GET REAL!!

[boonquisha]

Righ tNow i am crying. I ams o done with ALL this Bull! ALl of IT! Gosh--Sam i guess i'll say what i told u-- I have been having some of the roughest times ever! EVER EVER EVER! and like ALL last week, I cried. yup i cried EVERYDAY! Just because i've been takin on other ppl's stress and getting no love in return. And i hate it and i'm DONE doing stuff for taht specific person and pretty done with being helpful at all. Anyway, yes, how do i say this. It goes from having a B in student council to TJ being a dumb freshman. And all thats in between--this makes no sense, but ok i think that I haven't been real with myself and i think that a lot of people are FAKE. Including myself, so dont get me wrong. Um-- i follow trends but not so much that i change and I don't flip-flop a lot. Like really this may be messed up and a lot of ppl may hate me for this, but im willing to take that risk-- This whole Marissa thing has blown over and i think everyone should stop dwelling on it, except for tha fact that i read journals talking about omg marissa is so bad doing blah blah and then a few entrys later, everyuone should leave her alone! she's not bad n im not saying she is, cuz i could care less, i think its old news, but i mean flip-floppin and then OMG i hate this person and she's such a B--- and we'll never be cool again and all that and then-- o we're working out--we're cool now. But c taht great! Francesca and Sam were too cool too not become cool again, but when u say so many evil things about her and then u guys r cool out the blue, its weird and i can say this, but i wouldn't be contradicted myself. YEs, i've been mad and talked stuff, but to the EXTREME like all this fighting that's been goin on the past few weeks, i dont think ur can recover from that and just be fine with each other. Mandi, no matter how many times I smiled in her face and said it was all good, it wasn't and in the end, i came out and showed that i really couldn't fix everything and no this aint my place maybe, but i really wanted to say that. and another thing, so many people claim to be my freind, but they just aren't there. I think it's GAY and MESSED UP when a chic like Leslie comes in that i USED to hate and have only been friends with for less thana month comes in and is more genuine than the ones i've known since 7th and 8th and 9th grade. TO MYSELF AND EVERYONE-- GET REAL AND BE A LEADER! STOP FOLLOWING PPL PLEASE! I may be a b*tch right now, but how bout we say whats on our minds instead of hding it and then all these bad feelings fester inside and then we will blow up and there's no going back. I hope u understand everything im saying and i hop eit made sense. I'm letting it com eout as it comes and another thing WHITES BLACKS MEXICANS YELLOWS REDS PURPLES BLUES PINKS THE F'ing rainbow!!!-- STOP USING THE N-WORD whether its ending is n er or a or ah or uh! Its getting bad now when that DEROGITORY word is being thrown around like the word THE. The history behind it shows that is WAY more than that and if u'd like me to further ummm talk abou tit or further explain-- I will... nad now another thing, Im dealing with the fact that a guy may have committed suicide and i couldn't stop him. Let's pray he didn't. WoW that was random, but i feel that way sometimes, but im stronger than that and ill keep my head up and stick it through. Just like if on Friday i find that no one likes me, i'll deal with that too with my confidence and morals.
Tleipart--u know what u did was wrong today--dont hate me for helping the poor guy out.