I must be this horrible entity
I've sorta decided that my purpose is to judge whether people should live or die. I find myself most content with myself when I am helping other people learn the proper ways to suicide. I was lurking on some old newsgroups dealing with the topic of suicide methods and realized I -enjoyed- talking to them about whats reliable and what's not.
I still plan on killing myself if things don't get better, but is it bad that this is a temporary better for me?
In other news, I bought a rat to have something to that would love me unconditionally. I chose a rat because I'm not allowed to have dogs or cats. And rats are pretty damn intelligent(I've owned one before).
She got sick the day after I got her. It was only sneezing then. And then I noticed she had diarrhea and wasn't eating. And then I saw she had the beginnings of bumblefoot.
I made an appointment to take her to the vet today. But she passed away last night.
So yeah, the one thing that could have actually loved me unconditionally passed away within 3 days of having it.