Fic: The Dare 3/3
You know the score... companion to 'The Bet' series... best to read that first... is linked in Part 1. :)
Title: The Dare 3/3
Pairing: Howince
Summary: Howard and Vince fight. Will they make up? Will Howard sing? More importantly, will Howard ever love the pink hair ribbons?
Word Count: 2,134
Warnings: Much fluff, some angst, some swearing, Britney!Howard.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Alas, they are not mine. No money being made.
Author's Notes: Thanks to those who humoured me by reading this and leaving comments. :)
'Blewoutthestars' is, as always thanked enormously for her beta'ing goodness.
Part 1: http://community.livejournal.com/booshslashhaven/517139.html
Part 2: http://community.livejournal.com/booshslashhaven/523587.html
"Vince, do I look as retarded as I think I do?"
Howard was met with laughter. Hysterical laughter which bounced around the room like a ping pong ball. Vince was a right wanker.
"’Course not Howard, you probably look much worse."
"Not exactly a confidence giver are you, Vince?"
Vince attempted to stifle his giggles by holding the back of his hand against his mouth. After a few seconds he seemed to succeed, and he dropped his hand, grinning up at Howard.
"You asked me a question; I answered in the only way I know how. Malicious honesty, adorably delivered."
Admittedly, it was hard to be mad at Vince when he looked at you the way he was currently looking at Howard. His big blue eyes and toothy smile combo was always a powerful one, and seemed to hypnotise Howard into instantly forgiving him most of the time.
Come on Howard you wet fart, stand up for yourself!
Howard really needed to see a shrink or something, it was not normal to be bullied by your own brain.
"You wouldn't go up to Jagger and tell him he looked ridiculous just before he goes on stage would you? No, it would crush his spirit, so take that back sir."
Howard wasn't sure whether it was the fact he'd just flicked one of his bunches over his shoulder dramatically, or the fact he'd just compared himself to Mick Jagger that made Vince crease up with laughter again.
"Howard?"
"What?"
"You really are a tit monkey."
"Slightly unnecessary, Vince."
"Mick Jagger is a genius; as if he'd ever look anything like the mess you've transformed into. You look more like Barry Spears than Britney Spears."
"Who is Barry Spears?"
"A rubbish drag queen? Transsexual gone wrong? A lady boy? You choose, the possibilities are endless."
"Right. Done are you?"
He didn't let Vince answer. Howard walked back into the toilet cubicle, and slammed the door shut. He was majorly pissed off that Vince wasn't at least attempting to support him. He knew that sounded a bit girly, but after all, he was doing all this for Vince, and all Vince was doing was mocking him like a playground bully. If this is how Vince Noir acts when he's in love, then Howard wondered if it was worth the pain and humiliation after all.
Whatever Moon, you'd eat road kill if you thought it would make him happy.
Howard wondered if there was any way of removing his brain that wouldn't kill him.
He was resisting the urge to give himself a Chinese burn as he heard Vince's footsteps approach the cubicle door.
"I'm sorry, Howard. I'm a dick. Come outta there."
Howard suddenly wondered if Vince was using his eyes/teeth combination on the closed door. If so, the door would probably jump off its hinges and give him a hug, if it wasn't such an inanimate object of course.
He's not sorry Howard, he's playing with you. The moment you leave this cubicle he's going to laugh at you again...
The brain was probably right. Stupid brain.
I heard that.
"Sorry brain." Howard mumbled.
So you should be, I'm only trying to help.
"So help me then."
You're pathetic.
"Nice."
Between his brain and Vince, Howard was beginning to feel like a battered wife; he did have the right outfit on. Howard sat down on the toilet lid, automatically lowering his head into his hands.
Vince just didn't get it, did he? A small part of him had just assumed that Vince knew he did these stupid things to show that he loved him. After all, Vince knew him better than anyone, or he was supposed to.
"Howard, come on. Please."
Vince's voice was quiet, pleading almost. He started lightly tapping on the door.
This was such a mess; how the hell had they got here? After they'd confessed their feelings, things were supposed to get easier. He now had a free reign to hold Vince whenever he wanted, to kiss him, to do... other stuff. So why weren't they doing it? Why weren't they enjoying that 'honeymoon period' Howard had heard so much about? Why weren't they having mad sex up against tables and fridges? Why were they arguing in public toilets while he was dressed like a tranny? It wasn't just Howard's fault, he knew that. If Vince had wanted to break this tension then he could have already. Maybe he didn't want to be with Howard, not deep down. That thought broke Howard a little.
"This isn't the way it was supposed to be Vince."
Howard hadn't meant to say it out loud, but he had and he couldn't take it back. He heard a noise that sounded like Vince hitting his head against the door, after a few taps, he seemed to leave it resting there.
"I know."
"Why is everything so fucked up?"
The reply was a whisper so quiet that Howard almost didn't hear it.
"I don't deserve you, Howard."
Howard shook his head, even though he knew Vince couldn't see him.
"Don't talk rubbish."
"I'm not talking rubbish."
Howard could hear the pout in his voice, and was suddenly very glad Vince was the other side of the door.
"Howard I make you do these things, and you do them without question. And I let you because I’m a selfish git who can't help himself."
Howard stood up and faced the door. He pulled the ribbons out of his hair; he couldn't have a serious conversation with pink ribbons in his hair. (He really hated those fucking ribbons.)
"Vince, you don't make me do them. I'm Howard Moon, I'm my own man. I wouldn't do them if I didn't want to."
"Howard, you're not your own man. You're like play-doh, only softer and easier to mould."
He heard Vince laugh lightly, and anger seeped into Howard's veins. Before he could rationalise it, he banged his fist hard against the door.
