(no subject)
I guess I haven't really been paying attention. I just realized last night how beautiful Picaresque is. It certainly is perfect to soothe the emotional turmoil I find myself in these days. Christopher has moved to another store, which I thought might help me get over him. But he's all I think of. And for some reason, I am with another man. I think I like the feeling that someone in the world wouldn't mind if I kissed him. But it would just feel like practice to me, or something. I definitely can't get serious about anyone since I am leaving for England in less than 2 months. But what would I say to Christopher? I love you, but I'm leaving for three months??? I thought he would just be there until I left. Maybe this is a sign that I'm supposed to push things along. Who fuckin' knows? Everyone tells me to stop reading into things and to stop over thinking things. But isn't that what seperates me from less intelligent people? And its also what keeps me from enjoying life. I really need to see a therapist.
I am going to plug in my big headphones and drown myself.
I am going to plug in my big headphones and drown myself.