(no subject)
I'm only writing this entry for the sake of memory and just to get it out.
Danny told me last night that he cheated on me with that girl. She started it, and he went along with it, because (as previously discussed) he needed to have sex with her just once to get her out of his system. He cried more than I did, but I did my share. He swears he's over her, and now they're "just friends." All of this promising and swearing after he said he was over her already. It breaks my heart. He didn't want me to leave him, he wanted me to understand that she was miserable. I don't care- it hurts so much.
I suppose its selfish to think that I could have him to myself forever. I was his first and only- and now there's that to taint the record. It burns like a monstrous black ink spill on a clean white page. He says he's thankful/glad that I was his first, but that she was supposed to be his first and he's sorry it had to happen so late.
God, it kills me. I don't want to eat ever again. I don't want her calling him; I don't want them to be just friends goddammit. She knows he has a girlfriend (me) and that didn't stop her. She knew he wanted it just once to get it over with, and she exploited that. Bitch. I think I could/can feel my heart breaking it's that painful.
Time will help, I'm sure. But I feel so betrayed and hurt by the one person I thought I could trust with anything.
Danny told me last night that he cheated on me with that girl. She started it, and he went along with it, because (as previously discussed) he needed to have sex with her just once to get her out of his system. He cried more than I did, but I did my share. He swears he's over her, and now they're "just friends." All of this promising and swearing after he said he was over her already. It breaks my heart. He didn't want me to leave him, he wanted me to understand that she was miserable. I don't care- it hurts so much.
I suppose its selfish to think that I could have him to myself forever. I was his first and only- and now there's that to taint the record. It burns like a monstrous black ink spill on a clean white page. He says he's thankful/glad that I was his first, but that she was supposed to be his first and he's sorry it had to happen so late.
God, it kills me. I don't want to eat ever again. I don't want her calling him; I don't want them to be just friends goddammit. She knows he has a girlfriend (me) and that didn't stop her. She knew he wanted it just once to get it over with, and she exploited that. Bitch. I think I could/can feel my heart breaking it's that painful.
Time will help, I'm sure. But I feel so betrayed and hurt by the one person I thought I could trust with anything.