I'm a stupid fish (rare delving into my mind)
I think I've discovered the driving force behind my fascination with love, loving, and being loved. I have little experience in the deep impact this concept can make. Very little. Scraps of personal experience are the extent of my exposure.
For example, I've never even had a best friend. I have a small amount of close, personal friends...but never a best friend. Not that it really bothers me...it's just sometimes a little disconcerting when you think that everyone on the planet has at least one person they'd rather be stranded somewhere with.
Then again...would I want to be stranded with anyone in particular? I don't know. Probably. But I most CERTAINLY don't know who.
That's how I've developed the friends I have. They accept me for who I am, for better or for worse. As a result, I'm comfortable around them, and I can really be myself. *NOTE: this is the precise reason why I take so long to open up to people...I need to get to know them first, and learn to feel comfortable around them! Who would've thought the reason was as basic as that?*
Another point of interest...the limited contact I've had with personal love has, for the most part, been negative. It figures that I'm an optimist. Trying to find the lure (that everyone else apparently sees as clearly as neon sign in the middle of Nebraska) of this great mystery has captured my mind and spirit.
Honestly, I don't know what keeps drawing me to it. Consider a deep-sea fish...it's swimming along, and it sees a light. Beautiful thing...but it turns out to be an angler fish. That little fishy is either dead or paranoid of that damn light. Or, it may happen to be retarded and goes back.
Man, I am one stupid fish.
And definitely a slow learner. Of course, my extraordinary shyness lends to this. I spend a great deal of time trying to develop confidence in myself. Not generally a beneficial factor, especially considering its drastic contrast with my usually spontaneous nature. Already I'm sending off signals that say that I'm somebody different than my actual self. Also, this shyness makes me fall hard. REALLY hard.
So, I hope you enjoyed, or at least were intrigued by, this small glimpse into the large chasm of my mind. I don't do these often, so be happy with what you got.
-Boots-
For example, I've never even had a best friend. I have a small amount of close, personal friends...but never a best friend. Not that it really bothers me...it's just sometimes a little disconcerting when you think that everyone on the planet has at least one person they'd rather be stranded somewhere with.
Then again...would I want to be stranded with anyone in particular? I don't know. Probably. But I most CERTAINLY don't know who.
That's how I've developed the friends I have. They accept me for who I am, for better or for worse. As a result, I'm comfortable around them, and I can really be myself. *NOTE: this is the precise reason why I take so long to open up to people...I need to get to know them first, and learn to feel comfortable around them! Who would've thought the reason was as basic as that?*
Another point of interest...the limited contact I've had with personal love has, for the most part, been negative. It figures that I'm an optimist. Trying to find the lure (that everyone else apparently sees as clearly as neon sign in the middle of Nebraska) of this great mystery has captured my mind and spirit.
Honestly, I don't know what keeps drawing me to it. Consider a deep-sea fish...it's swimming along, and it sees a light. Beautiful thing...but it turns out to be an angler fish. That little fishy is either dead or paranoid of that damn light. Or, it may happen to be retarded and goes back.
Man, I am one stupid fish.
And definitely a slow learner. Of course, my extraordinary shyness lends to this. I spend a great deal of time trying to develop confidence in myself. Not generally a beneficial factor, especially considering its drastic contrast with my usually spontaneous nature. Already I'm sending off signals that say that I'm somebody different than my actual self. Also, this shyness makes me fall hard. REALLY hard.
So, I hope you enjoyed, or at least were intrigued by, this small glimpse into the large chasm of my mind. I don't do these often, so be happy with what you got.
-Boots-