthony really could go through with this. He was still quite shocked at the dark haired boy’s confession just moments ago, but even if that was true, could someone like Anthony really want someone like Ian? His head spun, with so many thoughts pressing on at the same time.
Anthony is bi?! And he wants to have sex with me? I am too disgusting! Aren’t I supposed to refuse it, since I’m straight? Will it really feel good? What do I say to this?! Will he really touch me?
All these thoughts were incredibly confused, disgusted and curious at the same time, and they made Ian’s head hurt. And then, before Ian even had time to arrange his thoughts to figure out how to respond, Anthony got tired of waiting. He leaned in, and placed a soft, lingering kiss on Ian’s cheek. Ian’s eyes fell shut at the sensation, and he felt Anthony’s lips slowly work their way down. And then he felt the warm touch on the corner of his mouth again, and his core trembled. He heard himself take a deep breath through his nose as Anthony finally kissed him fully on the mouth. The tendons in his neck tensed, and Ian’s whole world spun around for a few moments. The kiss was gentle, soft, and a little unsure, but it held a promise. Anthony pulled back to look into Ian’s eyes, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb. Ian hadn’t even noticed Anthony’s hand coming up to cup his cheek. Ian made a small noise in the back of his throat, riding an emotional rollercoaster and not really knowing what to think. Anthony knew he couldn’t let Ian have too much time to analyze this if anything was going to happen.
So, Anthony leaned in again and pressed his lips to Ian’s once more. This time the kiss was a little firmer, asking for just a little bit more. Anthony gave Ian a few more pecks, before letting his tongue run across Ian’s bottom lip. His friend was frozen in place, almost as stony as he had been on the bridge earlier. But after a little while, Anthony felt Ian respond a little. Lips slowly parted, and Anthony was allowed to deepen the kiss. Ian really didn’t taste bad at all, he noticed; it was the perfect mix of mint, something sweet and something that was just pure Ian. He kept the kiss slow and almost languid nonetheless, not wanting to rush things and not wanting to scare his friend.
Holy shit.
The feeling was indescribable, Ian thought. It was so weird kissing a guy, and on top of that it was even weirder that it was Anthony. Anthony was the one sliding his tongue into Ian’s mouth, tasting every corner curiously. Ian felt like he had no control whatsoever over the situation, yet Anthony was being so very gentle with him. Ian couldn’t deny it; it felt good. Really good. Someone was kissing him because they wanted to. Ian almost couldn’t get his head around it. He dared not move, afraid of waking up from some sort of messed up dream.
Anthony willingly moved his lips against Ian’s, kissing him as softly and as deeply as he could. He pressed himself to Ian’s body, testing to see if he could get a reaction out of his friend. And sure enough, Ian’s hands finally came to settle on his sides, eventually squeezing softly. The two boys broke apart, and Anthony moved to kiss the side of Ian’s neck, right below his ear. The skin was smooth and warm, and Anthony felt his chest tighten at the sensation. He hummed low in his throat, whispering softly against Ian’s jaw:
“You smell really good,” He nuzzled his nose against Ian’s neck, and pinched the skin lightly between his lips. “And you taste even better.”
Ian felt his breath catch at the words. It wasn’t often that Anthony complimented him, and right now, it made him go weak in the knees. He held on to Anthony’s sides for support, tilting his head to expose more of his neck, closing his eyes and letting his mouth fall slightly open without really thinking. How could he possibly think straight with that hot breath against his skin, and feeling the soft, moist lips caressing him? One of Anthony’s hands was still resting against the other side of his neck, and the other hand lay on the small of his back. And when Ian felt Anthony’s tongue dart out and he started sucking at his pulse point, he let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a low moan. Not even Melanie had ever done anything like this to him. He felt Anthony smile against him.
Anthony was enjoying himself, more than he initially thought he would. He could feel the warmth pooling in his stomach, and knew it wouldn’t be long until he was hard. He wondered if Ian felt the same, and brought his hand around to the front of Ian’s jeans, smoothing his hand over his friend’s crotch. Almost surprisingly, he was slowly starting to get hard too. Ian jumped a little at the touch, hand coming down to grip Anthony’s wrist hard. He still looked like he couldn’t believe what was happening; eyes wide and breath shaky. Anthony drew back from the haven of Ian’s neck to look at him again, and he whispered a silent “It’s okay.”
