stuff
I don't remember if I've written about this here before or not. Somebody recently asked me why my relationship with my parents sucks so much. To say I had an unhappy childhood would be.. polite. I was not a happy kid, and my parents weren't exactly the most supportive in the world. I really felt like "the legal obligation" the older I got. I'm adopted, and they had their own child 9 months after I was born. Now, to ask them, they'd always say they treated us both the same, and to their credit, they did try. But, they never understood me. Him, they understood, me, no. My sense of humor is so much different than theirs, I laugh at things, and they don't even understand what it is, let alone why it's funny. Anyway.
As a kid, I would yell "I'm gonna turn 18 and move out and never come back!". they didn't believe me. They should have. I graduated high school, moved off to college. Now. Here's what's wrong with my parents. Growing up, my mothers parents lived on the other side of town, about 5-10 minutes away. We saw them frequently, had dinner with them several nights a week, especially in the summer, when school was out, etc. My dad's parents lived about an hour away, and we'd go see them every other sunday, along with many of my dad's siblings families (I'm one of 16 children in my generation, on my dad's side of the family). Christmas was always a bit of semi-organized chaos. What's the point here? I was always kind of odd man out during the sundays at grandma and grandpa's house. My mother's parents, on the other hand, well, I saw a lot more of them, than dad's side of the family. I learned to cook hanging out in my grandmother's kitchen. Anyway, I moved off to college. I had a state scholarship, which would pay the tuition to one of the 5 state universities, or partial tuition to anywhere else in state. So, I picked the school that was 3 hours away, in the 3rd largest city in the state, mostly because I wanted to be somewhere that, as I described it, wouldn't shrivel up and die if the college went away. I don't like "college towns", they drive me nuts. So, here I am, 18 years old, living in a dorm, 3 hours away from my parents, family, and everybody I've ever known in my life. I was happy. My parents would call about once a week, and I'd blah blah with them on the phone for as short a time as I could. I mean, I WAS still dependent on them for financial support, so I couldn't just totally cut them off. Anyway. One day, I am sitting in my dorm room, and my phone rings, and it's my rotten little brother. remember him? he's 9 months younger than me. A year behind me in school, so he's a senior in high school. It's thursday, he says to me "when are you coming home, grandma's funeral is tomorrow!" To which I said "funeral? What the hell do you mean, funeral?" he says "grandma died monday night. mom and dad said not to call you, but her funeral is tomorrow, and you're not here!"
at that point, I hung up, left my roommate a note, walked the 2 blocks to my car, and drove the 3 hours home. now, this was in the days before cell phone and such, so I couldn't exactly be on the phone saying "what the hell". so I finally get home, I'm numb, just. numb. the 1 person in my entire family who didn't treat me different, and she's dead, and nobody told me. I get home, walk in the door, and my dad is like "what are you doing here" and I am like "uh, hello, somebody died and nobody told me" to which his answer was, get this "we knew you had a test on friday morning, we were going to call you right after, so you could come to the funeral" yeah. friday morning. because I had a test. like I give a flying fuck about a test. so, i'm angry, and sad, but i'll live. then my uncle walks in, and I'm like, well, when did you get here.. my uncle who lives in phoenix, AZ. apparently, he arrived monday night. before his mother died. apparently, when the doctors decided she wasn't likely to make it through the night, they called both my mom's bothers, who proceeded to hop airplanes and fly to missouri. time from call to arrive at bedside? a little over 4 hours. time from where I was to bedside? a little over 3 hours. did I get a phone call? no. why? well, because, I had a test friday, I needed to be able to study for it. that, boys and girls, is why the relationship with my parents sucks so bad. when the first person to ever treat me like I was something other than "the other kid that they're stuck with now" was on her deathbed, I didn't get a call. I didn't even get a call that night. Or the next. No, I didn't get a call till thursday, and from my brother, of all people. The kid that I fought with all the time? yeah. him.
so, ya'll that think I've got a rotten attitude? you're right. I do.
As a kid, I would yell "I'm gonna turn 18 and move out and never come back!". they didn't believe me. They should have. I graduated high school, moved off to college. Now. Here's what's wrong with my parents. Growing up, my mothers parents lived on the other side of town, about 5-10 minutes away. We saw them frequently, had dinner with them several nights a week, especially in the summer, when school was out, etc. My dad's parents lived about an hour away, and we'd go see them every other sunday, along with many of my dad's siblings families (I'm one of 16 children in my generation, on my dad's side of the family). Christmas was always a bit of semi-organized chaos. What's the point here? I was always kind of odd man out during the sundays at grandma and grandpa's house. My mother's parents, on the other hand, well, I saw a lot more of them, than dad's side of the family. I learned to cook hanging out in my grandmother's kitchen. Anyway, I moved off to college. I had a state scholarship, which would pay the tuition to one of the 5 state universities, or partial tuition to anywhere else in state. So, I picked the school that was 3 hours away, in the 3rd largest city in the state, mostly because I wanted to be somewhere that, as I described it, wouldn't shrivel up and die if the college went away. I don't like "college towns", they drive me nuts. So, here I am, 18 years old, living in a dorm, 3 hours away from my parents, family, and everybody I've ever known in my life. I was happy. My parents would call about once a week, and I'd blah blah with them on the phone for as short a time as I could. I mean, I WAS still dependent on them for financial support, so I couldn't just totally cut them off. Anyway. One day, I am sitting in my dorm room, and my phone rings, and it's my rotten little brother. remember him? he's 9 months younger than me. A year behind me in school, so he's a senior in high school. It's thursday, he says to me "when are you coming home, grandma's funeral is tomorrow!" To which I said "funeral? What the hell do you mean, funeral?" he says "grandma died monday night. mom and dad said not to call you, but her funeral is tomorrow, and you're not here!"
at that point, I hung up, left my roommate a note, walked the 2 blocks to my car, and drove the 3 hours home. now, this was in the days before cell phone and such, so I couldn't exactly be on the phone saying "what the hell". so I finally get home, I'm numb, just. numb. the 1 person in my entire family who didn't treat me different, and she's dead, and nobody told me. I get home, walk in the door, and my dad is like "what are you doing here" and I am like "uh, hello, somebody died and nobody told me" to which his answer was, get this "we knew you had a test on friday morning, we were going to call you right after, so you could come to the funeral" yeah. friday morning. because I had a test. like I give a flying fuck about a test. so, i'm angry, and sad, but i'll live. then my uncle walks in, and I'm like, well, when did you get here.. my uncle who lives in phoenix, AZ. apparently, he arrived monday night. before his mother died. apparently, when the doctors decided she wasn't likely to make it through the night, they called both my mom's bothers, who proceeded to hop airplanes and fly to missouri. time from call to arrive at bedside? a little over 4 hours. time from where I was to bedside? a little over 3 hours. did I get a phone call? no. why? well, because, I had a test friday, I needed to be able to study for it. that, boys and girls, is why the relationship with my parents sucks so bad. when the first person to ever treat me like I was something other than "the other kid that they're stuck with now" was on her deathbed, I didn't get a call. I didn't even get a call that night. Or the next. No, I didn't get a call till thursday, and from my brother, of all people. The kid that I fought with all the time? yeah. him.
so, ya'll that think I've got a rotten attitude? you're right. I do.