summer
I guess I'm due for an update. Does anyone actually read this anymore? So, its summer. Ive been waiting for this. although now im not sure why. i dont do much. i read a lot of books. but mostly, im just lazy. i cant even be bothered to capitlilize the i's in this entry. sorry, too much effort.
i think im getting old. i find myself listening to BOB FM almost all the time. (for you chicagoans, its a radio station that plays everything, but by everything he means awesome songs from the 70's and 80's and early 90's...and kelly clarkson, but hey, we cant all be perfect.) I also think that the driving age should be raised to 18. im much more interested in having a friend over for a glass of wine instead of going to a trendy bar. im pretty much old, and it doesnt scare me. i just want to finish school. I went to the library the other day to renew my card and the woman is like, "Now lets see...you cant still be a student, right?" and i had to look down and say "Yes, im still a student" whateverrrr graduating in 4 years is for wusses. except for kim.
thats another thing. i really miss my friends. kim graduated, and although im happy for her and her super awesome job, i really miss her. brandon and i also had a falling out, (the details arent important) anyways, most of my friends are the people i work with. not that theres a problem with that. theres something very dark about staying in this town forever (which i probably will do) and its that almost every friend i meet in classes and whatnot, will leave. they will leave this town, go up to chicago and ill hardly see them. its a very depressing thought. which is why ashley cant ever leave town.
crap, ive lost my train of thought. im blasting Tears for Fears and drinking a lot of wine.
everybody wants to rule the world.
i kinda want to talk about religion. im becoming more and more agnostic everyday, and no, its not because ive read the DaVinci Code. to me, every religion is a form of mythology. Some men, somewhere embellished true events, and turned men into prophets. now, before you tell me im wrong- hear me out: Every religion has their story of how the world is created and how we are supposed to live. but we all cant be right. in all honesty, i believe that there is a higher power; a God, but i think we are all wrong. if He wanted us to know why we are here and how we were created, he would tell us. but he doesnt. but i think hes there. and by he, i dont mean Jesus, Mohammed, Allah, or anyone else. i just mean He. Or maybe It. who knows. i dont know why my first reaction is to assume God is a He. probably because i was raised catholic. i definitly think theres something; i dont think we just die and then thats it, or at least i hope not. its a rather depressing thought. but there has to be something. my question is, what the hell do i teach my children? especially with billy being catholic. ive talked to him about my beliefs, but he isnt quite on the same page. but at the same time, weve talked about "church-hopping" you know, visiting a bunch of churches, and finding one that clicks with us. crap, i just want my kids to be raised believing that if they live a good life, and dont kill people or listen to kelly clarkson, they will go to heaven. or something. i really dont know. in all honesty, religion fascinates me; which makes sense because i take an interest in mythology. but thats just the thing, i take in interest in religion because i find it interesting how all of these stories came about, but i do not believe in it. I look at Jesus's ressurection the same way i look at The Odyssey. im not saying Jesus wasnt real. i believe he was a good man who was crucified for his beliefs. but i think thats as far as it went. and i dont care what anyone says, Mary was not a virgin. and she did have another son. and she was freakin married to Joseph at the time, so why would she still be a virgin? is this even intersting? are you skimming?
i miss bill. what else is new? it will be a year at the end of the month. im so in love its not even funny. its odd that a year ago, i just thought we would have sex a couple of times. i never knew it would be this... but ive never been happier, and people that have known me before bill can see that, like, everyone in my family. its true, ive never been happier, im prozac-alicious. whatever that means.
im getting kinda fat, and its really pissing me off.
i kinda want to watch donnie darko, but matt left it at home.
did you know my IQ is 120? its pretty good.
whatever, time to watch south park on my computer
i think im getting old. i find myself listening to BOB FM almost all the time. (for you chicagoans, its a radio station that plays everything, but by everything he means awesome songs from the 70's and 80's and early 90's...and kelly clarkson, but hey, we cant all be perfect.) I also think that the driving age should be raised to 18. im much more interested in having a friend over for a glass of wine instead of going to a trendy bar. im pretty much old, and it doesnt scare me. i just want to finish school. I went to the library the other day to renew my card and the woman is like, "Now lets see...you cant still be a student, right?" and i had to look down and say "Yes, im still a student" whateverrrr graduating in 4 years is for wusses. except for kim.
thats another thing. i really miss my friends. kim graduated, and although im happy for her and her super awesome job, i really miss her. brandon and i also had a falling out, (the details arent important) anyways, most of my friends are the people i work with. not that theres a problem with that. theres something very dark about staying in this town forever (which i probably will do) and its that almost every friend i meet in classes and whatnot, will leave. they will leave this town, go up to chicago and ill hardly see them. its a very depressing thought. which is why ashley cant ever leave town.
crap, ive lost my train of thought. im blasting Tears for Fears and drinking a lot of wine.
everybody wants to rule the world.
i kinda want to talk about religion. im becoming more and more agnostic everyday, and no, its not because ive read the DaVinci Code. to me, every religion is a form of mythology. Some men, somewhere embellished true events, and turned men into prophets. now, before you tell me im wrong- hear me out: Every religion has their story of how the world is created and how we are supposed to live. but we all cant be right. in all honesty, i believe that there is a higher power; a God, but i think we are all wrong. if He wanted us to know why we are here and how we were created, he would tell us. but he doesnt. but i think hes there. and by he, i dont mean Jesus, Mohammed, Allah, or anyone else. i just mean He. Or maybe It. who knows. i dont know why my first reaction is to assume God is a He. probably because i was raised catholic. i definitly think theres something; i dont think we just die and then thats it, or at least i hope not. its a rather depressing thought. but there has to be something. my question is, what the hell do i teach my children? especially with billy being catholic. ive talked to him about my beliefs, but he isnt quite on the same page. but at the same time, weve talked about "church-hopping" you know, visiting a bunch of churches, and finding one that clicks with us. crap, i just want my kids to be raised believing that if they live a good life, and dont kill people or listen to kelly clarkson, they will go to heaven. or something. i really dont know. in all honesty, religion fascinates me; which makes sense because i take an interest in mythology. but thats just the thing, i take in interest in religion because i find it interesting how all of these stories came about, but i do not believe in it. I look at Jesus's ressurection the same way i look at The Odyssey. im not saying Jesus wasnt real. i believe he was a good man who was crucified for his beliefs. but i think thats as far as it went. and i dont care what anyone says, Mary was not a virgin. and she did have another son. and she was freakin married to Joseph at the time, so why would she still be a virgin? is this even intersting? are you skimming?
i miss bill. what else is new? it will be a year at the end of the month. im so in love its not even funny. its odd that a year ago, i just thought we would have sex a couple of times. i never knew it would be this... but ive never been happier, and people that have known me before bill can see that, like, everyone in my family. its true, ive never been happier, im prozac-alicious. whatever that means.
im getting kinda fat, and its really pissing me off.
i kinda want to watch donnie darko, but matt left it at home.
did you know my IQ is 120? its pretty good.
whatever, time to watch south park on my computer