Stupid children
Running around expecting candy. Fuck that.
They're not getting shit from me.
No one came to my door anyway, actually.
But If I was going to do that, I’d at least want something good. Maybe meat or cheez its.
If we’ll give any brat wearing a sheet a piece of chocolate, they should negotiate. Who knows what other kinds of stupid shit we’d go along with.
Maybe we should make a holiday where no one is mean, or annoying, or stupid for a day. Now we're talkin.
I’m just upset because the kids who came into the office didn’t like me. They wouldn’t even go near me. Must have sensed sour vibrations or smelled toe jam with supersonic, ultra sensitive toddler nostrils. I was nice and everything. Those little shits. I should have put a carrot or mushroom in their bag. Or a penny. That would be insulting even to a 3-year-old.
People should be nicer to the ugly kids, too. Being ugly messes children up HARD. I learned that in criminology class! So be nicer to ugly people, you shallow fucks. All I hear is "aww how cute." Well what about little ugly Bobby Backhair?
Sometimes I just want to stop working, shaving, bathing or behaving and just wander around in my freaky body hairs, all wired together and crusted, living outside bothering people for a living as some sort of kickass toll primate. Who’s going to touch a naked hairy stinky guy? It’s easier to just give me a few dollars or some cheetos. I'd be more of a pest than anything. This would be the most satisfying life.
I think foraging cultures got it right in some ways. They work for a few hours just getting the junk they really need, then they chill the rest of the day. Sure, I like music, books, and being able to drive places. But they definitely had the work thing and chilling parts down pretty well. And the currency part. I’ll settle for a compromise. And we wouldn't even have to worry about getting stomped by elephants. Not yet anyway.
Paid for by friends of Bobo "Flies On My Ass" Bonobo, Lesser Primate Party, for Head Baboon
They're not getting shit from me.
No one came to my door anyway, actually.
But If I was going to do that, I’d at least want something good. Maybe meat or cheez its.
If we’ll give any brat wearing a sheet a piece of chocolate, they should negotiate. Who knows what other kinds of stupid shit we’d go along with.
Maybe we should make a holiday where no one is mean, or annoying, or stupid for a day. Now we're talkin.
I’m just upset because the kids who came into the office didn’t like me. They wouldn’t even go near me. Must have sensed sour vibrations or smelled toe jam with supersonic, ultra sensitive toddler nostrils. I was nice and everything. Those little shits. I should have put a carrot or mushroom in their bag. Or a penny. That would be insulting even to a 3-year-old.
People should be nicer to the ugly kids, too. Being ugly messes children up HARD. I learned that in criminology class! So be nicer to ugly people, you shallow fucks. All I hear is "aww how cute." Well what about little ugly Bobby Backhair?
Sometimes I just want to stop working, shaving, bathing or behaving and just wander around in my freaky body hairs, all wired together and crusted, living outside bothering people for a living as some sort of kickass toll primate. Who’s going to touch a naked hairy stinky guy? It’s easier to just give me a few dollars or some cheetos. I'd be more of a pest than anything. This would be the most satisfying life.
I think foraging cultures got it right in some ways. They work for a few hours just getting the junk they really need, then they chill the rest of the day. Sure, I like music, books, and being able to drive places. But they definitely had the work thing and chilling parts down pretty well. And the currency part. I’ll settle for a compromise. And we wouldn't even have to worry about getting stomped by elephants. Not yet anyway.
Paid for by friends of Bobo "Flies On My Ass" Bonobo, Lesser Primate Party, for Head Baboon