Ian still felt unsure and questioning, labored breath ghosting across Anthony’s chin and mouth. He could feel the warmth radiating from his friend’s body, and it felt like every one of his senses were heightened, and every nerve stood on end. Every fiber of his being anticipating Anthony’s next move. The hand on his crotch felt alien, and for a brief moment Ian wondered when Anthony was going to burst out laughing when he felt that Ian was starting to get hard. This had to be some kind of sick prank that Anthony was playing on him. But then, he saw those soft lips curl into a beautiful, warm smile, and he heard those comforting words, and Ian knew this was real. Anthony was real. His friend was willing to do this for him, willing to rebuild Ian’s self confidence, and there was suddenly no way Ian could reject him. Even if he was a man, and even if he was his best friend for eleven years. Ian also knew that at some point, as he was lost in his own self-deprecating thoughts, he had gotten so desperate that he’d let almost anyone touch him. Just to have that intimate contact, and to feel like somebody wanted him. And now, with Anthony all hot up against him, there was no way in hell he was able to push him away.
Anthony saw the debate in Ian’s mind, saw how his thoughts was shifting back and forth, and then he saw Ian finally give in. He felt a sense of victory and excitement bubble in his chest, but he quickly calmed himself down. He focused on the task at hand; keeping this whole thing as intimate and - dare he say it - loving as possible. Anthony could hardly believe it, but it was almost like he was discovering new feelings for Ian as he went along. Anthony resumed the pressure of his hand, massaging Ian’s crotch lightly. The other hand ran down Ian’s back, pressing fingertips into his spine and letting his hand stroke the curve of his ass. Anthony looked Ian straight in the eyes and moaned, squeezing both his hands a little, and letting the other boy know that he liked what he was touching. He watched as his friend’s eyes went wide, pupils dilating, shaky breath coming out through his nose. Ian tilted his head a fraction to the side, jutting his chin forward and staring at Anthony’s lips. The dark haired boy willingly obliged, bringing their lips together in a lustful kiss. Hot lips melded, Ian still in disbelief over Anthony’s eagerness. This only motivated Anthony even more to take it one step further.
Anthony broke the kiss, and Ian almost mewled at the loss. The darker brunette stepped backwards, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“C’mere,” he whispered, voice inviting and seductive at the same time. Ian couldn’t help but feel drawn to him.
He slowly moved forwards, eyes locked on his friend, until he was straddling Anthony’s legs. Anthony laid his hands on the back of Ian’s thighs, caressing the firm muscle, feeling the shape. Damn, cross country running really did wonders. He let his hands go higher, cupping Ian’s ass and drawing his friend closer to him until his nose was pressed against Ian’s blue Dennis-shirt. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his best friend, and nuzzling his stomach. Ian just stared, mesmerized, so Anthony figured he’d have to do a lot of the work himself. Letting his hands slide from Ian’s backside and over his hips, Anthony started working at the belt buckle with daft fingers. Soon after, the button and fly were also undone, and Anthony pushed the jeans down Ian’s legs, who stepped out of them and kicked the material aside. It was a little strange to slide his hands over the silky soft hair on his friend’s thighs, but Anthony decided it was nice. He smiled up at Ian, who let his fingers brush lightly against Anthony’s cheek. He leaned into the touch, while running his hands up to Ian’s hips and under his shirt. He felt the sharp hipbones and the defined abs, only just realizing that Ian actually did have the shades of a six pack.
“Take off your shirt?” he suggested, and lifted the edges up a little.
“Ok. You too?” Ian felt a little awkward being the only one half naked. Anthony quickly tossed his shirt aside, as did Ian. The troubled boy suddenly seemed to get very nervous, shyly covering up by crossing his wrists over his stomach. This was the part where Ian was neither confident nor comfortable. Anthony’s chest was almost chiseled, with wide shoulders, sculpted pecs and tanned skin. Ian had a pale, narrow chest with slim shoulders. How could he possibly compare to his best friend? Anthony frowned in disapproval, as if reading his mind, and gently brought Ian’s arms apart to gain access to the skin underneath. The dark haired boy let his hands roam over his friend’s abdomen, stroking over his sides, hips, ribs, bellybutton; anything within reach. He again took a hold of the hips, caressing the thin skin with his thumbs, and pressed a lingering kiss right above Ian’s bellybutton. He felt Ian’s heavy breathing, and heard him groan.
Suddenly, a series of high-pitched squeaks filled the room. Both boys were startled a little, until Anthony grinned wide. “Charlie totally approves!”
His eyes glinted. And for the first time that night, Ian smiled too. Anthony sighed contently, and resumed nuzzling Ian’s stomach. He then gave Ian a more serious look, and leaned back until he was lying on the bed. Scooting back, he reached out a hand, inviting Ian to join him. His friend did, straddling his legs again and sitting back on his heels. Anthony closed his eyes, just laying there, and waiting for the other boy to make the next move. Ian realized that Anthony was giving him a last chance to back out, in case he suddenly came to the conclusion that he didn’t really want this after all. But Ian had bravely made up his mind. He wanted to accept this generous offer. He placed both hands on Anthony’s chest, only hesitating slightly, and spread out his fingers to stroke his hands down his friend’s body. Anthony arched his back a little, appreciating the touch, glad that Ian wasn’t going anywhere.
