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i just remembered that i have a pickle in a pouch in the fridge. i need money. but i dont get paid till wednesday. i miss my buds at unh. i need to visit soon. but first i need a day off when they are all actually there. i need 2 new crash cymbals and a new boom cymbal stand. i need a cd/mp3 discman. i need to pay my cellphone bill. i need to get my credit card payed down. i need someone close to me to be closer to me. i wish i had a cool roomate to share this house with me. its lonely here. sometimes i feel not human. sometimes i feel like i should feel a certain way or should react a certain way to something, but instead act numb. the way i live my life, sometimes makes me feel like a machine. ignorant to everything and everything around me. the only things that i seem to actually take in and appreciate are my friends, the weather and my surroundings outside... sometimes i want to move away and start life again from scratch. but there are certain people, obligations, and familiar places that keep me from doing so. plus i dont have the funds to move away. and i would want at least one close friend to go with me. that way i would always have a piece of home wth me. what is becoming of this life of mine.