The near-death experience has prompted a tailspin for Lee and it's revived his emotional experience of failure with unknown-blonde-woman. His final words before losing consciousness were an apology to Kara, the one person who he would never have expected to let down.
I hadn't thought about this connection before. After seeing 'Black Market' I didn't feel that the girlfriends death on Caprica had anything to do with his letting go and wanting to die in RS Pt2. I tied it to his discovery that Adama and Laura, two people he trusted, respected, and he thought he knew, had plotted to do something that was unconscionable to him. And if these people could be turned into, essentially, murderers, what was there to live for? But now you make an interesting point about letting people down. He's been carrying this burden of running away from his responsibilities before the attack (though, as shown, technically the girl did the running) and then he's confronted with failing to be there for another person he loves (Kara) when she needed him the most.
I also agree that while Lee developed genuine feelings for Shevon (though I wouldn't call it love), his motives for being with her and Paya were initially self-serving. However, I felt his rejection of Dee was selfless. Putting aside she's involved with someone else, Lee knows how messed up he is emotionally right now and I don't think he wants to burden those close to him, or that could potentially close to him, with his baggage.
Ha! You have enlightened me as to the spelling of their names. *g* I totally should have checked that out before posting, huh?! I was so sure that Shevon had Celtic spelling (having nearly been burdened with that name myself). And Paya. Who knew! Apparently not me...
Anyway, thank you for your comment. I definitely think there are mutliple threads in why Lee wanted to let go in RSII, and Black Market helped flesh out part of it. In RSII, while I understood how confronting 'Adama and Roslin as murderers' would be to Lee, it felt to me like that wasn't *quite* enough to tip him suicidal. I think it's pretty rare for one situation to tip someone over the edge unless there is an underlying discomfort/anxiety/depression/disappointmentwith life, or whatever you want to call it. And some form of devaluing the self. While the events of RSI-II would lead Lee to question himself and his purpose, it's still a bit of a jump from that to certainty of worthlessness. But Black Market helped me see that the sense of failure and worthlessness was there before and so without internal OR external validation of himself/his ideals, it makes more sense that Lee faltered in this way.
You're right that there was a selflessness at play in rejecting Dee. I guess it's in both of their best interests to avoid entanglement, though it's saddest for Lee, who would really benefit from a loving partner. But you're right--he knows his emotional burdens are too much to share with someone right now.
technically the girl did the running That's an interesting point. Even if it was just badly staged, it is a reminder that Lee's self-involved anxiety about letting people down ignores the person's (woman's) own agency. For example, Kara really was ok. Sure, she'd have liked Lee there, but she coped. That was of absolutely no comfort to Lee, though, when they talked about it. Presumably because he's so used to carrying the blame from the past tragedy, which he has emotionally processed as being *entirely* his own doing, when in fact the woman's own emotional responses and actions played some part too. (I don't mean to sound like I'm letting Lee off the hook because we don't really know much of what happened--but I do think he's expecting too much of himself and holds himself responsible for things beyond his control--typical distortions of the depressed mind.)
I really appreciate you commenting even though it's been ages since the ep aired. It's interesting to think it through...
it is a reminder that Lee's self-involved anxiety about letting people down ignores the person's (woman's) own agency. For example, Kara really was ok. Sure, she'd have liked Lee there, but she coped. That was of absolutely no comfort to Lee, though, when they talked about it. Presumably because he's so used to carrying the blame from the past tragedy, which he has emotionally processed as being *entirely* his own doing, when in fact the woman's own emotional responses and actions played some part too.
Lee, for some reason I don't think we are yet clear on, shoulders a lot of responsibility even when it's not entirely his responsibility to bare. He's been carrying a lot of guilt for abandoning his girlfriend. However, from the little we were privy to, it seems that while he may have reacted badly at that moment, she ran off before he could finish what he had to say. And then the world ended before he could try and make things right.
*nods* I agree on all of that. It's very Lee-like to obsess over a momentary slip. And the fact that it became so tragically momentous due to the timing (world ending) is really bad for him psychologically, because he *is* prone to 'over'-shouldering responsibility.
I hadn't thought about this connection before. After seeing 'Black Market' I didn't feel that the girlfriends death on Caprica had anything to do with his letting go and wanting to die in RS Pt2. I tied it to his discovery that Adama and Laura, two people he trusted, respected, and he thought he knew, had plotted to do something that was unconscionable to him. And if these people could be turned into, essentially, murderers, what was there to live for? But now you make an interesting point about letting people down. He's been carrying this burden of running away from his responsibilities before the attack (though, as shown, technically the girl did the running) and then he's confronted with failing to be there for another person he loves (Kara) when she needed him the most.
I also agree that while Lee developed genuine feelings for Shevon (though I wouldn't call it love), his motives for being with her and Paya were initially self-serving. However, I felt his rejection of Dee was selfless. Putting aside she's involved with someone else, Lee knows how messed up he is emotionally right now and I don't think he wants to burden those close to him, or that could potentially close to him, with his baggage.
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Anyway, thank you for your comment. I definitely think there are mutliple threads in why Lee wanted to let go in RSII, and Black Market helped flesh out part of it. In RSII, while I understood how confronting 'Adama and Roslin as murderers' would be to Lee, it felt to me like that wasn't *quite* enough to tip him suicidal. I think it's pretty rare for one situation to tip someone over the edge unless there is an underlying discomfort/anxiety/depression/disappointmentwith life, or whatever you want to call it. And some form of devaluing the self. While the events of RSI-II would lead Lee to question himself and his purpose, it's still a bit of a jump from that to certainty of worthlessness. But Black Market helped me see that the sense of failure and worthlessness was there before and so without internal OR external validation of himself/his ideals, it makes more sense that Lee faltered in this way.
You're right that there was a selflessness at play in rejecting Dee. I guess it's in both of their best interests to avoid entanglement, though it's saddest for Lee, who would really benefit from a loving partner. But you're right--he knows his emotional burdens are too much to share with someone right now.
technically the girl did the running
That's an interesting point. Even if it was just badly staged, it is a reminder that Lee's self-involved anxiety about letting people down ignores the person's (woman's) own agency. For example, Kara really was ok. Sure, she'd have liked Lee there, but she coped. That was of absolutely no comfort to Lee, though, when they talked about it. Presumably because he's so used to carrying the blame from the past tragedy, which he has emotionally processed as being *entirely* his own doing, when in fact the woman's own emotional responses and actions played some part too. (I don't mean to sound like I'm letting Lee off the hook because we don't really know much of what happened--but I do think he's expecting too much of himself and holds himself responsible for things beyond his control--typical distortions of the depressed mind.)
I really appreciate you commenting even though it's been ages since the ep aired. It's interesting to think it through...
Reply
Lee, for some reason I don't think we are yet clear on, shoulders a lot of responsibility even when it's not entirely his responsibility to bare. He's been carrying a lot of guilt for abandoning his girlfriend. However, from the little we were privy to, it seems that while he may have reacted badly at that moment, she ran off before he could finish what he had to say. And then the world ended before he could try and make things right.
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