Ian’s hands got a little bolder; stroking over Anthony’s stomach much like his friend had done to him just moments ago. Ian had never thought about a man’s body being attractive before; it just never appeared to him to think like that. But right now, as he stared at Anthony’s lean form, he figured this one right here couldn’t be too bad. He found himself comparing this body to a woman’s. Well, not that he had that much experience, as he obviously hadn’t had too many previous bed partners, but still. Technically it was a lot like being with a woman up until now, yet it was so very different. Anthony’s thin, lithe frame arched beautifully under his hands, and the smooth, caramel colored skin glowed in the shimmering moonlight. Much like a woman. Ian lifted his eyes higher, as well as his hands. Here was the real difference, he thought as he felt the flat, hard chest and the perky nipples against his palms. Still, Ian couldn’t deny that his erection was growing as he smoothed his thumbs over Anthony’s nipples and earned a soft moan from his friend. Anthony opened his eyes, and pulled Ian down for another kiss. Soon Ian was lying flat on top of his friend, bare skin meeting bare skin, and he was lost in the sensations. Just the feeling of someone under him, pressing up into him and kissing him with so much lust yet tenderness, was mindblowing. It made butterflies bounce around in his stomach, as blood rushed around in his body, most of it heading south. He could feel the beating of Anthony’s heart, pounding away just like his own.
I can’t believe I’m letting this happen. I can’t believe you’ll do this for me.
Anthony suspected the whole thing had something to do with Melanie breaking up with Ian around the same time his friend had started to act like a shadow of his former self. To everyone else, they had seemed fine, so the break-up had come as a big shock. But Ian seemed to not be able to talk about it or get over it on his own. Anthony understood full well that Ian would be down because his girlfriend left him, but he thought Ian had been depressed for a little too long now. Tonight, he decided, he was going to confront Ian about it.
Finally reaching his destination, Anthony found his best friend standing on the bridge he so often went to, looking down into the river water underneath. He let out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding, relieved that Ian was OK. Anthony stood for a second, watching his friend. Ian was leaning on the railing, shoulders hung and arms crossed over his chest. He stared intently down into the water, as if wishing he was down there and floating along with it. There was something in Ian’s posture that told Anthony his friend was fragile at that moment. But maybe it could have been just the scenery around them; cars passing by in a rush, stars in the sky, the neon lights of the city and Ian standing there alone in the middle of it, or it could have been the way Ian was practically hugging himself, as if he was cold and lonely. Anthony decided on a careful approach, even though he wanted to run over to his friend and shake him -hard- until he understood that he couldn’t just leave and be gone for hours without letting Anthony know where he was.
“Hey,” Anthony said quietly, as he came to stand by Ian’s side. “You’ve been here for quite some time now.” He looked at Ian sideways, but his friend’s expression didn’t change one bit. Ian had probably expected to be found soon.
“Yeah. Sorry about that, I guess.”
Stone. That was the best way to describe Ian right now.
“What are you doing out here, then?” Anthony kept his voice calm and low, wanting Ian to know that he wasn’t angry with him, knowing that his friend could get defensive.
“Just thinking, I guess.”
“About what?”
“You know, just .. stuff,” Ian’s gaze moved up towards the sky. His eyes were somehow watery, as if he’d been staring at the river for too long, and now his eyes started to flood as well.
“Look, I don’t know what’s been bothering you lately, but you’re not yourself. Wanna tell me what’s going on? I’ll help you with whatever,” Anthony turned his body fully, facing Ian, and speaking with concern and kindness.
“I .. I don’t know, Anthony. It’s stupid, and you’ll think I’m a total pussy,” Ian drew his jacket a little tighter around himself, as if contracting into a shell. Anthony frowned. Whatever it was that was bothering Ian, it must have been eating away at his friend’s mind for a very long time.
“Come on man, I’ve known you since I was, like, eleven. I don’t think there’s anything you can tell me that’s gonna make me think you’re a pussy. Besides, you know way too much crap about me, so I can’t really make fun of you, can I.” Anthony put on a slightly cheeky grin, and the corners of Ian’s mouth twitched upwards. “But seriously dude, you know you can tell me anything. So spit it out.”
