Vince and Howard's Infinite Playlist
Title: Vince and Howard's Infinite Playlist (Chapter 9)
Pairing: Howince
Summary: A series of drabbles based on songs.
Rating: R, or strong R depending on your outlook
Warnings: none really
Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh. OMG, I know, it’s soooooo wierd, right? WTF?!?!?!?!? Song belongs to Bow Wow Wow.
Sorry again for the wait, been buuuusssyyyy!!!!! Anyway, this fic is borderline crack, but it also has some sexytime, just so you know. I think it turned out pretty good, so enjoy!
Title: Vince and Howard's Infinite Playlist (Chapter 9)
Pairing: Howince
Summary: A series of drabbles based on songs.
Rating: R, or strong R depending on your outlook
Warnings: none really
Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh. OMG, I know, it’s soooooo wierd, right? WTF?!?!?!?!? Song belongs to Bow Wow Wow.
Aphrodisiac by Bow Wow Wow
Take an a-a-aphrodisiac, don't do no-no-nothing, just relax
Your ha-ha-heart goes pitter-pat, take an a-a-aphrodisiac
“You sure this will work?” Bollo grunted.
“Yep!” Naboo said cheerily. “One dose of this and Vince won’t even think about mucking about with the occult while we’re at the Board meeting.” He reached up into his silky sleeves and pulled out a small pink bottle. The label on it read “Aphrodite’s Aphrodisiac-Guaranteed to Get Even the Ugliest of the Ugly Laid”. He opened the bottle and poured a good-sized amount into a cup of tea that Vince had left on the coffee table. The drink fizzled for a second and a heart made of pink smoke rose out of it, smelling of exotic flowers. After a moment the drink returned to normal and looked like an innocent cup of tea again.
“This seems kind of wrong.” Bollo grunted under his breath while making sure no one was coming into the room.
Naboo shrugged, “Well, it’s his fault for leaving his drinks out.”
“You’re the one who let slip that there demon of fashion that he can summon.”
“Shut up.” Naboo said between clenched teeth. Suddenly they heard the sound of footsteps and Naboo quickly threw the bottle under the table, thankful that it didn’t break. They resumed getting ready for the meeting just as Vince walked in.
“All right?” he greeted. “I thought you two would have set off by now.”
“We just had a couple things to do.” Naboo replied in his normal mellow tone. “If you’re looking for your tea, it’s right over there.”
“Ah, cheers Naboo!” He picked up the mug and took a large gulp, making Naboo smirk and Bollo’s eyes go shifty.
“So what are you doing tonight?” Naboo asked casually.
“Staying here with Howard and taking full advantage of having the flat to ourselves.” he said wickedly.
“Just don’t do it on the kitchen counter, okay?”
“Hey, that was only one time!” he said cheekily. Naboo rolled his eyes and headed to his carpet, smirking again as Vince took another drink of his tea. Vince watched them fly out of the flat and smiled. Naboo suspected that he would be too busy with Howard to summon that demon. Oh yes, he would keep him up all night, but first he planned to go shopping for a genius outfit with the fashion demon!
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About ten minutes later Vince had drained his mug and flipped through the latest Cheekbone. For reasons he didn’t know his mind was a bit foggy and he couldn’t concentrate very well. He drowsily used the loo and washed his mug out, but even these mundane tasks seemed to fog up his mind even more. He flopped on the couch and tried to rest his head. It was probably just some sort of weird headache. Howard would know what to do. When he came back from jazz night he could get him something for it. Howard...yes, Howard could hold him and run his hands all down his back and kiss his neck. Yeah, Howard would make him feel very nice. He noticed that he had started to sweat and he took his shirt off. He looked down and realized that he was also sporting a rather large erection. He moaned and lay down. What was up with him? He didn’t know, but all that he knew was that he wanted Howard badly. All he could think of was being ravished by his jazzy boyfriend. He wanted to feel his heat against his, wanted him to kiss him, bite him, completely and utterly fuck his brains out. His erection was taking a mind of its own and was straining painfully against his black drainpipes. He kicked off his boots and took off the offending garment, leaving only his red boxer-briefs. Oh, Howard loved those. He flopped back on the couch and let out a moan of pure lust. He reached down and took his cock out of the underwear and started stroking it. He panted and started shaking violently as he stroked faster and faster...he stopped and covered himself up again. It wasn’t enough, he needed Howard. He let the fever take him over as he waited for his love.
