chill out
i think things are going to be ok for a while now. i know "happiness is shallow" and that "if you're not fighting you're not trying" but i really just want to relax and not focus of the ills of my existence and trying to fix them. i just want to let everything run its own course right now, let the dust settle. i burned up a lot of metaphysical energy, made a big impact on a lot of facets of my existence, and i just want to loosen the reigns for a bit, deal with things as they come to me instead of seeking them out. i do feel like i've got a lot of explaining to do, but im going to need to spend a while figuring out how to explain things before i try to form sentences to myself. im going to start meditating as much as i can. im not going to smoke as much pot anymore either. i need to be clearheaded for a while, experience as little manipulation of brain as possible, at least until i understand better. i need some down time. to calm down and recooperate. im so depleted of spiritual and physicalmentalemotional energy. i just need to focus on my needs and my interactions and my art. i need to distance myself from the drama. stop making everything an obligation, stop planning so damn much. take one thing in at a time. and give myself time to absorb what comes before jumping into the next experience without any knowledge of the previous one's effect. STop boiling. simmer for a while. breathe. let things effect me instead of trying to effect them and trying to effect their effect on me.
chill out
chill out