Ian looked up at Anthony for the first time that night, contemplating if he really should spill his guts and tell the dark haired boy everything. He knew it was a stupid thing to be so upset about, and he was probably just bitching, but the voice in his head just would not shut up. It had been gnawing away at his mind for years now, and more intensely so over the last few months. But Ian figured that the worst thing that could happen if he told the truth was probably just Anthony telling him to quit the bitching and proceed to take him home. So Ian went for it. Sighing, he looked down at his hands.
“Well, I guess it’s Melanie. I never expected her to just .. leave me like that. But the thing is, she told me that she’d found someone better. You know, better looking, lives closer and all that. So I started wondering why I always struggle to get a girlfriend, and if I do, it never lasts very long. And I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all because I’m just plain ugly. I look worse than firetrucking Lindsey Lohan before rehab. Girls are just simply repulsed by me. I guess that's why Melanie never really wanted to touch me anyways. And I know what you’re gonna say; that people shouldn’t judge me by the way I look, and true love is all based on personality and all that crap, but the truth is,” Ian took a deep breath, shoulders slightly shuddering. “People do judge you by your looks. They can’t help it, and they shouldn't deny it. Your looks are a huge part of the first impression you make on others, and people are going to judge you by it whether they want to or not. Even if they go around saying that looks don’t matter. So I’ve guess I’m doomed. I’m too damn hideous to ever get any of the girls I want, and to be honest, it’s kinda depressing.” Ian sniffed, almost startled himself by the outpour of emotion that was coming from him. A tinge of desperation had made its way into his voice.
“Wow, I ..” Anthony stood a little wide eyed, utterly surprised by Ian’s words. “I didn’t know you felt this way-”
“I know I sound like a little teenage girl on her period,” Ian said quickly. “I just .. I can’t help that it’s bugging me. I’ve tried to make it go away, and convince myself that I just have to be myself, a.k.a act like a total clown, and then girls will like me for my sense of humor. But I’ve been rejected so many times, and now Melanie left me for some assface guido who won the genetic lottery. It’s really starting to wear down on me, Ant. I just can’t help it.”
Anthony could hear the quiver in Ian’s voice, and knew that his friend was on the verge of breaking. It took him a moment to realize just how serious this was, and then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Some people were their own worst critic and could be incredibly harsh upon themselves. Anthony always knew that Ian constantly strived to do his best, and that he’d for example never give up on shooting a scene until it was perfect, and even then he found small things about his own work to criticize. But Anthony never knew Ian had been judging himself and his appearance so hard and for so long. Anthony understood though, that this went way back before Melanie, if he really thought about it. Ian had often been, well, joked around with in high-school. Not exactly bullied, maybe, at least not when Anthony was watching, but he knew Ian was often referred to “the little ugly, chubby kid” behind his back. And on a few occasions, directly to his face as well. The dark haired boy couldn’t understand why. Because the words used to describe his friend in high-school, was nowhere near what Anthony saw when he looked at his best friend.
“Hey, Ian, look at me ..” Anthony spoke softly. When his friend didn’t move, Anthony reached out to place two fingers on Ian’s jaw, turning his head to him and taking a light hold of his chin. This forced Ian to look into his eyes, and Anthony’s heart broke a little at the defeat and sadness he saw behind those big blues.
“Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?” Anthony took a step closer, willing Ian to focus on him and only him, willing his friend to listen to his words and understand them. Ian swallowed, and blinked the wetness out of his eyes.
“I see someone who’s been here with me for almost as long as I can remember. You’ve stood by me through all sorts of crazy stages of my life, and you’ve never once let me down. You always make me laugh like an idiot every day, and it’s like everyone’s mood brightens up a little as soon as you enter the room. You put up with my grumpy ass every morning, you always know exactly what I’m feeling and I know you’ll always be there for me. You always make others feel good about themselves. You’re hard-working and dedicated, with the most incredible sense of humor ever.” Anthony spoke with conviction, laying as much intensity and meaning behind his words as he possibly could. He felt Ian’s jaw tighten. Anthony gave his friend a small smile, and continued.
“As for your physical appearance, I don’t see what’s wrong with you. Odd hair maybe, yes, buit suits you just right. It wouldn’t really be you without that haircut, you know?. Your eyes are amazing, though, I really think so. When I look at you, I don’t see someone who’s ugly and won’t ever have someone love him. I see my best friend, and I like everything about him. And if all this doesn’t make you a beautiful person, then I don’t know what will.” Anthony stared intently into Ian’s eyes, as one single tear finally rolled down his friend’s cheek. It ran all the way down to Ian’s chin, and Anthony wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.
A huge truck sped by on the bridge, and the two boys standing alone under the glowing street lights were startled by the sudden harsh draft. Anthony let go of Ian’s chin, and looked down at the ground almost coyly.
