here we go again
Love Rollercoaster: Round 2.
The bus leaves Rochester at 1:30am, monday morning. It arrives in Boston at 9:30am. At noon, in boston, i will catch a transfer bus to Portland, Maine...which will arrive at the Portland bus terminal at 2pm. That's where Lena will be waiting for me.
I have been looking foreward to this trip for a long time now, and its finally come...
I have a bunch of mixed feelings about this. Dont get me wrong...im going to have a great time with her...and im sure that everything will be great. Still though, im instersted, and somewhat weary to see--if and how time has changed us and our relationship. We have communicated on the phone alot. Were always happy to hear each others voices. It might just be me thats weary. Im not sure. Im always nervous when im calling her, for some reason...sometimes scrambling for things to talk about...and possibly coming off "boring" or feeling "uneasy"......and possibly making her feel a bit more "uninterested" in the conversation. I dont know.
I think that being able to spend time with her...face to face..will give me a good oppertunity to relax and just enjoy my time with her. I think it will relieve alot of anxiety about all this.
Still though, good things sometimes end. I have no idea what is going to happen after she returns home to Belarus again. I really cant do another year without her. She still refers to me as her boyfriend. She still tells me that she loves me. From time to time, i also find myself refering to her as my girlfriend. We do have a relationship....but i need to be honest--its been a year now---and i can feel the time between us. Yea, shes still my girl right now.....and i guess im just hoping for the best. When this trip ends though, i may have to face the dreaded reality that theres a good chance that i'll never see her again. This could be really really difficult. We wil see how it goes.
Last year, before she left...we were so deeply in love. It was pretty intense. We both made the commitment to each other, that this relationship would continue...because... somehow...we are going to se each other again. We couldnt live with the thought that we would be torn apart, and never be together again, and we refused the idea.
I dont think i could go another year without her, but yet, i have no regrets at all about it. Im really proud of this relationship. I really do love this girl. Time can wound a relationship...but love is love. I cant wait to embrace her again..and just gaze into those eyes. I have a feeling that after a day or two with her...everything is going to set in again. Shes thrilled about my arrival, and im so excited. These 12 days are going to be awesome.....i know it!
OK everyone. This will prolly be my last entry for the next few weeks. I'll be taking alot of pictures. See you all soon.
The bus leaves Rochester at 1:30am, monday morning. It arrives in Boston at 9:30am. At noon, in boston, i will catch a transfer bus to Portland, Maine...which will arrive at the Portland bus terminal at 2pm. That's where Lena will be waiting for me.
I have been looking foreward to this trip for a long time now, and its finally come...
I have a bunch of mixed feelings about this. Dont get me wrong...im going to have a great time with her...and im sure that everything will be great. Still though, im instersted, and somewhat weary to see--if and how time has changed us and our relationship. We have communicated on the phone alot. Were always happy to hear each others voices. It might just be me thats weary. Im not sure. Im always nervous when im calling her, for some reason...sometimes scrambling for things to talk about...and possibly coming off "boring" or feeling "uneasy"......and possibly making her feel a bit more "uninterested" in the conversation. I dont know.
I think that being able to spend time with her...face to face..will give me a good oppertunity to relax and just enjoy my time with her. I think it will relieve alot of anxiety about all this.
Still though, good things sometimes end. I have no idea what is going to happen after she returns home to Belarus again. I really cant do another year without her. She still refers to me as her boyfriend. She still tells me that she loves me. From time to time, i also find myself refering to her as my girlfriend. We do have a relationship....but i need to be honest--its been a year now---and i can feel the time between us. Yea, shes still my girl right now.....and i guess im just hoping for the best. When this trip ends though, i may have to face the dreaded reality that theres a good chance that i'll never see her again. This could be really really difficult. We wil see how it goes.
Last year, before she left...we were so deeply in love. It was pretty intense. We both made the commitment to each other, that this relationship would continue...because... somehow...we are going to se each other again. We couldnt live with the thought that we would be torn apart, and never be together again, and we refused the idea.
I dont think i could go another year without her, but yet, i have no regrets at all about it. Im really proud of this relationship. I really do love this girl. Time can wound a relationship...but love is love. I cant wait to embrace her again..and just gaze into those eyes. I have a feeling that after a day or two with her...everything is going to set in again. Shes thrilled about my arrival, and im so excited. These 12 days are going to be awesome.....i know it!
OK everyone. This will prolly be my last entry for the next few weeks. I'll be taking alot of pictures. See you all soon.