Alot going on lately...
So here I am... sitting at my new computer desk, in my new room, in my new apartment. Alot has changed for me since I posted in this friggin thing with any sort of substance. It's been really weird for me in ways. In the past year I've managed to get myself a career, and now, moved out of my house. So much has been on my mind. Stuff that has kinda been lingering. Thoughts and feelings that have been just sitting there waiting to be released. Then there is the laziness that sets in. My inability to sit down for a couple of mins and post something. I know... I'm a jerk.
Speaking of jerk, lately I've been thinking about myself in terms of the kind of person I am. I've been known to be an asshole at times... but I think it's a defense mechanism for me. A way of shielding myself from everyone and everything. Fucked up thing though is that I'm really good at it. I don't know. It's not something I intended on becoming but its something I seem to do all the time. Which is weird considering the following...
I feel like an old soul. As if I am from another time. I often think of chivalrism and altruism as an idealic goal. Something I strive for on some sort of level. I mean look at the profession I chose. Granted it provides me great benefits and the ability to retire ridiculously early, but more than that I think I chose it more for its noble purpose to "serve and protect". Isn't that what knights used to do back in the day?
I guess everyone asks themselves at some point 'what the hell am I doing?' It just seems like I do it all the time. To be honest though, I never come up with an answer. Hell... I never even come close.
I miss alot of things about the way things were as opposed to the way things are. I miss when there wasn't a care in the world. I miss baseball, I miss paintball, I miss summers off from school, I mis the days of not worrying about bills and having to go to work.
I don't know, I guess I miss being a kid.
Later all...
-Bo
Speaking of jerk, lately I've been thinking about myself in terms of the kind of person I am. I've been known to be an asshole at times... but I think it's a defense mechanism for me. A way of shielding myself from everyone and everything. Fucked up thing though is that I'm really good at it. I don't know. It's not something I intended on becoming but its something I seem to do all the time. Which is weird considering the following...
I feel like an old soul. As if I am from another time. I often think of chivalrism and altruism as an idealic goal. Something I strive for on some sort of level. I mean look at the profession I chose. Granted it provides me great benefits and the ability to retire ridiculously early, but more than that I think I chose it more for its noble purpose to "serve and protect". Isn't that what knights used to do back in the day?
I guess everyone asks themselves at some point 'what the hell am I doing?' It just seems like I do it all the time. To be honest though, I never come up with an answer. Hell... I never even come close.
I miss alot of things about the way things were as opposed to the way things are. I miss when there wasn't a care in the world. I miss baseball, I miss paintball, I miss summers off from school, I mis the days of not worrying about bills and having to go to work.
I don't know, I guess I miss being a kid.
Later all...
-Bo