“I don’t know if this means anything to you coming from me, since I’m a guy and all, but I don’t want you going around thinking no one likes you because you’re unattractive or something. Hell, I’ve stuck with you for all these years, and according to your own theory about people subconsciously judging others by their looks, that wouldn’t have happened if I was repulsed by you. And I’m sure the same thing goes for a lot of your female friends too.”
Ian suppressed the urge to break down and cry like the little teenage girl that apparently lived inside him. Indeed he had been thinking about his high-school years, and for some stupid reason, it was coming back to him a little. Things like that were so incredibly hard to erase from your memory. He was amazed at how Anthony could just stand there, calm and collected, and tell him that he thought Ian was a beautiful person, inside and out. Could it really be true? Was it really possible for someone to think of him as handsome? Ian had a hard time believing it. But still, it was incredibly nice of Anthony to speak to him like that. Ian tried to collect himself, and then did something rather uncharacteristic. He stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around his “bestest friend in the whole world”. He pressed their bodies together, trembling slightly, and wishing for Anthony to feel how much he appreciated the comfort of his friend. Ian pressed is face into Anthony’s neck for a second, whispering a sincere “thank you”. At least for trying, he added in his mind.
Anthony smiled and turned his face into Ian’s hair, giving his friend a little squeeze before letting him go. “Now what do you say I take you home now, huh?” Anthony smiled warmly. Ian sniffed once more, and nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Come on, my car is right over there.” Anthony laid an arm across Ian’s shoulders, and led him back to his black Scion. The ride home was silent, and that was perfectly fine with both of them. Anthony still noticed that Ian was looking out of the window, still appearing defeated and unhappy. The darker brunette furrowed his brows together, and while keeping his eyes on the road he wondered if Ian had really believed him. Could it be that the dark thoughts that haunted his friends went so deep, that simply trying to verbally convince him otherwise was not enough? Was there even anything more that Anthony could do? He still pondered this as he pulled up in their driveway, for once not bothering to go and open the garage door to park his car inside. He and Ian got out, and went inside. Anthony noted that it was going to be a beautiful night, clear skies and fresh air, and an almost full moon that should have created a comforting atmosphere. But something was nagging in Anthony’s stomach, the feeling that Ian still wasn’t okay.
“You want anything to eat?” Anthony asked once they were inside.
“No, I’m good,” was the response. “I think you’ve had enough trouble with me for tonight, so I’ll just go to bed. Thanks for bringing me home, though.”
“No problem ..” A slightly awkward silence arose. Anthony shifted uncomfortably.
“Right. I’ll see you in the morning then.” Ian turned, and went to make his way to the bedroom, but Anthony’s voice reached him before he got very far.
“Hey Ian, I .. you still look troubled. Are you sure you’re ok?” Anthony was genuinely worried.
“Yeah, sure. I just need to sleep and I’ll be all right. Sorry for being such an emotional train wreck tonight, I promise I’ll grow up by tomorrow.” Ian’s shoulders were tense despite the forced smile on his face, and all in all he appeared a little stiff and avoided looking directly at his friend. Anthony sighed inwardly. He could tell Ian was lying, both to himself and to Anthony. He walked over to his friend, not able to let him walk away without clearing this up.
“You didn’t really believe me out there on the bridge, did you.” It wasn’t a question, but an observation. Ian looked down.
“I .. I want to believe you, but there are so many things that tell me I can’t. You don’t know what it feels like Ant, you’ve never had any problems with the way you look. You can have any girl you want, while I’m stuck with being the ugly one who constantly makes an ass out of himself so everyone can laugh, only to feel like he’s worth something. This feeling, it .. doesn’t just go away, even if you are the one telling it to.”
Ian’s voice was hollow, and he wouldn’t stop staring at the ground. For the second time that night, Anthony’s heart broke for his friend. Ian sounded so helpless, so broken and scarred, and all Anthony wanted at that moment was to wipe that frown off his friend’s face. He had to think of something, for the sake of Ian’s sanity. If these thoughts kept eating away at him, it could fully destroy all of Ian’s self confidence. And then Ian wouldn’t be the same ever again. He wouldn’t be the cheerful guy that made everyone laugh, he wouldn’t be genius writer of the Smosh-skits, he wouldn’t be the life in the house and Anthony would lose his best friend. That thought alone was unbearable. Ian Hecox was the bright light in the lives of all of his close friends, and nothing would be the same if Ian’s dark thoughts destroyed him. And Anthony realized something that always should have been obvious; he couldn’t possibly go on with his life without a smiling, happy Ian by his side. He would have to do something. Something drastic.
Anthony tentatively reached out a hand and took hold of his friend’s wrist, tugging at it and taking a few steps backwards towards Ian’s bedroom. A bundle of nerves was tightening in his stomach, wondering if this would really work, but Anthony steeled himself.
