Ahem
Did you know that during colonial times, firing a cannon ball into a tornado was considered a legitimate and reputable line of defense against the SWIRLING WHIRLWIND OF DOOM!
Retards.
Anywho, Ernesto has arrived, and he's made me wet...in that special way.
I like sitting in my little window, watching all the determined hob nobs trek into Short Pump Town Centre as their umbrellas crumble under the awesomeness of 35mph winds.
What's funnier is watching the Budweiser guy trudge through the rain, having an imaginary conversation with me after I gave him a blank stare through the window as he tried to explain how much I should write the check for...all the while getting wetter and wetter.
I'm inside, and dry. You're outside, and wet. I win.
This Saturday I'm going to a bachelor party. Apparently the girls Phillips hired are good...really good.
Twenty bucks ahead gets me drunk, high, and a show involving nudity and sexual apparati that I will surely not soon forget.
Next Saturday I'm going to the NASCAR race here in Richmond because apparently Scott (Stepdad) is buddy buddy with some of the TNT commentators. Kick ass.
Then that Monday, if Dave Attell decides not to come to Richmond, I'm headed down to the Virginia Beach Funny Bone with my fellows co-workers for Staff Appreciation Night.
Open Bar, Redskins season opener on the tube, and a poker tournament with prizes ranging from an Ipod nano, to a 50 inch big screen TV.
Did I mention I fucking love my job?
Now if they'll just start training me as a server I'll be happy.
No one is here. No one is calling. Yet I'm still here...for another six hours.
Time for a sexy party.
Retards.
Anywho, Ernesto has arrived, and he's made me wet...in that special way.
I like sitting in my little window, watching all the determined hob nobs trek into Short Pump Town Centre as their umbrellas crumble under the awesomeness of 35mph winds.
What's funnier is watching the Budweiser guy trudge through the rain, having an imaginary conversation with me after I gave him a blank stare through the window as he tried to explain how much I should write the check for...all the while getting wetter and wetter.
I'm inside, and dry. You're outside, and wet. I win.
This Saturday I'm going to a bachelor party. Apparently the girls Phillips hired are good...really good.
Twenty bucks ahead gets me drunk, high, and a show involving nudity and sexual apparati that I will surely not soon forget.
Next Saturday I'm going to the NASCAR race here in Richmond because apparently Scott (Stepdad) is buddy buddy with some of the TNT commentators. Kick ass.
Then that Monday, if Dave Attell decides not to come to Richmond, I'm headed down to the Virginia Beach Funny Bone with my fellows co-workers for Staff Appreciation Night.
Open Bar, Redskins season opener on the tube, and a poker tournament with prizes ranging from an Ipod nano, to a 50 inch big screen TV.
Did I mention I fucking love my job?
Now if they'll just start training me as a server I'll be happy.
No one is here. No one is calling. Yet I'm still here...for another six hours.
Time for a sexy party.