Tornado Harvey
There is so much that I could write about this weekend. Blake came back from Iraq Thursday night and we all hung out. Saturday was the big hang out and hotel party. Rather then take you through a timeline of my events, I want to look at Saturday threw the eyes of another. This is the story, of Tornado Harvey.
“DON’T CALL ME HARVEY! MY NAME IS FUCKING HARLEY!” That seemed to be the battle cry for Harley this weekend. Wrist could not remember his name for the life of her and kept calling him Harvey. Once we all realized that this bother him [like good friends] we decided to keep calling him Harvey.
Harvey had purchased a handle of the cheapest shittiest Vodka he could, Burnett. He was drinking Burnett straight for the longest time which Justin thought was just disgusting. As I had said he was drinking it straight and ended up killing about half the bottle that night. So as you can probably guess Harvey was loaded.
After getting out of his chair, which he rarely did that night, he decided he needed to go to the bathroom. What was a routine chore turned into a catastrophe. As he got up he took 3 really large steps. Harvey is kind of a big dude, and by kind of, I mean extremely.
What you have to realize is Harvey went through a wide range of emotions in about 10 seconds. When he took that first step the look of glee in his eyes was breath taking. That second step was another joyess one in his journey to the pooper. That third step though…that third step was where it all went wrong. When his leg extended his knee caught the end of the bed. That threw his already impaired balance off. Once his knee clipped the bed he did his best spin move and tumbled to the ground. When he was going down though, his head smashed into the wall. He went from happy, to really angry, to the saddest sounding whimper I have ever heard.
That whimper was the last thing we heard from Harley for the next few hours because he KO’ed himself on the wall. The weirdest part about this whole thing is that it didn’t seem like he knocked himself out as much as it seemed like he just went into hibernation for a few hours, because once he woke up he got back to his feet and starting talking to us like nothing happened.
As the night progressed people started to tire out and settle down. Harvey was still awake in his chair drinking his shitty Burnett’s. Blake was laying in bed and his phone started going off.
Blake: Harley is this is you I am going to kill you
Harley: hehehehehehehehehe
Blake looks at the phone and rushes Harvey who is still in the chair. Blake is grabbing Harvey’s throat and choking the poor guy. I, being the only guy who probably could pull Blake off Harvey gets up and tried to pull him off. Blake was putting up one hell of a struggle however and would not let go. After finally wrestling him away from Harley and forcibly bringing him to sit down on the bed with me, Blake attempts to get me in a choke. After repeated trying to talk a very inebriated Blake down by reminding him I am his friend and friends don’t murder friends, everything was fine and we all went to bed without incidence.
Tornado Harvey will forever be remembered for his razzle dazzle spin move, and his razzle dazzle concussion.
“DON’T CALL ME HARVEY! MY NAME IS FUCKING HARLEY!” That seemed to be the battle cry for Harley this weekend. Wrist could not remember his name for the life of her and kept calling him Harvey. Once we all realized that this bother him [like good friends] we decided to keep calling him Harvey.
Harvey had purchased a handle of the cheapest shittiest Vodka he could, Burnett. He was drinking Burnett straight for the longest time which Justin thought was just disgusting. As I had said he was drinking it straight and ended up killing about half the bottle that night. So as you can probably guess Harvey was loaded.
After getting out of his chair, which he rarely did that night, he decided he needed to go to the bathroom. What was a routine chore turned into a catastrophe. As he got up he took 3 really large steps. Harvey is kind of a big dude, and by kind of, I mean extremely.
What you have to realize is Harvey went through a wide range of emotions in about 10 seconds. When he took that first step the look of glee in his eyes was breath taking. That second step was another joyess one in his journey to the pooper. That third step though…that third step was where it all went wrong. When his leg extended his knee caught the end of the bed. That threw his already impaired balance off. Once his knee clipped the bed he did his best spin move and tumbled to the ground. When he was going down though, his head smashed into the wall. He went from happy, to really angry, to the saddest sounding whimper I have ever heard.
That whimper was the last thing we heard from Harley for the next few hours because he KO’ed himself on the wall. The weirdest part about this whole thing is that it didn’t seem like he knocked himself out as much as it seemed like he just went into hibernation for a few hours, because once he woke up he got back to his feet and starting talking to us like nothing happened.
As the night progressed people started to tire out and settle down. Harvey was still awake in his chair drinking his shitty Burnett’s. Blake was laying in bed and his phone started going off.
Blake: Harley is this is you I am going to kill you
Harley: hehehehehehehehehe
Blake looks at the phone and rushes Harvey who is still in the chair. Blake is grabbing Harvey’s throat and choking the poor guy. I, being the only guy who probably could pull Blake off Harvey gets up and tried to pull him off. Blake was putting up one hell of a struggle however and would not let go. After finally wrestling him away from Harley and forcibly bringing him to sit down on the bed with me, Blake attempts to get me in a choke. After repeated trying to talk a very inebriated Blake down by reminding him I am his friend and friends don’t murder friends, everything was fine and we all went to bed without incidence.
Tornado Harvey will forever be remembered for his razzle dazzle spin move, and his razzle dazzle concussion.