“Come” he said simply. Ian followed with a questioning look.
Anthony led them into the room, stopping right beside the bed. His hand went from Ian’s wrist to cup the side of his neck, and he took a shaky breath. This had to work.
“Ian, if you don’t believe me when I say you’re good looking, if it’s so hard for you to think that somebody could want you, you’re wrong. I said it before; I like everything about you. And I’ll prove it to you, if you’ll let me.”
“What do you mean?” Ian asked cautiously, brows furrowed in question.
Anthony didn’t answer. He let his hand go a little higher, fingertips sliding into Ian’s hair as he stepped forward. He looked his friend deeply in the eyes, before leaning in and pressing a small kiss to the corner of Ian’s mouth. The skin was soft, as Ian had shaved that morning, and he felt his friend tense under his touch. When Anthony drew back, Ian had a look of both shock and disbelief on his face.
“I mean that I’ll show you how attractive you are, because I won’t let you walk around thinking you are hideous. And yes, I am willing to go all the way.” Anthony spoke confidently, trying to convince both Ian and himself that he was sure of this. That this was the right thing to do. He saw the confusion on his friends face, and smirked briefly.
“Don’t worry, I’ve .. uhm .. sorta done this before, if you know what I mean. I haven’t really told you, cause I didn’t know how you’d react and I wasn’t completely sure myself,” he said. Anthony had to look down for a second, feeling a little embarrassed by his little confession.
“So, do you mean that you’re .. gay?” Ian asked, dumbfounded. The soft moonlight coming in through the bedroom window fell across his face, making the blue irises glow.
“Not really, I mean, I still prefer girls, but.. with you I don’t think there’s going to be any problem.”
Anthony managed to smile warmly at Ian, something in the back of his mind telling him he wanted this. Honestly, he hadn’t ever really thought of sleeping with his friend before. He assumed that it was just not the right thing to do, as it could possibly ruin their friendship. Ian was kinda just off-limits. But now was different. This time, he’d lose Ian if he didn’t do it. Anthony’s eyes roamed over Ian’s body once, looking at him with different thoughts in mind than usual, and decided. Yes, he could totally do this.
“But Anthony, are you sure you want this? I mean, I don’t even know how .. I don’t even know if I can - ..” Ian was stuttering, the words not wanting to come properly out of his mouth. To be honest, he was feeling a little scared. Anthony grabbed both his shoulders, and looked at him with determination.
“Ian, I won’t let you destroy yourself. If this is what it takes to make you realize that someone could want you, then I’ll do it. And I promise, I’ll make you enjoy it. After that, we’ll go back to normal. You’ll go back to normal. Please Ian, I need my best friend back. Please let me do this for you.” Anthony’s voice turned from determined to begging, and Ian could feel how much concern Anthony held for him. The big brown eyes were pleading, and Ian knew that Anthony only wanted the best for him. Ian found himself wondering if Anthony really could go through with this. He was still quite shocked at the dark haired boy’s confession just moments ago, but even if that was true, could someone like Anthony really want someone like Ian? His head spun, with so many thoughts pressing on at the same time.
Anthony is bi?! And he wants to have sex with me? I am too disgusting! Aren’t I supposed to refuse it, since I’m straight? Will it really feel good? What do I say to this?! Will he really touch me?
All these thoughts were incredibly confused, disgusted and curious at the same time, and they made Ian’s head hurt. And then, before Ian even had time to arrange his thoughts to figure out how to respond, Anthony got tired of waiting. He leaned in, and placed a soft, lingering kiss on Ian’s cheek. Ian’s eyes fell shut at the sensation, and he felt Anthony’s lips slowly work their way down. And then he felt the warm touch on the corner of his mouth again, and his core trembled. He heard himself take a deep breath through his nose as Anthony finally kissed him fully on the mouth. The tendons in his neck tensed, and Ian’s whole world spun around for a few moments. The kiss was gentle, soft, and a little unsure, but it held a promise. Anthony pulled back to look into Ian’s eyes, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb. Ian hadn’t even noticed Anthony’s hand coming up to cup his cheek. Ian made a small noise in the back of his throat, riding an emotional rollercoaster and not really knowing what to think. Anthony knew he couldn’t let Ian have too much time to analyze this if anything was going to happen.
So, Anthony leaned in again and pressed his lips to Ian’s once more. This time the kiss was a little firmer, asking for just a little bit more. Anthony gave Ian a few more pecks, before letting his tongue run across Ian’s bottom lip. His friend was frozen in place, almost as stony as he had been on the bridge earlier. But after a little while, Anthony felt Ian respond a little. Lips slowly parted, and Anthony was allowed to deepen the kiss. Ian really didn’t taste bad at all, he noticed; it was the perfect mix of mint, something sweet and something that was just pure Ian. He kept the kiss slow and almost languid nonetheless, not wanting to rush things and not wanting to scare his friend.
