(no subject)
armenian cruise with [dad's side]aunt, grandma, and mom n dev
treated like a princess, adventures to distant lands..
so much, too much- to talk about
best- parasailing, yoga .. love love love
it was great..
awhile in a whole nother world..
surrounded by high class bi and trilingal people
the excitement wore off,
sick of dressing to perfection and being a fun little angel to everyone
pushy fucking people
but mostly i felt real alone.
by the end of the longest week ever,
couldnt wait to come home..
missed my friends so much..
and my kitties even more..
but i came back, to the same old life
everyone , just smoking smoking smoking
me, the same .. of course
its such a bore. i shouldnt partake anymore.
i love my friends..
but theres so much more out there
coming back to west bloomfield . not to mention the freezing..
was the most unpleasant slap in the face
i feel so depressed .. and hopeless.
on the cruise i was actually thin and happy
and then i eat and eat ... only to become increasingly discusted with my obesity and lack of self control.. i feel, once i can get myself together, once im perfect, someone will come along.. a reward for all ive strived for. but love doesnt really work that way. im just wasting my time.. just so hopeless.
really all i wanted to say was i hate it here
treated like a princess, adventures to distant lands..
so much, too much- to talk about
best- parasailing, yoga .. love love love
it was great..
awhile in a whole nother world..
surrounded by high class bi and trilingal people
the excitement wore off,
sick of dressing to perfection and being a fun little angel to everyone
pushy fucking people
but mostly i felt real alone.
by the end of the longest week ever,
couldnt wait to come home..
missed my friends so much..
and my kitties even more..
but i came back, to the same old life
everyone , just smoking smoking smoking
me, the same .. of course
its such a bore. i shouldnt partake anymore.
i love my friends..
but theres so much more out there
coming back to west bloomfield . not to mention the freezing..
was the most unpleasant slap in the face
i feel so depressed .. and hopeless.
on the cruise i was actually thin and happy
and then i eat and eat ... only to become increasingly discusted with my obesity and lack of self control.. i feel, once i can get myself together, once im perfect, someone will come along.. a reward for all ive strived for. but love doesnt really work that way. im just wasting my time.. just so hopeless.
really all i wanted to say was i hate it here