Moar Slag!Noel from The NME...
Santa Claus edited the 'letters' page in this weeks NME...
THE MIGHTY BOFF
Dear Santa, can you give me some more penises? I was thinking one at the base of my spine, and one on each shin? It's just that, at the moment, I can only satisfy five women at once and I think I'm letting the side down.
Noel Fielding, London
SC - Sorry Noel, I am just a fictional embodiment of pure human goodness, and as such do not possess the power to graft extra penises on the bodies of comic androgynes. However, I will meet you half way, and send you a little something of my own devising that will help you. Basically, it's a load of dildos stuck to a conveyor belt, rigged up to a Volvo engine. It goes like the clappers. Got me and the missus through a bad patch.
THE MIGHTY BOFF
Dear Santa, can you give me some more penises? I was thinking one at the base of my spine, and one on each shin? It's just that, at the moment, I can only satisfy five women at once and I think I'm letting the side down.
Noel Fielding, London
SC - Sorry Noel, I am just a fictional embodiment of pure human goodness, and as such do not possess the power to graft extra penises on the bodies of comic androgynes. However, I will meet you half way, and send you a little something of my own devising that will help you. Basically, it's a load of dildos stuck to a conveyor belt, rigged up to a Volvo engine. It goes like the clappers. Got me and the missus through a bad patch.