Holy shit.
The feeling was indescribable, Ian thought. It was so weird kissing a guy, and on top of that it was even weirder that it was Anthony. Anthony was the one sliding his tongue into Ian’s mouth, tasting every corner curiously. Ian felt like he had no control whatsoever over the situation, yet Anthony was being so very gentle with him. Ian couldn’t deny it; it felt good. Really good. Someone was kissing him because they wanted to. Ian almost couldn’t get his head around it. He dared not move, afraid of waking up from some sort of messed up dream.
Anthony willingly moved his lips against Ian’s, kissing him as softly and as deeply as he could. He pressed himself to Ian’s body, testing to see if he could get a reaction out of his friend. And sure enough, Ian’s hands finally came to settle on his sides, eventually squeezing softly. The two boys broke apart, and Anthony moved to kiss the side of Ian’s neck, right below his ear. The skin was smooth and warm, and Anthony felt his chest tighten at the sensation. He hummed low in his throat, whispering softly against Ian’s jaw:
“You smell really good,” He nuzzled his nose against Ian’s neck, and pinched the skin lightly between his lips. “And you taste even better.”
Ian felt his breath catch at the words. It wasn’t often that Anthony complimented him, and right now, it made him go weak in the knees. He held on to Anthony’s sides for support, tilting his head to expose more of his neck, closing his eyes and letting his mouth fall slightly open without really thinking. How could he possibly think straight with that hot breath against his skin, and feeling the soft, moist lips caressing him? One of Anthony’s hands was still resting against the other side of his neck, and the other hand lay on the small of his back. And when Ian felt Anthony’s tongue dart out and he started sucking at his pulse point, he let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a low moan. Not even Melanie had ever done anything like this to him. He felt Anthony smile against him.
Anthony was enjoying himself, more than he initially thought he would. He could feel the warmth pooling in his stomach, and knew it wouldn’t be long until he was hard. He wondered if Ian felt the same, and brought his hand around to the front of Ian’s jeans, smoothing his hand over his friend’s crotch. Almost surprisingly, he was slowly starting to get hard too. Ian jumped a little at the touch, hand coming down to grip Anthony’s wrist hard. He still looked like he couldn’t believe what was happening; eyes wide and breath shaky. Anthony drew back from the haven of Ian’s neck to look at him again, and he whispered a silent “It’s okay.”
Ian still felt unsure and questioning, labored breath ghosting across Anthony’s chin and mouth. He could feel the warmth radiating from his friend’s body, and it felt like every one of his senses were heightened, and every nerve stood on end. Every fiber of his being anticipating Anthony’s next move. The hand on his crotch felt alien, and for a brief moment Ian wondered when Anthony was going to burst out laughing when he felt that Ian was starting to get hard. This had to be some kind of sick prank that Anthony was playing on him. But then, he saw those soft lips curl into a beautiful, warm smile, and he heard those comforting words, and Ian knew this was real. Anthony was real. His friend was willing to do this for him, willing to rebuild Ian’s self confidence, and there was suddenly no way Ian could reject him. Even if he was a man, and even if he was his best friend for eleven years. Ian also knew that at some point, as he was lost in his own self-deprecating thoughts, he had gotten so desperate that he’d let almost anyone touch him. Just to have that intimate contact, and to feel like somebody wanted him. And now, with Anthony all hot up against him, there was no way in hell he was able to push him away.
Anthony saw the debate in Ian’s mind, saw how his thoughts was shifting back and forth, and then he saw Ian finally give in. He felt a sense of victory and excitement bubble in his chest, but he quickly calmed himself down. He focused on the task at hand; keeping this whole thing as intimate and - dare he say it - loving as possible. Anthony could hardly believe it, but it was almost like he was discovering new feelings for Ian as he went along. Anthony resumed the pressure of his hand, massaging Ian’s crotch lightly. The other hand ran down Ian’s back, pressing fingertips into his spine and letting his hand stroke the curve of his ass. Anthony looked Ian straight in the eyes and moaned, squeezing both his hands a little, and letting the other boy know that he liked what he was touching. He watched as his friend’s eyes went wide, pupils dilating, shaky breath coming out through his nose. Ian tilted his head a fraction to the side, jutting his chin forward and staring at Anthony’s lips. The dark haired boy willingly obliged, bringing their lips together in a lustful kiss. Hot lips melded, Ian still in disbelief over Anthony’s eagerness. This only motivated Anthony even more to take it one step further.
