An Update...
Well it has been over a month since my last update. All I can say right now is that I am soooo tired. The last month has been quite the hectic one. Things have not been easy. School has been both good and bad to me. I've been struggling in two classes in particular this semester, my Educational Tech class and my Econ class. One teacher does not like me too much because I don't march to the beat of her drum, the other doesn't even know that I exist. I'm worried about my last exams coming up because I have to get a C average in both of them in order to pass both classes. I could be worrying about nothing but you know me around finals time, I ALWAYS WORRY!
I think my problem is that I have become so detached from school itself. I worked in Dearborn High this past semester and loved it. Sure some of the kids were smart alecs but the experience all together was very enjoyable. The hard part is focusing on the now rather than what I want later down the line; my own job, my own home, and my marriage. I think most people just want everything to be done with so that they can move on. I guess its just difficult for me knowing that I have so much to do still and looking at others that are already done with school and are looking to make that new step into the professional world.
I'm afraid right now of the obstacles in my way. I can feel the pressure affecting me for the worse. I tell myself everyday that I have so many good things in my life but I allow all the little petty things to take over and bring me down into a state of depression. My friend told me the greatest thing and I love her (in a platonic way) for her optimism. "Its just school..." My problem is that I hate doing poorly in school and she pointed out that it won't be the end of the world. All I need is motivation to get the job done so I can get out of the game. I have to take this little bug of depression gnawing on my ear and flick it off into the void. All I have to do is get optimistic and start living and take plenty of relaxing breaks along the way so that I won't go insane.
I have a lot to do now to get everything done and out of the way. It'll be a fun challenge.
If anyone hasn't heard yet, Katie hasn't been doing so well in the health department. She had a few episodes while visiting her aunt in Ohio with her mom and brother. She ended up passing out twice and had to go to the ER in Dayton for some testing. I'll tell you, it isn't a fun thing to get a call over the phone and hearing that your fiance is in the hospital, let alone in a different state. I felt so powerless. All I could do was sit and wait for updates over the phone. No one knows what is wrong with her. I really hope it isn't anything serious. She's home now and is doing ok. She's been having a lot of tests done to figure out what caused her to pass out so suddenly. She's had a blood test the other day to rule out any blood sugar problems. Soon she'll be up for an EKG test as well as some Stress Tests and she'll have to wear a heart monitor for a few days just so the doctors can rule everything out. Its been pretty stressful but I've been surprised at how well I've handled it so far. I've come to understand what love really is and how I've been blessed with the wonderful gift of patience. She's really uncertain about herself now and she's afraid to out do herself. She's really afraid of driving now and being alone so I've taken over both of those areas for her. I drove her home from her Aunts today so she could try and drive herself to work. I hope she can regain her confidence back. Just pray for her that everything will be ok and that the doctors can discover what the cause of all of this is.
Well that's enough blabbering for now. Good luck this finals week everyone...
I think my problem is that I have become so detached from school itself. I worked in Dearborn High this past semester and loved it. Sure some of the kids were smart alecs but the experience all together was very enjoyable. The hard part is focusing on the now rather than what I want later down the line; my own job, my own home, and my marriage. I think most people just want everything to be done with so that they can move on. I guess its just difficult for me knowing that I have so much to do still and looking at others that are already done with school and are looking to make that new step into the professional world.
I'm afraid right now of the obstacles in my way. I can feel the pressure affecting me for the worse. I tell myself everyday that I have so many good things in my life but I allow all the little petty things to take over and bring me down into a state of depression. My friend told me the greatest thing and I love her (in a platonic way) for her optimism. "Its just school..." My problem is that I hate doing poorly in school and she pointed out that it won't be the end of the world. All I need is motivation to get the job done so I can get out of the game. I have to take this little bug of depression gnawing on my ear and flick it off into the void. All I have to do is get optimistic and start living and take plenty of relaxing breaks along the way so that I won't go insane.
I have a lot to do now to get everything done and out of the way. It'll be a fun challenge.
If anyone hasn't heard yet, Katie hasn't been doing so well in the health department. She had a few episodes while visiting her aunt in Ohio with her mom and brother. She ended up passing out twice and had to go to the ER in Dayton for some testing. I'll tell you, it isn't a fun thing to get a call over the phone and hearing that your fiance is in the hospital, let alone in a different state. I felt so powerless. All I could do was sit and wait for updates over the phone. No one knows what is wrong with her. I really hope it isn't anything serious. She's home now and is doing ok. She's been having a lot of tests done to figure out what caused her to pass out so suddenly. She's had a blood test the other day to rule out any blood sugar problems. Soon she'll be up for an EKG test as well as some Stress Tests and she'll have to wear a heart monitor for a few days just so the doctors can rule everything out. Its been pretty stressful but I've been surprised at how well I've handled it so far. I've come to understand what love really is and how I've been blessed with the wonderful gift of patience. She's really uncertain about herself now and she's afraid to out do herself. She's really afraid of driving now and being alone so I've taken over both of those areas for her. I drove her home from her Aunts today so she could try and drive herself to work. I hope she can regain her confidence back. Just pray for her that everything will be ok and that the doctors can discover what the cause of all of this is.
Well that's enough blabbering for now. Good luck this finals week everyone...