"You can't help but put me down can you Vince? Here I am dressed as pissing Britney Spears, all for you, and you can't even acknowledge it. I'm just a Goddamn joke to you aren't I?"
Apparently now it was Vince's turn to be angry. Howard jumped back in surprise, as Vince banged furiously on the door with his own fists.
"It didn't have to go this far Howard! If you were just honest with me, then this could all be over!"
"What do you mean?"
Howard knew what he meant.
More banging ensued. The door rattled as Vince continued to assault it; this was some hissy-fit he was throwing. Rather the door than his face though, Howard thought.
"Just tell me you've changed your mind! Tell me it was a mistake telling me you loved me! I know you're only doing these things for me because you feel guilty. I'm not stupid Howard!"
Frustrated, Howard kicked the door, a crack appeared where his foot hit it.
"If you honestly think that, then you are the most stupid person I know Vince!"
"Fuck you, Howard!"
"Very mature response."
The door received another childish smack from Vince.
After a few minutes of silence, Howard leant forward so his head was resting against the door. A small thud indicated that Vince was also leaning against the door, forehead pressed against the cold, slightly battered surface. Howard was suddenly very aware that their faces were really only inches apart.
Don't kiss the door...
Howard groaned, more at the situation than at his brain for a change.
"I haven't changed my mind."
Silence.
"Did you hear me, Vince?"
"I heard you."
Vince's voice cracked as he spoke.
"I just don't believe you. You don't touch me Howard; I'm always the one that makes contact. It's like you're repulsed by me."
"How could I ever be repulsed by you?"
"Yeah, I'd thought that myself."
Howard smiled, feeling the anger in the room start to slowly dissolve.
"I am not repulsed by you Vince, far from it."
"I don't understand you Howard. You have a proper messed up mind box."
"I don't really understand myself either; it's like, I have all these deep, intellectual feelings and emotions that are desperate to come out. But they won't, they are trapped in my head, the fear is keeping them locked there. Does that make sense?"
"No, not at all. It makes you sound a bit mental."
Howard laughed despite himself.
"I suppose it does."
"Howard?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Howard smiled against the door.
"I love you too."
"Howard?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you... erm, I mean, can we... do this properly? I mean, you know, can we do this in a way that it's ok if I try and hold your hand in public and stuff, without you punching me?"
"Are you asking me if I’ll be your boyfriend Vince?"
Howard couldn't keep the smirk out of his voice. Vince Noir was asking him out, he suddenly felt thirteen again.
"Don't take the piss! I've never asked anyone out before, I’ve never had to!"
Howard backed away from the door, unlocking it, and pulling it open. Forgetting Vince was leaning against it, he was surprised when his body unceremoniously fell against Howard's. Catching him by the hips, Howard steadied him. Vince's eyes were puffy and glassy where he'd been crying, his eyeliner slightly smudged in the corner of his eyes. Howard had never seen him look prettier.
"Are you sure this is what you want? I mean, look at me. I'm a northern twat in a mini skirt."
"Yeah, but you're my northern twat. In my mini skirt."
"That's sweet... sort of."
Vince pulled down on Howard's tie so his head was forced towards his own, and he quickly trapped Howard's lips in a sloppy kiss. Howard reached forward, and closed the door behind Vince, pushing him against it, deepening the kiss. He had a lot of time to make up for, and he intending on making the most of every opportunity from now on. Howard found himself instantly hard, and discovered mini skirts were not good erection hiders; it didn't take Vince long to notice his arousal. Vince pulled away from Howard, giving him a lustful smile as he grabbed Howard's shirt and moved them ‘round so they'd switched positions. Howard now found himself being pushed against the door by the smaller man. Vince attached himself to Howard's neck, biting and kissing the skin there. Howard couldn't help but squirm against Vince's body, inadvertently grinding his erection against Vince's flat stomach. He felt Vince's nimble fingers travel from his chest, down to the hem of his skirt. His body lurched forwards as Vince palmed his erection through the skirt.
"GUH... Vince."
Dead sexy Howard.
Howard was about to respond to his pesky brain, but suddenly...
CRACK!
Howard found himself falling backwards, as the door gave way under their weight (and probably the battering it had received.) He landed painfully on his back, Vince falling with him. They both looked at each other, and burst out laughing.
"You alright old man?"
"You're not going to make me sing are you, Vince?"
Howard looked up at Vince pleadingly. Vince took a while to respond.
"Nah, I never really wanted you to. Was just hoping something as extreme as this might break you."
He paused.
"But you were really going to do it weren't you Howard?"
"Yeah, I probably was."
Vince climbed off Howard's body and stood up. Howard followed suit, accidentally catching sight of himself in the mirror again. He really did look like a knob.
"But you realise you've failed the Dare."
Howard turned his attention back to Vince.
"Well I failed the Bet too, so it only seems right I should fail this as well."
Vince walked up to Howard with a devilish glint in his eyes.
"Wanna know what your punishment is?"
Feeling Vince's arms snake round his waist, he suddenly decided he very much wanted to know.
"Go on."
Vince raised himself onto his tip toes, and whispered into Howard's ear.
"You have to let me take you home and bum you furiously."
Howard laughed at the bluntness, but was more than happy with his punishment.
"I'm willing to take that punishment."
"Genius."
He was pretty sure he'd never seen Vince look so pleased with himself.
"Let's go!"
Howard watched as Vince bounded out of the door. Before following, he pulled out the piece of paper from his pocket. Looking at it wistfully, he was glad he'd never had to show it to Vince. Now he'd found the words, he didn't need actions anymore. He screwed up the bit of paper and threw it towards the bin. It missed of course, but Howard didn't notice. He was already out of the door.