[Drabbles] Ed!Abuse!
(This is the point at which kaltia tells me I shouldn't be archiving *all* of the fic I've written on ishnaru XD My apologies for the eyes I am going to be destroying ^_~)
Title: That Time of the Month
Pairing: None
Author: cryogenia
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Warnings in effect: None, unless I need to warn for "idiots" :)
The Rockbell workshop was supposed to be world famous for its service, but so far Mrs. Dunway had yet to see why. She'd been standing in the foyer for at least ten minutes now, and no one had yet come to see about filling the order. In fact, the only person she'd seen at all had been a little old lady, who'd just taken her name and disappeared into the back. Where was the legendary Pinako, who was so highly recommended in Rush Valley? More and more, she was beginning to wish she had just told her husband no. If he wanted this stuff so bad, he could get it himself.
To make matters worse, it wasn't like she could go and sit on the waiting bench. THAT was currently occupied by a small, trembling figure, swaddled in blankets and quite pointedly ignoring the rest of the world. A single plait of blond hair peeked out from beneath the cloth and draped gently over the edge of the seat - Pinako's granddaughter, perhaps? She was supposed to be a decent mechanic too, but she certainly wasn't going to get very far with *that* sort of attitude. Not like her darling Nicholas. Now there was someone you could look up to in business. Men for miles around looked over at her husband and called him a 'go-getter'. (Mrs. Dunway didn't actually know what 'go-getter' meant, but it certainly sounded good at parties.)
A clock chimed somewhere deep within the house, punctuated by a low, sickly whimper from the bench. Mrs. Dunway turned toward it warily, half-expecting to see some wounded, wild animal; but the only thing lying there (as always) was the blonde kid. For the first time, she wondered why exactly the girl was holding so awfully tense. It didn't look right.
"Are you alright, child?" She asked finally, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Perhaps there was a valid reason she was huddling on the bench and ignoring her patrons.
No answer. Well, if there was actually something wrong with the girl, she certainly hoped it wasn't contagious. Lord knew the last thing she needed to do was catch cold.
The diminuitive old woman was back now, carrying a box and some strange looking gears. Still no sign of this amazing 'Pinako'. Mrs. Dunway had half a mind to ask if he was even in, but politeness bade her hold her tongue.
"What's wrong with the kid?" She asked instead, a little concerned.
"Don't worry about it." The old lady said, peering into a cabinet. "Just the usual."
"Ah." Mrs. Dunway sniffed as the pieces clicked into place. That made sense, though it was certainly disappointing. That was the problem with girls these days...they just didn't know how to deal with a little pain. Lack of spine and all that.
"Female trouble, I take it?"
The pile of blankets pitched upwards and started growling quite alarmingly, causing Mrs. Dunway to wonder whether or not there might be an animal in there after all. For some reason, the old lady snickered.
"No," A young girl said suddenly, looming out of nowhere to answer her question. "Automail adjustment, actually." She flipped her blond ponytail over her shoulder and smiled wickedly. "But I'm sure HE'LL be happy to take it up with you when he's feeling better."
Title: Additions
Pairing: None
Author: cryogenia
Genre: Humor, CRACK
Rating: PG
Warnings in effect: Also Mean to Ed. A bit of gender-bending if you please...
It wasn't so much the breasts that had gotten to him.
Truth be told, they were secretly sort of...interesting. Once he got over the initial hysteria - that he was monstruous and dying, a blight on humanity, his friends would abandon him, the whole world was ending, etc - he realized it wasn't nearly as bad as he'd been making it out to be. Once they'd assured him that it was just a hormonal imbalance, not a rebound at all (take two pills two times daily, you'll be right in two weeks) he'd decided he could endure. It was winter in the north, which meant thick parkas and furs; most of the time they were holed up in the laboratory anyways. As long as he remembered to wear a thick sweater outside, and kept a careful thousand miles from Roy Mustang and Pinako, he was confident he could survive the disaster unscathed. And, because Al was being sensitive about the whole thing (or at least, tired of listening to him rant), he had taken to leaving his brother alone in the library for long periods of time -- which had, of course, given Edward more time for exploring the 'hardware'. They weren't like girl breasts, really just tiny swellings, but an hour alone and those soft, perky mounds to look down at--
No, it wasn't the breasts per se he was complaining about.
It was when his body had, of its own accord, suddenly started to produce milk that Edward Elric had realized he was well, and truly, damned.
