(no subject)
so i said fuck the sobriety thing right after i wrote that last post. i got buzzed that nite. it didn't take much either surprisingly. this sorry state of living is getting to me. i hate working two jobs. they both really suck and i want one fulltime job.one that pays millions and i don't have to do shit. i decided to think long and hard about becoming a pilot. just to get a private pilots license its about 4500. thats alot. and then another 10-15000 for a commercial pilots license. damn. i think its off to the 13th grade. (tstc) i feel like moving out of this stupid valley again. anyways i practiced with manuel's and victor's band yesterday. it turned out pretty good. we were supposed to practice today but manuel can't find anyone. fucktards. i really wanted to get down and funky today. i don't know why i'm doing the band thing again. its just going to distract me from moving on in life. like going to school and whatnot. but its so much fun. i wish skating and playing punk rock would pay off. not millions but just enough to get by. i could die happy that way. not looking forward to sleeping tonite. had a terrible dream last nite. i cried tears of blood. it felt really real and terrifying. i woke up and i felt bad all over. strangeness.