Anthony broke the kiss, and Ian almost mewled at the loss. The darker brunette stepped backwards, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“C’mere,” he whispered, voice inviting and seductive at the same time. Ian couldn’t help but feel drawn to him.
He slowly moved forwards, eyes locked on his friend, until he was straddling Anthony’s legs. Anthony laid his hands on the back of Ian’s thighs, caressing the firm muscle, feeling the shape. Damn, cross country running really did wonders. He let his hands go higher, cupping Ian’s ass and drawing his friend closer to him until his nose was pressed against Ian’s blue Dennis-shirt. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his best friend, and nuzzling his stomach. Ian just stared, mesmerized, so Anthony figured he’d have to do a lot of the work himself. Letting his hands slide from Ian’s backside and over his hips, Anthony started working at the belt buckle with daft fingers. Soon after, the button and fly were also undone, and Anthony pushed the jeans down Ian’s legs, who stepped out of them and kicked the material aside. It was a little strange to slide his hands over the silky soft hair on his friend’s thighs, but Anthony decided it was nice. He smiled up at Ian, who let his fingers brush lightly against Anthony’s cheek. He leaned into the touch, while running his hands up to Ian’s hips and under his shirt. He felt the sharp hipbones and the defined abs, only just realizing that Ian actually did have the shades of a six pack.
“Take off your shirt?” he suggested, and lifted the edges up a little.
“Ok. You too?” Ian felt a little awkward being the only one half naked. Anthony quickly tossed his shirt aside, as did Ian. The troubled boy suddenly seemed to get very nervous, shyly covering up by crossing his wrists over his stomach. This was the part where Ian was neither confident nor comfortable. Anthony’s chest was almost chiseled, with wide shoulders, sculpted pecs and tanned skin. Ian had a pale, narrow chest with slim shoulders. How could he possibly compare to his best friend? Anthony frowned in disapproval, as if reading his mind, and gently brought Ian’s arms apart to gain access to the skin underneath. The dark haired boy let his hands roam over his friend’s abdomen, stroking over his sides, hips, ribs, bellybutton; anything within reach. He again took a hold of the hips, caressing the thin skin with his thumbs, and pressed a lingering kiss right above Ian’s bellybutton. He felt Ian’s heavy breathing, and heard him groan.
Suddenly, a series of high-pitched squeaks filled the room. Both boys were startled a little, until Anthony grinned wide. “Charlie totally approves!”
His eyes glinted. And for the first time that night, Ian smiled too. Anthony sighed contently, and resumed nuzzling Ian’s stomach. He then gave Ian a more serious look, and leaned back until he was lying on the bed. Scooting back, he reached out a hand, inviting Ian to join him. His friend did, straddling his legs again and sitting back on his heels. Anthony closed his eyes, just laying there, and waiting for the other boy to make the next move. Ian realized that Anthony was giving him a last chance to back out, in case he suddenly came to the conclusion that he didn’t really want this after all. But Ian had bravely made up his mind. He wanted to accept this generous offer. He placed both hands on Anthony’s chest, only hesitating slightly, and spread out his fingers to stroke his hands down his friend’s body. Anthony arched his back a little, appreciating the touch, glad that Ian wasn’t going anywhere.
Ian’s hands got a little bolder; stroking over Anthony’s stomach much like his friend had done to him just moments ago. Ian had never thought about a man’s body being attractive before; it just never appeared to him to think like that. But right now, as he stared at Anthony’s lean form, he figured this one right here couldn’t be too bad. He found himself comparing this body to a woman’s. Well, not that he had that much experience, as he obviously hadn’t had too many previous bed partners, but still. Technically it was a lot like being with a woman up until now, yet it was so very different. Anthony’s thin, lithe frame arched beautifully under his hands, and the smooth, caramel colored skin glowed in the shimmering moonlight. Much like a woman. Ian lifted his eyes higher, as well as his hands. Here was the real difference, he thought as he felt the flat, hard chest and the perky nipples against his palms. Still, Ian couldn’t deny that his erection was growing as he smoothed his thumbs over Anthony’s nipples and earned a soft moan from his friend. Anthony opened his eyes, and pulled Ian down for another kiss. Soon Ian was lying flat on top of his friend, bare skin meeting bare skin, and he was lost in the sensations. Just the feeling of someone under him, pressing up into him and kissing him with so much lust yet tenderness, was mindblowing. It made butterflies bounce around in his stomach, as blood rushed around in his body, most of it heading south. He could feel the beating of Anthony’s heart, pounding away just like his own.
I can’t believe I’m letting this happen. I can’t believe you’ll do this for me.