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“Skippity-be bop, do-wop...” Howard scatted happily. It had been a particuarly successful jazz night. He was also looking forward to having some alone time with Vince while Naboo and Bollo were off doing God knows what at a Board of Shaman meeting. He walked into the shop and took off his coat. “Vince?” he called out. The man in question stirred from his almost coma-like state and felt himself get even hotter. He lifted himself off the couch and stumbled a bit. Howard heard him and went up the stairs, concerned that he may have fallen down or broken something. “Vince?” he called out again. He almost fell down the stairs when Vince jumped on him, wrapping his legs around his waist and shoving his tongue in his mouth. For a moment Howard melted and kissed him back but then noticed that something seemed to be wrong. Vince’s skin was burning hot, like he had a fever, and he was shaking like a leaf. He took Vince over to the couch and set him down, but as soon as he did Vince grabbed his shirt and violently pulled Howard on top of him. Howard pulled away once again, despite Vince clawing on him like Colobus the Crab. “Vince, calm down, I think you’re sick!”
“Uh huh.” Vince panted. “Make me feel better.” he begged, starting to unbutton his shirt. Howard could tell that he was dazed by his voice and his pupils were so dilated that he could barely see the blue anymore. Then he noticed the small bottle under the coffee table. He read the label and immediately knew what was going on.
Yesterday
“You know, Vince won’t stop talking about that demon now.” Howard said to Naboo as they were fixing tea.
“Oh, don’t worry.” Naboo said calmly.”I’m planning on giving Vince something that’ll distract him.”
“What, like money so he can go to Topshop? Because that’s just going to encourage him to raise that demon even more so he has a shopping partner.”
“Nah, funds are too tight for any pay raises. But it’s good. You’ll see.” the small man said, calmly walking away.
Oh, Jesus. Howard thought that Naboo would give him a new mirror or a bag of sweets or something. He’d drugged him? For a moment he was furious, but then Vince ripped off his shirt as he’d gotten frustrated with the buttons and wasted no time in unzipping his pants and reaching in. Howard growled and pinned Vince to the couch. After all, the only way to get an aphrodisiac out of your system was to do it the way God intended.
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“Oi, Saboo!”
“What d’you want, you plum preserve?”
“Allright, cool it, I just came to pay you back for that aphrodisiac I bought off you!”
“Ah, so you kept your word for once, eh Naboo? Told ya it was good stuff.”
“This is an outrage, you stole that aphrodisiac from my personal collection! That money should be going to me!”
“Shut your face, you overgrown hemorrhoid! It’s not like any amount of that stuff would help YOU in the intimacy department anyway!”
“How dare you, I get more arse in one day than you do in a year!”
“You don’t even have any parts as far as I can see! How can you?”
“You don’t know my reproductive system, it’s under me tentacles! Looks just like one of them except a foot longer!”
“Oh, you are so full of shit!”
“I am not! I reel the ladies in, they don’t even know it’s coming and then bang, I come in for the kill! They don’t even know what hits them ‘cause it blends in with me tentacles!”
“Ugh, why do I even bother acknowledging you?”
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Vince was moving up and down on Howard in pure bliss, practically screaming when Howard pulled him down and took the dominant position. He raked his fingernails down Howard’s back hard enough to leave scratches. Howard moaned loudly and spilled himself into Vince, the smaller man losing control right after him. He pulled out of Vince and lay down beside him, expecting him to settle down. Instead he kept panting and clutched onto Howard like a spider monkey. “Again.” he whimpered.
Howard’s eyes widened. “Vince, I may be a man of action, but I can’t start again that fast.”
“No, no, more...” he whined, then passed out cold next to him. Howard thought that he should check the back of the bottle for the side effects.
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It was eight in the morning when Naboo and Bollo returned. They found Howard making himself a cup of tea in the kitchen. He looked exhausted and was covered in bite marks and scratches. “Looks like the aphrodisiac worked.” Naboo said casually.
“Yeah, about that stuff...”
“Don’t thank me, it wasn’t a big deal.”
“Let me finish. It turns out that one dose is a teaspoon. Judging from the amount left in the bottle, you gave Vince six doses. He has a 104 degree fever, can barely walk, and is so delirious that he sometimes can’t even remember where he is or who he is.”
Naboo and Bollo looked at each other and then to the floor. “Sorry about that.” Naboo said quietly.
“I never said you had to be sorry.” he said, sitting on the couch. “Actually, I didn’t mind it at all. I just want to make sure that he’s going to be okay.”
Naboo and Bollo sighed in relief. “Yeah, he’ll be fine, it’ll wear off eventually and he’ll go back to normal. And you’re welcome.” Just then Vince slumped in. If Howard looked bad then Vince looked like he had been through a war.
“Owww, my head hurts.” he moaned.
“Hey Vince, why so glum? We heard you had a great time last night.” Naboo said cheekily, Bollo laughing.
“Huh? Do I know you? Oh, is that you Naboo, Bollo? Didn’t recognize you. Mmm, my head...” he mumbled. He crawled onto Howard’s lap and nuzzled his neck. “You can make me feel better, can’t you Howard?” he asked breathily. He started to shower Howard’s neck in kisses and bites and pushed him back on the couch.
“Yeah, could you work the stuff out of his system in your own room?” Naboo asked as he and Bollo shielded their eyes.
“C’mon, you little minx.” Howard sighed, picking him up and taking him to their room.