A/N: And before you wank, yes, this is possible. It's called gynecomastia, it is in fact caused by a hormone imbalance, and otherwise normal fifteen year old boys WILL in fact start to lactate as a result @_@
*runs and hides now*
Title: That Time of the Month
Pairing: None
Author: cryogenia
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG
Warnings in effect: None, unless I need to warn for "idiots" :)
The Rockbell workshop was supposed to be world famous for its service, but so far Mrs. Dunway had yet to see why. She'd been standing in the foyer for at least ten minutes now, and no one had yet come to see about filling the order. In fact, the only person she'd seen at all had been a little old lady, who'd just taken her name and disappeared into the back. Where was the legendary Pinako, who was so highly recommended in Rush Valley? More and more, she was beginning to wish she had just told her husband no. If he wanted this stuff so bad, he could get it himself.
To make matters worse, it wasn't like she could go and sit on the waiting bench. THAT was currently occupied by a small, trembling figure, swaddled in blankets and quite pointedly ignoring the rest of the world. A single plait of blond hair peeked out from beneath the cloth and draped gently over the edge of the seat - Pinako's granddaughter, perhaps? She was supposed to be a decent mechanic too, but she certainly wasn't going to get very far with *that* sort of attitude. Not like her darling Nicholas. Now there was someone you could look up to in business. Men for miles around looked over at her husband and called him a 'go-getter'. (Mrs. Dunway didn't actually know what 'go-getter' meant, but it certainly sounded good at parties.)
A clock chimed somewhere deep within the house, punctuated by a low, sickly whimper from the bench. Mrs. Dunway turned toward it warily, half-expecting to see some wounded, wild animal; but the only thing lying there (as always) was the blonde kid. For the first time, she wondered why exactly the girl was holding so awfully tense. It didn't look right.
"Are you alright, child?" She asked finally, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Perhaps there was a valid reason she was huddling on the bench and ignoring her patrons.
No answer. Well, if there was actually something wrong with the girl, she certainly hoped it wasn't contagious. Lord knew the last thing she needed to do was catch cold.
The diminuitive old woman was back now, carrying a box and some strange looking gears. Still no sign of this amazing 'Pinako'. Mrs. Dunway had half a mind to ask if he was even in, but politeness bade her hold her tongue.
"What's wrong with the kid?" She asked instead, a little concerned.
"Don't worry about it." The old lady said, peering into a cabinet. "Just the usual."
"Ah." Mrs. Dunway sniffed as the pieces clicked into place. That made sense, though it was certainly disappointing. That was the problem with girls these days...they just didn't know how to deal with a little pain. Lack of spine and all that.
"Female trouble, I take it?"
The pile of blankets pitched upwards and started growling quite alarmingly, causing Mrs. Dunway to wonder whether or not there might be an animal in there after all. For some reason, the old lady snickered.
"No," A young girl said suddenly, looming out of nowhere to answer her question. "Automail adjustment, actually." She flipped her blond ponytail over her shoulder and smiled wickedly. "But I'm sure HE'LL be happy to take it up with you when he's feeling better."
Title: Additions
Pairing: None
Author: cryogenia
Genre: Humor, CRACK
Rating: PG
Warnings in effect: Also Mean to Ed. A bit of gender-bending if you please...
It wasn't so much the breasts that had gotten to him.
Truth be told, they were secretly sort of...interesting. Once he got over the initial hysteria - that he was monstruous and dying, a blight on humanity, his friends would abandon him, the whole world was ending, etc - he realized it wasn't nearly as bad as he'd been making it out to be. Once they'd assured him that it was just a hormonal imbalance, not a rebound at all (take two pills two times daily, you'll be right in two weeks) he'd decided he could endure. It was winter in the north, which meant thick parkas and furs; most of the time they were holed up in the laboratory anyways. As long as he remembered to wear a thick sweater outside, and kept a careful thousand miles from Roy Mustang and Pinako, he was confident he could survive the disaster unscathed. And, because Al was being sensitive about the whole thing (or at least, tired of listening to him rant), he had taken to leaving his brother alone in the library for long periods of time -- which had, of course, given Edward more time for exploring the 'hardware'. They weren't like girl breasts, really just tiny swellings, but an hour alone and those soft, perky mounds to look down at--
No, it wasn't the breasts per se he was complaining about.
It was when his body had, of its own accord, suddenly started to produce milk that Edward Elric had realized he was well, and truly, damned.
A/N: And before you wank, yes, this is possible. It's called gynecomastia, it is in fact caused by a hormone imbalance, and otherwise normal fifteen year old boys WILL in fact start to lactate as a result @_@
*runs and hides now*